AIBU to think he's stepping over the professional line?

[Watermelonsugarhi]

My son is 5 years old and just begun year 1.
Over the summer hols he attended a sport club 9-12. The guy who runs the club is the schools p.e teacher who they source and he's self employed. Late 50s I'd say.
So there's been a few things that have happened and now I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and wondered if I'm overreacting or I'm reasonable to feel this way.
So the 1st was when I picked my DS up from the summer club and the PE guy said my son was amazing and smiley and quote "I just want to take him home" There was only us three there when he said this.
Later that evening about 7pm he texts on his work mobile (I had to text this number to arrange the clubs) saying my son was a breath of fresh air and was great.
Today he's finished sports club and come out with a massive bag of haribo. I asked what it was for and my son says star of the week or something. No one got anything last week, not sure if anyone will get any next week.
So would you feel comfortable at all this or do you think there is a line of professionalism he is crossing? I've spoken to my partner who is a primary school teacher and they think he is crossing the line of professionalism.

Sorry, that’ll teach me to RTFT.

I am really glad you spoke up, OP. I have seen men like this in action. The fact he's a PE teacher, and has considerable years of experience as one also, should make him doubly aware of proper boundaries with children. Just because he's come up with a defence and the head has swallowed it, doesn't make his behaviour okay.

I don't find this that bad at all. But perhaps I would if I were there. Always trust your instincts if things feel off.

Also, I know he's a teacher, but you should judge him by the typical behaviour of people who work in clubs, because that's what this relates to. He might behave differently in his capacity as a PE teacher (more formally for a start).

@Blossomtoes

Sorry, that’ll teach me to RTFT.

Too late sadly. The OP had probably diminished all this guy's self esteem and will have made him forever paranoid that he will be accused of being inappropriate. I

The OP had probably diminished all this guy's self esteem and will have made him forever paranoid that he will be accused of being inappropriate.

Oh, come on. If he's not some teenage. If he's not learnt by 55 that he needs to hold himself in a particular respectful way around children... well, now he has.

The OP's partner, a primary school teacher, understands the boundaries of appropriate child-mentor relationships and so should this man. He's 55 - he's able to restore his own self-esteem, and he is also able to moderate his own behaviour should it not actually be grooming, so that he doesn't behave in a creepy way that feels like grooming a small child.

*He's not some teenager.

If he is self employed its his job to boost the club. Encourage people to.come back.
Perhaps he sent messages out to all the parents. Perhaps your son was a wee star for being reception age.

A star of the week is pretty standard in these clubs and usually its sweet and ot a certificate

I do think any kind of enthusiasm from.men who are coaches is deemed suspicious now a days - understandably from past events. I coach often tell me kids parents that I would happily take them home and they are stars

Check out nspcc OP. There great stuff like pants rule you can take kids through. Talk to your own child about whats appropriate - in kids terms.

And discuss safe adults

Well done for raising it. It’s uncomfortable and it’s often much easier to suppress instincts and turn a blind eye. Hopefully he’s just a lovely, enthusiastic guy, but the text was a little odd. Like others, I feel sorry for men who work in primary settings for this reason but the kids’ welfare comes before adult feelings. And, as unfair as it is, offenders are far more likely to be men and more often from PE backgrounds than others. Again, it’s not fair, but you were right to flag.

His being married seems to indicate to some posters that all is well. Married doesn’t mean safe and whilst it’s a sad thought that we far people before we might have all of the facts, it’s still better to be safe when a child’s involved. To the posters who work in schools and make similar comments/actions, are the teachers you are thinking of all women? I think we have some unconscious bias in these situations.
OP: your gut is telling you something so I would agree it’s best to take your son out.

If you feel weird there is something weird going on. Have you actually asked your child about it? Like how what he does at the club, what this guy does? why he was given a massive bag of sweets?

Always always follow your instinct on these matters. It will be putting lots of tiny clues together that you can’t consciously process.

I think you’d be right to pull your child out of sports club.

I think your jumping the gun here

First comment what he can't say something nice about a pupil. If he didn't give him any praise he probably wouldn't be very good at his job.

The text message probably over stepped the mark.

The haribo don't they start new game all the time in class? So maybe the star of the week thing started this week to curve other children's behavior?

I think you were right to go with your gut. My partner coaches our sons football team and I'm trying to imagine him doing those things that you have mentioned of the PE teacher and he just would never put himself in that position. He makes a point of never being alone with any of the boys on the team.

As someone pointed out, he shouldn't be alone with the kids at all. It is strange that he texted you outside of the club. The sweet thing is a bit odd in that I didn't think kids were really given sweets as a prize these days but could be innocent.

I wouldn't have liked the way that the head handled it either. She should have taken on board your concerns without defending him. It's just awkward now.