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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The farmer wants a wife

344 replies

Anothermothernamegame · 14/09/2021 17:28

DD 4yo has just started reception, and has been singing this song, which they have taught her.

'The farmer wants a wife... The wife wants a child etc'.

AIBU to think this is a really old fashioned, and fairly sexist song to be teaching kids?

Just for the record, it's a fairly "progressive" school in a fairly "progressive" and sought after neighbourhood.

...and no, I don't usually have a stick up my arse, so might well be overreacting.

OP posts:
Hotpinkangel19 · 14/09/2021 18:58

Oh don't be daft

CoronaPeroni · 14/09/2021 18:59

Also I sang In and Out the Dusting Bluebells at school in the 60s. Is Dusty Bluebells a later variation?

KidneyBeans · 14/09/2021 19:00

AIBU to think this is a really old fashioned, and fairly sexist song to be teaching kids?

Only if you assume that farmers must be men @Anothermothernamegame Wink

SeriouslyISuppose · 14/09/2021 19:02

You’re not wrong, OP, but save your powder for the ‘Wheels on the Bus’, which doesn’t even have the excuse of antiquity. I did insist on altering the ‘Mummies on the bus gochatter, chatter, chatter’, while the Fathers on the Bus commuted, ran the world and were irritated by the babies’ noise or whatever, particularly as the women singing it included a gynaecologist, a farmer, a lawyer, an academic, and a maths teacher all counting the KIT days (well, not the farmer — I’m not sure she’d taken much or any mat leave, but the rest…).

UserEmptor · 14/09/2021 19:02

@Anothermothernamegame

Ha! Oh god well I accept I'm being a total knob jockey then. I definitely don't conform to 'woke' culture or cancel culture at all, but can see how that may have been assumed. This is my first week back to work after maternity leave, trying to reduce BFing, and barely sleeping. I'll put it down to that Wink I certainly wasn't going to lose sleep over it, and I wasn't fretting, I just eye rolled a bit when my 4yo DD came out with 'the wife wants a child', and so came to see just how much of a tit I was being. Turns out I'm being a solid 9!
Hahaha. Good call, OP.
Thatsplentyjack · 14/09/2021 19:02

Well yeah, most t nursery rhymes are old fashioned and completely outdated.

FlaviaAlbiaWantsLangClegBack · 14/09/2021 19:05

@CiaoForNiao

Google says it is dusty. Hmph.
Wierd isn't it? I've just went down a Google rabbit hole looking at the etymology of dust and dusting and the only thing that makes sense is that it means earthy bluebells... Dusky is much nicer!
Maria1982 · 14/09/2021 19:06

@AngeloMysterioso

This is how we ended up with baa baa rainbow sheep…
Oh my gosh, that’s a thing that’s actually happened??? I feel old and politically incorrect now (obvs I have no children so unaware of the ‘corrections’ made to nursery rhymes in the past 30 years …)
FAQs · 14/09/2021 19:06

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

The farmer wants a wife comes from when farmers would actually BUY a wife (often underage) so I’m not sure it’s suitable

And your evidence for this is.....?

It has never been the U.K. practice to pay a bride price. Royalty and the aristocracy used to marry very young for dynastic reasons but, for most other sectors of society for most of our history, marriage in your twenties was the norm.

But don't let mere facts get in your way 😉

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow it used to be legal to marry at the ages or 12 and 14 and often in higher class families these were arranged at birth and married in the mid to late teens, and a dowry was exchanged. Which could include money, land, property. The ones who married in their 20s were usually those in service or in less well off communities.

Life of Tudor woman is interesting reading and sad where the girls families exchanged them for goods for long term security, status and financial wealth. The girls had no say in the matter.

MelonSurprise · 14/09/2021 19:07

"Won't somebody think of the children!!!"

My kids nursery posted a video of them singing this recently, brought back memories of me singing it and enthusiastically patting the bone at the end 🤣 (poor kid). It made me laugh as they were singing the farmer wants the wife the nursery teacher dropped in "or a husband", so 2021. I was a little annoyed she left out those non binary and those wanting to cohabit (although catholic school we probably can't have that) 🤣🤣.

I think maybe just let kids be kids and enjoy the song like I was allowed to...

weesleekitcowrantimrousbeastie · 14/09/2021 19:08

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the request of the user.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 14/09/2021 19:12

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow it used to be legal to marry at the ages or 12 and 14 and often in higher class families these were arranged at birth and married in the mid to late teens, and a dowry was exchanged. Which could include money, land, property. The ones who married in their 20s were usually those in service or in less well off communities

Er yes, that's exactly what I just said.

A dowry is the opposite of a bride price.

Toffeepineapple · 14/09/2021 19:13

I actually clicked on this assuming it was a new Channel 4 "reality" show.

Quite disappointed 🤔

Embroidery · 14/09/2021 19:14

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross,
To see a fine lady upon a white horse;
Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes,
And she shall have music wherever she goes
Source: Musixmatch

This one's far ruder. The ladies at baby group couldnt believe it was so rude and had it banned. Genuinely. ( ride a c**k and the sex work implied)

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 19:17

This one's far ruder. The ladies at baby group couldnt believe it was so rude and had it banned. Genuinely. ( ride a ck and the sex work implied)
That's not what it means at all. Ffs! 🙄
Some people...

owlbethere · 14/09/2021 19:17

@Embroidery

Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross, To see a fine lady upon a white horse; Rings on her fingers and bells on her toes, And she shall have music wherever she goes Source: Musixmatch

This one's far ruder. The ladies at baby group couldnt believe it was so rude and had it banned. Genuinely. ( ride a c**k and the sex work implied)

Huh. I had genuinely never even considered that’s what that was about!! Seems so obvious now! 😂
CoronaPeroni · 14/09/2021 19:18

The one I always hated was Soldier, Soldier won't you marry me? She pleads with him to marry her and there's always some excuse, no coat, no shoes etc so she fannies around finding them and then at the end he can't marry her because he's already married!! I hate him. Always have done, always will.

jobsagudden · 14/09/2021 19:18

My DD has just started reception too and I remembered learning this when I started school and loving it. Everyone used to join arms and take turns to skip through the middle. Was so fun. Was just thinking it was sad as it probably wouldn't be taught anymore as its a bit sexist. So I'm quite shocked they are still singing it but it's quite nice in a way.

Elderflower14 · 14/09/2021 19:20

This has to be up for ridiculous thread of the day!!

CiaoForNiao · 14/09/2021 19:21

Ride a cock horse isn't about sex work Confused

Blossomtoes · 14/09/2021 19:22

A cock horse is a stallion, it’s got fuck all to do with sex work.

GreyhoundG1rl · 14/09/2021 19:23

@CiaoForNiao

Ride a cock horse isn't about sex work Confused
Of course it isn't. I don't know whether an entire baby group's worth of gobshites tutting and demanding it be banned is funny or pitiful, tbh.
Drummerboy12 · 14/09/2021 19:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

girlmom21 · 14/09/2021 19:24

Wow @Drummerboy12 are you ok?

Original poster
Anothermothernamegame · 14/09/2021 19:24

@Elderflower14

This has to be up for ridiculous thread of the day!!
Why, thank you! Grin
OP posts: