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AIBU?

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Original poster

The farmer wants a wife

344 replies

Anothermothernamegame · 14/09/2021 17:28

DD 4yo has just started reception, and has been singing this song, which they have taught her.

'The farmer wants a wife... The wife wants a child etc'.

AIBU to think this is a really old fashioned, and fairly sexist song to be teaching kids?

Just for the record, it's a fairly "progressive" school in a fairly "progressive" and sought after neighbourhood.

...and no, I don't usually have a stick up my arse, so might well be overreacting.

OP posts:
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 16/09/2021 21:17

Theres a Thomas Hardy novel which starts with someone SELLING a wife, so obviously someone bought her. Mayor of Casterbridge I think

Indeed, but the entire plot of the novel hinges on the fact that the sale was (a) not legal and (b) sensational and shameful. Hardy certainly did not represent it as a normal or acceptable process.

Durbeyfield · 16/09/2021 21:48

What a magnificent story that is. The writing on his gravestone at the end!

ddl1 · 16/09/2021 21:48

I don't think children should be sheltered from older songs - so long as they're not scary. BTW, I know a female farmer who has a wife!

ddl1 · 16/09/2021 21:51

And even if they are scary - many kids love them even more! I remember my friend and myself as kids loving to sing a song from god knows where to the tune of John Brown's Body: 'The sergeant was the last to jump, the first to hit the ground... He landed on the ground like a blob of strawberry jam...' etc.

upinaballoon · 16/09/2021 22:02

As an alternative you could teach them 'Goosey, goosey, gander, where shall I wander, upstairs and downstairs and in my lady's chamber' etc.(whatever that means).Smile

PeriChristmas · 16/09/2021 22:08

Meh.

Lockeddownagain · 16/09/2021 22:30

I get more annoyed about the child wants a dog bit no way is my child getting a dog

LowbrowVictoriana · 17/09/2021 08:33

Theres a Thomas Hardy novel which starts with someone SELLING a wife, so obviously someone bought her. Mayor of Casterbridge I think

He very drunkenly put her and their child up for auction. Bystanders said "hey that's not legal or binding, tell him to naff off," (paraphrasing, obv) but the wife said she'd take her chances with the new guy as husband was a drunken twat.

There was no legal selling, and this wasn't a general thing!

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 17/09/2021 09:56

@ddl1

And even if they are scary - many kids love them even more! I remember my friend and myself as kids loving to sing a song from god knows where to the tune of John Brown's Body: 'The sergeant was the last to jump, the first to hit the ground... He landed on the ground like a blob of strawberry jam...' etc.
And he ain't going to jump no more-ore-ore 😀
ddl1 · 17/09/2021 15:38

And he ain't going to jump no more-ore-ore 😀

Gory. gory, halleluia!

MargaretThursday · 17/09/2021 16:49

@ddl1

And even if they are scary - many kids love them even more! I remember my friend and myself as kids loving to sing a song from god knows where to the tune of John Brown's Body: 'The sergeant was the last to jump, the first to hit the ground... He landed on the ground like a blob of strawberry jam...' etc.
Our Sergeant Major jumped without a parachute...

He landed on the runway like a lump of strawberry jam

They scraped him off the runway and put him in a jar...

They spread him on the sandwiches when the vicar came to tea...

The vicar didn't like him so he flushed him down the loo...

And he ain't going to jump no more...

I taught that (along with other songs but this was the one they loved) to a group of 8yo girls going to a dance show. There was an accident in front of us and the traffic was almost stationary, and they were worried they were going to be late.
You'd be amazed how loudly 4x 8yos can sing. I hope the cars around appreciated it. I think they repeated this one about 20 times 🤣

Owlette123 · 17/09/2021 16:54

What will there be left of traditions and memories at this rate.

My own child started school recently and she told me yesterday she sang 'baa baa rainbow sheep' at school, I mean, come on! It's a bloody sheep. I don't drive along and see a bedazzled rainbow sheep in any field but I do see black sheep and white sheep.

Why can't people just leave stuff alone

NeverDropYourMooncup · 17/09/2021 17:06

@Owlette123

What will there be left of traditions and memories at this rate.

My own child started school recently and she told me yesterday she sang 'baa baa rainbow sheep' at school, I mean, come on! It's a bloody sheep. I don't drive along and see a bedazzled rainbow sheep in any field but I do see black sheep and white sheep.

Why can't people just leave stuff alone

If the tup's been at them a couple of times, there can be rainbow ewes...
LowbrowVictoriana · 17/09/2021 19:35

What will there be left of traditions and memories at this rate

Yes, it's all getting sanitised and politically corrected. When I was a child I had some old fairy tale books that had been my mum's. They were brutal, full of death and nastiness.

I was appalled at the new versions in the books I bought for my own children: grandma rescued from the wolf, Goldilocks taken home safely by daddy bear, little mermaid surviving and other such nonsense.

pigsDOfly · 18/09/2021 00:00

What will there be left of traditions and memories at this rate.

Nothing, unfortunately.

But that's what a lot of people seem to want because, according to their way of thinking, anything that they don't approve of or sanction is wrong and should be done away with or changed in order to meet with their approval.

Their way of thinking is the only 'right' way. Apparently.

It's a very strange, modern method of censorship.

They don't burn books, but it's the same mentality.

notoldjustpastyoung · 18/09/2021 17:46

Is it wrong now to say 'I want to have a baby'. The world's gone mad and you've got better things to worry about than nursery songs. Nobody really thinks about the words they just sing.

LowbrowVictoriana · 18/09/2021 18:17

Is it wrong now to say 'I want to have a baby'

It is if you're a wife, apparently!

Blueink · 19/09/2021 05:30

Patting the bone I thought was silly and funny as a kid, the rest of it was a bit dull
Michael Finnegan and Lily the Pink were a bit more entertaining

Eggmcmuffin · 19/09/2021 10:24

I get where you're coming from OP. No harm done in isolation, but all these things add up to give messages to our children that we don't want so we have to try and change the little things. My nursery sing a song about 'little indians', it's meant to be cowboys and Indians, but I raised an eyebrow when I heard my little girl singing it!

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