To be upset?

[bellabelle1994]

I guaranteed a loan for a long term friend last July, for around £1250 they made 2 payments on it then declared themselves bankrupt reassuring me they'd send me the money each month. The loan was held until May this year because of the bankruptcy claim going through. I've been making the payments on a massively reduced rate.

This "friend" however has been spending a ludicrous amount of money on clothes, takeaway, nights out and other stuff yet has never once offered me anything towards this loan or even an apology.

I feel really upset that someone I am friends with has done this to me. I feel like I should say something but at the same time I feel really horrible just pouring out how pissed off I am at random. I feel like it's my own fault.

It kinda is your own fault. Anyone needing a guarantor for a loan has issues with debt and the fact they came to you instead of family screams money issues. I hope you can get her to cough up but I doubt she will

@bellabelle1994

I think I've more or less come to terms with that I'm paying someone else's debt. But I feel like fucking smacking her one.

You are not paying off someone else's debt, you are paying off your debt. That's what happens when you agree to be a guarantor for a loan. If you don't pay it off, your credit will be ruined.

I hope this is a lesson learned. A very hard one at that.

I wouldn't be as bothered but it's the fact she clearly has the money to pay it. I wish I'd never agreed, she had me on the spot and as cliche as it sounds I felt sorry for her.

You can try to appeal to her sense of decency to resume the payments, but I doubt she has one. Your focus should be figuring out how you are going to pay this debt off.

How are you not totally furious. Always amazes me how people can be such doormats.

@DrManhattan believe me I'm seething. It makes me vomit considering when she buys anything new she sends it me to show me as well. I'm just not very good at opening my mouth, and I have been a doormat in this case absolutely. Also I was in an abusive relationship at the time. She's seen me coming hasn't she.

I can pay it off, I'm in a decent paid job and I'm not struggling but I pay £65 a month for it, the original payments were £132 a month which I had to reduce because I needed a new car as mine had given up

At least you can see it now. It's a tough (expensive) lesson to learn xx

She's not your friend so I fail to see why you are so hesitant to give her a bollocking. You're an adult, act like one and speak your mind.

I often feel abit like that in opening my mouth, I don't like upsetting people. I've been a people pleaser

Aka I'm abit of a wet fart. A lot of things during life I was told "it's my own fault" when it wasn't so I didn't complain. That's stuck with me I guess!

@bellabelle1994

I often feel abit like that in opening my mouth, I don't like upsetting people. I've been a people pleaser

But it's ok for her to upset you and leave you paying off her loan? Please find your backbone and text her to tell her when the next payment is due, that it's all getting too much for you to pay and that if she has a shred of respect for you she should pay it given she can clearly afford it now.

There is a chance that if your ‘friend’ had a lot of other debt at the time the loan company shouldn’t have approved her application.
If they were irresponsible in lending to her then there may be a claim against them.
I am not sure which of you needs to make the claim.
I hope this link is useful
www.stepchange.org/debt-info/your-rights/irresponsible-lending-and-affordability-checks.aspx#:~:text=Guarantor%20loans%20company%20Amigo%20Loans%20are%20being%20investigated,with%20your%20payments%2C%20you%20should%20get%20debt%20advice.

Just go round and nut her.

Every time she shows you something new she’s bought, I would say “you DO realise I’m paying off YOUR loan don’t you? How can you live with yourself knowing you’ve stolen over £1000 from me?”

@a @bellabelle1994lso a people pleaser here! And I was in a vulnerable situation at the time she asked and I stupidly agreed to be a guarantor - I was a single parent in a min wage job on a zero hours contract and she was my manager so in charge of setting my shifts.
This was my main argument when I complained. But not just that I wasn’t a suitable guarantor but as she was also in a low paid seasonal job (we worked together in a hotel in a tourist town so plenty of work in the summer and barely anything in the winter) who had lots of existing debt she shouldn’t have been offered the loan in the first place. Like I said I used Resolver, they have a template letter and help make sure you follow the appropriate routes and timescales when complaining . They are also doing some kind of compensation scheme due to so many complaints have they contacted you regarding this?

@Queenoftheashes I bloody wish 🤣🤣

@StellatheCat are you me from another dimension? 👀

I'm gonna look on resolver now, I've not heard anything so far!

How about
‘Instead of sending me pix please send me the money you owe me’
Cheeky cow. I’m seething on your behalf.

@bellabelle1994

Best of luck!

It’s a hard lesson we have both learned!

OP I would mention it and ask her to start making payments. If she says she has no money then tell her you assumed she did since she is often spending money.

I've typed this out and I'm going to send it around 25 seconds before I go to sleep.

Hiya, I know you've been having a hard time recently but I simply can't ignore the fact that I'm paying your debt off. You send me pictures of clothes and shit you buy on a weekly basis and I find it seriously hurtful that you can't even go into a payment plan, this isn't a stupid amount of money either it's over a grand. You knew exactly what you were doing and the fact you decided to declare yourself bankrupt 8 weeks after getting that money is a complete joke. You've had the money to pay it but of course like everything else YOU have to come first, this fucking debt is on my credit file and the fact you have never even said sorry for the mess you have put me in financially is a fucking joke.
I'm gonna give you the opportunity to start a regular payment plan to cover upcoming payments plus the money I've already paid before I start the process using the small claims court. And as of now I no longer want to continue this "friendship" friends don't do what you did. You're a selfish cheeky hard faced cow and the fact you have put me in this position is infuriating

Send it, but the small claims court issue is bullocks. This is not an issue of an amount of money she owes you, this is a loan you willingly agreed to sign for.

Well it's a learning point op, and I have to say I never lend anyone money. I'd much rather give them money and that be the end of the matter. But of course I would only give what I could afford to give and forget.

Oh believe me I'll never give anyone a penny again.