‘Nice’ Things That Aren’t Actually

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Just a random musing.

Breakfast in bed- lovely idea, reality is you need to get up for a wee and then a tray is plonked on your lap, and groggy from sleep you are supposed to exclaim in delight over bits of pastry flaking into your sheets and slopping coffee down yourself and trying to subtly get the sluggy bits of fat off the bacon because you usually just get medallions.

Relaxing massage- I went the other day and I kept thinking ‘I’ll switch off and enjoy it in a minute’ but just kept thinking about whether to get the tube or the bus home and if there are oven chips in the freezer or not or if I watered my peace lily last week and if not it’s probably died. Then it was finished and it cost me £80.

Anyone got anything they can add to things that sound so nice as an idea but in reality are just not really?

Spa days
Shop bought sandwiches
Hot chocolate
Doritos
Taco's

@FurrySlipperBoots

Having 'Happy Birthday' sung to you. There cannot be anyone out there who doesn't just cringe through it.

Many, over 55, years ago, on the morning of my 16th birthday my mother and brother thought it would be nice to have Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen blaring out. I refused to come down until they stopped it!

@Neonplant

What a fucking miserable thread.

I think it's pretty joyful - A relief to admit to feeling differently to the rest of the crowd / the advertisers.

New York City

@LeafOfTruth

Anything involving a spa. Spa Days honestly sound like torture days, to me.

If someone gave me the option of a spa day or a day cleaning the fat out the sewers, I'd take the latter

Cleaning the fat out of the sewers could probably be used as a euphemism for me going to a detox spa

@furbabymama87

Christmas dinner. Look forward to it for ages, spend ages making it. By the time it's ready, you've been picking at bits of it and are sick of the sight of it and can't eat much of it.

This has made me laugh ! So true.

Covid and lockdowns etc really made me evaluate what I spend and have massively changed - now cut and colour my own hair looks just as nice and always get compliments, cut down going to the cinema, cut down eating out - never as nice as I can do - yes go out to socialise but the habit of just going out to eat out with one other not really. Same with clothes - so many clothes unworn and boots etc - last winter during the 5 month lockdown lived in athleisure so just do not need anything new.

And I will add
Costas/Starbucks
Baths
Manicures and pedicures
I do not like anything from Greggs
Yes spa days are a waste of money and tiresome and not relaxing

Gin and tonic

Early morning exercise (especially running, no thanks)

Baths.

Have to agree with naps too. They make the tiredness worse

Country Fairs. Always the same pointless stalls selling overpriced crafts that no one wants and olives that cost £10 for 50g. In my house we now just do a visualisation exercise when someone suggests going to something similar (having momentarily forgotten how awful they are)….

Close your eyes. Imagine all the stalls. Transport yourself there. Breathe. And open your eyes. It’s just like the real thing and saves us money as the visualisation reminds us why it’s a bad idea to ever go to these events again.

Cycle ride as a family.

You see the 'centre parc' posters where everyone is smiling and happy. In reality I'm knackered, the kids are arguing over who goes in front and my dh is riding round in circles waiting for everyone

Hairdressers…absolutely hate it !
Dinner Parties…shudder!

Afternoon tea

A long and multi step skincare regime. Feels like a chore and my skin is worse for it.

Alcohol in the sun. Instant headache.

Naps on a day off. Feel groggy and like you’ve wasted a day.

Making a lasagne. It’s a complete faff and a nice ready made one is fine, for the small amount of times it features in our menu plan.

@JesusInTheCabbageVan

Martinis. I suspect that only about 3% of people who order them actually like them.

I bloody love them. But I make my own at home because bars both overcharge and rarely make them properly.

I like this thread a lot. I will say yes to breakfast in bed - it just isn't a treat.

A gift of cosmetics that I have not specifically asked for.

Anything that is prefaced with "Romantic". A "romantic shopping trip", a romantic dinner, a romantic walk. No way, it's too much pressure. Although it does stop people you don't want from joining you.

Anything that I have been told that I will definitely enjoy. I am now firmly middle aged, I know that I don't like fairground rides, horse riding, going shopping with a friend as a leisure activity. I am not even slightly unsure about these things.

Cheese on toast.
First bite is delicious, feel a bit nauseous after the next few.

Fish and chips - as above.

Date night.
I would prefer to be watching Netflix on my laptop with headphones on. 😬

Also, anything that is prefaced with "family". A "family bike ride", "family camping trip", "family supermarket trip" is one that someone else doesn't want anyone to wriggle out of.

In my PJs

BBQs.
Hot, smelly, questionable hygiene, flies, wasps...

• Gigs: I loathe crowded places but love live music. It's a bind.

• Adult 'play' venues: like those darts or golf-themed places in London that cost an absolute fortune, water down their alcohol and basically make you feel utterly ripped off

• Going on holiday: the 'airport experience': funnelled through Duty Free in order to get you in front of all those overpriced retailers and food & drink outlets, the expectation that I'll just roll over and go hell for leather spending loads of cash makes me want to write to the airport operator and threaten to kill their kid's pet rabbit. Ditto being constantly audibly assaulted once on the plane to buy food, drink, f*cking raffle tickets or anything else. This is why I need to be rich enough to afford my own plane.

• Going out for dinner with a big group of people. No-one ends up happy or satisfied entirely with their choice of food, someone always resorts to moaning and that makes me wish they hadn't come. Ditto fussy eaters in the same scenario; for fck's sake, just move the mushy peas aside, you annoying prck!

• Going on holiday with a big group of people. Whether friends or family, for the same reason given above, really. There's always one or two proper moaners/whiners in the group for whom nothing is good enough.

• Musical theatre: I am not built for dealing with that level of over-acted, over-polished, over-blown.... everything.

Taking DC swimming when they were little!
So much faff.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I’ll add baths- I get hot and bothered and want to haul myself out, but feel guilty about all the water so miserably force myself to sit there with a face mask on until the acceptable point where I think it’s ok to waste all the water down the plug hole.

I'm always weird about those. When I lived on my own I'd light the candles, put some music on, drink at hand...and two seconds later I would want to be out. But then there are the times I get in for a quick dip and the water is just the right temperature and I am still there an hour or more later (with water top ups)!

@RantyAunty

Marriage

Sex in a sex pond

Going to the hairdresser. Lying back at the sink is torture. Sitting under a hair dryer is torture.

What is a sex pond?!?!?!