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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think he's stepping over the professional line?

116 replies

Watermelonsugarhi · 14/09/2021 19:47

My son is 5 years old and just begun year 1.
Over the summer hols he attended a sport club 9-12. The guy who runs the club is the schools p.e teacher who they source and he's self employed. Late 50s I'd say.
So there's been a few things that have happened and now I'm beginning to feel uncomfortable and wondered if I'm overreacting or I'm reasonable to feel this way.
So the 1st was when I picked my DS up from the summer club and the PE guy said my son was amazing and smiley and quote "I just want to take him home" There was only us three there when he said this.
Later that evening about 7pm he texts on his work mobile (I had to text this number to arrange the clubs) saying my son was a breath of fresh air and was great.
Today he's finished sports club and come out with a massive bag of haribo. I asked what it was for and my son says star of the week or something. No one got anything last week, not sure if anyone will get any next week.
So would you feel comfortable at all this or do you think there is a line of professionalism he is crossing? I've spoken to my partner who is a primary school teacher and they think he is crossing the line of professionalism.

OP posts:
Cantfindausernamethatsnottaken · 14/09/2021 21:42

Honestly,I would just take him out and put him in another club.Go with your instincts.Protect your child.

Still1nLove · 14/09/2021 21:51

I would be weary of anyone taking an unprofessional interest in my child and I would remove my child from his club. And I would definitely report it to the safeguarding lead.

Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 14/09/2021 22:09

Do you think I should remove my child from the club? He is my DS pe teacher in school hours too

OP posts:
FrangipaniBlue · 14/09/2021 22:34

@Scandimandy

Just a thought, maybe the guy fancies you and thinks that complimenting your child is the way to your heart?
The was my first reaction aswell!
sunflowerdaisies · 14/09/2021 22:39

I'd personally wait a couple of weeks and see how things go.

christinarossetti19 · 14/09/2021 23:15

Removing your child from the club won't prevent him coming into contact if he is also the school PE teacher.

But the fact that he is means that he really, really should know about safeguarding.

The Safeguarding Lead shouldn't inform the Deputy at the point of concern if the person involved is related to her.

It can all be resolved with a conversation between the Safeguarding Lead and the man involved. S/he should probably recommend that he updates his training.

Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 15/09/2021 06:24

He hasn't flirted with me or anything though

OP posts:
Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 15/09/2021 06:31

@christinarossetti19

Removing your child from the club won't prevent him coming into contact if he is also the school PE teacher.

But the fact that he is means that he really, really should know about safeguarding.

The Safeguarding Lead shouldn't inform the Deputy at the point of concern if the person involved is related to her.

It can all be resolved with a conversation between the Safeguarding Lead and the man involved. S/he should probably recommend that he updates his training.

Thank you that's really helpful to know.

As I've said my partners a primary school teacher so I've heard how strict safeguarding is (which is great). So obviously I was unsure how he was behaving was OK as they have to be careful with what they say and do. But I'm glad I've gone with my instinct.
I'll email the headteacher this morning

OP posts:
Porridgealert · 15/09/2021 06:34

Are you saying he's a paedophile?

Booknooks · 15/09/2021 06:35

@christinarossetti19

You don't need to frame it as 'I'm concerned about this teacher's intentions'.

More 'I'm concerned that this is against safeguarding policy and the teacher could be putting himself in a vulnerable position by doing this'.

I agree that the unnecessary text is the thing that 'feels' most uncomfortable, however kindly it was meant.

Yes this is really good advice. I think it's important to follow your instincts, if you feel something is off than report it, and this is a good angle along with the facts about what he has done and they can decide what action to take. It does feel a bit beyond what's appropriate to me.
PenguinMama · 15/09/2021 06:47

I'm a sg lead and the way to deal with any concerns with staff is talking to the head teacher (if the concern is about the head, you go to the chair of governors). Even though the deputy does safeguarding, given the relationship I would expect the head to be investigating without the dh being involved at all. The new guidance specifically talks about reporting and monitoring with low level concerns (texting, favourites ...) so the head should have this recently in mind.

Any concern, report it. It might be nothing (and can be easily dealt with via a conversation) but better to check than not. You don't have to frame it in a accusatory way, but just say it felt off and you wanted to share your worries.

pasturesgreen · 15/09/2021 06:58

The first comment I wouldn't mind, might well have been a clumsy attempt at being friendly. Some people can be really self conscious about making small talk and it comes out totally wrong.

What I would very much mind is the texting out of hours on some spurious pretext. Some excellent suggestions upthread on how to bring it up.

Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 15/09/2021 07:04

@Porridgealert

Are you saying he's a paedophile?
I haven't said that. At the least he's just a friendly kind guy who is overstepping a professional line and having a favourite.

Even though I feel this might be the case you just never know what people's true intentions are. So there is a small, slim chance that it is not the above.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 15/09/2021 07:13

Have you actually spoken to any of the other parents? It's entirely possible he texts them to saying nice things about their children, and regularly hands out swerts/prizes to others. It's a fee paying club I assume, not school, so needs members to pay so it can run. This might be an ott marketing ploy to build loyalty.

Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 15/09/2021 07:16

@Thingsdogetbetter

Have you actually spoken to any of the other parents? It's entirely possible he texts them to saying nice things about their children, and regularly hands out swerts/prizes to others. It's a fee paying club I assume, not school, so needs members to pay so it can run. This might be an ott marketing ploy to build loyalty.
I don't really know any of the other parents that well to ask tbh. Yea that's true could be that too, however he should know working in a school that he shouldn't cross a professional line. Especially his wife being the deputy safeguarding person.
OP posts:
pinkflask · 15/09/2021 07:17

Raising safeguarding concerns isn’t about saying someone is a paedophile or accusing them of anything. The point of safeguarding is that we report or pass on all the things that previously went unreported for precisely this reason. If you safeguard correctly, you’ll hopefully never have to accuse anyone of anything!

Stellaroses · 15/09/2021 07:19

I'm going to go against what most are saying and say it sounds unusual but not worrying. (I'm a primary school teacher).

Comment - nothing in it, wouldn't say it personally but have heard (female) teaching assistants say this sort of thing to parents. Your child must be especially sunny and friendly?

Text - this is the oddest as I can't imagine texting a parent, but if you text that number to arrange things, not so odd. Maybe he routinely sends a little text update to each new starter?

Sweets - not the best idea but clubs seem to do this more than schools. If I said anything to the school, it would be about this. Our after school club often gives out treats or party snacks though and presumably they have everyone's allergy info?

Lastly if he is teaching PE in school then he is at v least DBS checked. If he's on his own with kids then he should have at least HLTA level qualifications. Are you sure he's not a retired PE teacher or something?

MyOtherProfile · 15/09/2021 07:20

@Porridgealert

Are you saying he's a paedophile?
That's quite a jump.
SeasonFinale · 15/09/2021 07:22

Please just report it to the designated safeguarding lead and do not talk to other parents about it. The school will then deal with it in an appropriate way. Talking to other parents may start unfounded rumours.

Bluntness100 · 15/09/2021 07:28

God he could be saying that to every parent ans there is a winner every week. Basically he wants repeat business. You could be right he is targeting your son or you could be way off the mark and he’s trying to encourage him.

Original poster
Watermelonsugarhi · 15/09/2021 07:37

@SeasonFinale

Please just report it to the designated safeguarding lead and do not talk to other parents about it. The school will then deal with it in an appropriate way. Talking to other parents may start unfounded rumours.
Yes I'm def not the gossiping type and wouldnt want to go around the playground saying all this stuff. He is very likely just a nice person who others have said is trying to get repeat business but in a not so professional way.
OP posts:
MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/09/2021 07:41

i dont think you can report it tbh
if you are uncomfortable take him out
however he is the day time pe teacher as well so that must be ok

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/09/2021 07:42

he will be employed by the school surely,
the self employment is for the extra hours he puts in
is it relevant?

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/09/2021 07:43

when you picked him up why were there only you three?
he should always have another adult with him

MrsLargeEmbodied · 15/09/2021 07:45

he is star of the week that is feasible

i think you need to hold fire on your email

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