The farmer wants a wife

[Anothermothernamegame]

DD 4yo has just started reception, and has been singing this song, which they have taught her.

'The farmer wants a wife... The wife wants a child etc'.

AIBU to think this is a really old fashioned, and fairly sexist song to be teaching kids?

Just for the record, it's a fairly "progressive" school in a fairly "progressive" and sought after neighbourhood.

...and no, I don't usually have a stick up my arse, so might well be overreacting.

You really think this is old fashioned. It’s life as I know it.

It's life as I know it

Irrelevant. It may be life as most of us know it, but the real world is neither here nor there. We can only talk, write or sing about the ideal world, however far from the truth that may be.

I always thought that the farmer “takes” a wife - which is a bit but if he/she “wants” one then, I’m cool with that - going to change our version accordingly!

Egalitarianism goes straight out the window with kids

@icedcoffees

The farmer could be female!

Yep...I would use this as a basis to talk about how families might be different to what the farmer wants. Good opportunity to see what your child thinks about families.

Yep...I would use this as a basis to talk about how families might be different to what the farmer wants.
Good opportunity to see what your child thinks about families.

Or just let your child sing a blooming song that they're really not thinking about or scrutinizing without a blooming PC lesson appended.

I was singing that to my children the other day as something I sing as a child. - we were patting our dog.
They had never heard before!
Kids are 15.13 and 10
And I’m 48

@LowbrowVictoriana

Yep...I would use this as a basis to talk about how families might be different to what the farmer wants. Good opportunity to see what your child thinks about families.

Or just let your child sing a blooming song that they're really not thinking about or scrutinizing without a blooming PC lesson appended.

I couldn't agree more. Honestly, does everything little fiddle faddle need to be a teachable moment these days?
Earnest people are so frigging tedious.

Jeeeze. It makes you wonder how any of us as adult females managed to be strong, functioning, feminist women.

We all grew up on that stuff without our patents needing to use these rhymes as a lesson.

Ha! Exactly @saraclara...

I'm old(ish), so grew up on all sorts of unchallenged, sexist nursery rhyme and fairytale nonsense. I would say this probably did more good than harm, provoking my young feminist outrage all the more!

The farmer should get himself onto Muddy Matches, the natural spawning ground of gold diggers and landowners.

I prefer that to (and I'm sure the words are slightly different here in the US):

Ring around the roses,
A pocket full of posies
Ashes, ashes we all fall down

Which started out as:

A ring, of roses (the buboes caused by plague)
A pocket full of posies (people carried herbs to ward off illness)
Achoo, Achoo
We all fall down! (everybody dies)

girlmom21

Durbeyfield
I’d do a farmer, if he (or she) was hot. I’m not sure I’m ready for marriage though.

"The farmer wants a fuck buddy" doesn't have the same ring to it grin

😂

RaininSummer

If the game of life was actually more realistic with divorce, job loss and all the real fun of life, we would very depressed as kids

I remember playing Monopoly with a child who kept on winning and finding it depressing realistic to real life. It struck me as a rather nasty game about flipping property.

The farmer wants a wife comes from when farmers would actually BUY a wife (often underage) so I’m not sure it’s suitable

Right

Sorry OP, you most definitely have a stick up your arse 🤷‍♀️

Why would farmers need to buy a wife, most were quite eligible if Thomas hardy novels are anything to go by.

Sigh …………

Lots of farmers want a wife. They don't buy them any more. Lots of farmers want children. Lighten up OP.

@girlmom21 .... thanks you made me smile.

FFS It's a nursery rhyme. Why do people have to dissect every single word ever said and make it sexist, racist, ageist or whatever. Let it go and worry about something worth mentioning.

for goodness sake...stop angsting about nothing. We sang that when i was a small girl and now at 87 it never made me feel less equal. it is an English traditional song that children enjoy because it is repetitive. And yes, I was a teacher and the parent of three adult, well adjusted children. Sometimes i wonder why women worry about such unimportant matters.

I'm in my 70's and I agree with the OP. It might just be a well known nursery song but it represents and reinforces some very stereotypical ideas. Maybe the farmer could be a female and could want a wife (who may or may not want a child). But what if the farmer is male and wants a husband (who, again, may or may not want a child).

Ring a roses is a different issue. It's based on a historical event and does not involve stereotyping.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

The farmer wants a wife comes from when farmers would actually BUY a wife (often underage) so I’m not sure it’s suitable

And your evidence for this is.....?

It has never been the U.K. practice to pay a bride price. Royalty and the aristocracy used to marry very young for dynastic reasons but, for most other sectors of society for most of our history, marriage in your twenties was the norm.

But don't let mere facts get in your way 😉

Theres a Thomas Hardy novel which starts with someone SELLING a wife, so obviously someone bought her. Mayor of Casterbridge I think.

The farmer could be a woman 🤷🏼‍♀️

I hate all this cancel culture stuff which means nursery rhymes and fairytales are not allowed anymore, loads of nursery rhymes and fairy tales are actually pretty dark in their original state anyway and got Disney’ed up to be fair. I mean blimey 3 Blind Mice getting their tails chopped off, Oranges and Lemons “here comes a chopper to chop off your head” Little Red Riding Hood getting eaten by a wolf.

It’s life it’s a bit of fun let’s just save some of our heritage please