Or is the competitive under eating on mumsnet harmful?

[foreverlobsters]

Full disclaimer- I have a history of eating disorders myself so am possibly over sensitive to this.

Have been reading through another currently active thread as well as what we eat in a day etc (which I occasionally post on and do find interesting). Why do people feel the need to post about their extremely low calorie days on here, or give potentially harmful advice? What's the incentive exactly- and are these people lying about how much they really eat or is most of the mumsnet population in an extreme calorie deficit? Do these people not see how selfish and damaging these posts can be?

@burritofan

I’ve just learned that Europeans shouldn’t eat bananas as we haven’t evolved to eat tropical fruit .

Stay away from the threads!

😂😂😂

It reminds me of girls at school who used to say that eating a whole Mars bar was too much for them and made them feel sick. Yeah right! I could have eaten an entire multipack of Mars bars when I was a teenager and still had room for dinner.

I just assume the undereaters are lying as much as the overeaters. In fact, when it comes to competitive eating or cooking or the virtuous who never have crap, junk food or a takeaway, again, I assume they are lying.

When I worked in public health I worked with people with food issues. The point is, they are generally lying about what they are and aren't eating.

Yes, it's harmful and tedious. As are the low carb zealots.

The ones I hate is where the poster says I’m 5’4 and 9.5 st and people just can’t wait to pile on patronisingly- you can hear the head tilts…

Well if you feel ok o/p, i’m taller than that and 8st, i’d just feel flabby at 9st…

@Comedycook

I once read a post where the poster said they found fruit so sweet they could only manage to eat a piece once every couple of months. That really shocked me

What shocked and alarmed me was a poster saying they felt “chubby” at a BMI of 18.5.

@Ozanj

Seriously? I never actually knew that. I have just done a quick calorie counter thing and for my weight and height I should be eating more like 1700 calories to maintain and more like 1400 to lose.

I think I probs do eat closer to 1700 if I am not actively tracking on my fitness pal.

Interesting.

I have learned something. Thank you.

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks thjs. And agree with others that topics on other harmful behaviours wouldn't be left unmoderated- if makes me feel quite angry really.

I feel that people on here saying 'but I only need to eat x calories otherwise I gain weight' are massively missing the point of the thread.

@Nomoreusernames1244

The ones I hate is where the poster says I’m 5’4 and 9.5 st and people just can’t wait to pile on patronisingly- you can hear the head tilts…

Well if you feel ok o/p, i’m taller than that and 8st, i’d just feel flabby at 9st…

A few of those threads have gotten to me and I am usually secure in my (perfectly healthy)weight. People who are my height but 1.5stones lighter insisting that they look flabby have made me stop and think fuck me am I deluding myself when I look in the mirror?

@Gorl

Mumsnet is terrible for fat shaming and promoting disordered eating. I think it’s something MNHQ should make more of an effort to combat it tbh.

I agree fully that there's a huge responsibility on the part of a site this size where do frequently such hideously ill advised food nutritional advice is given out. Some awful approaches presented as normal are exceptionally damaging.

YANBU.

The irresponsible competitive undereating, showing off about being skinny is terrible. I feel sorry for their children.

Also posters you can tell, live for such threads where they can pounce and lecture people into never having a sweet treat, just be joyless about food.

As for the boasting of having a 6ft+ (they're always 6ft+) strapping sporty hollow-legged son with a huge appetite yet he is thin as a lathe...

You shouldn't read the threads really, but I imagine there's temptation to read, as they're related to food. I've stopped reading them. I was upset by a thread about a 3 year old, OP was asking for advice on DDs diet. & Some replies were truly awful, relating to calorie counting and strict dieting. For a 3 year old!

Honestly, stop reading them. They are a minefield of disordered eating and it'll do you no good to engage.

I have seen people on this thread criticising lentils before as being "too carby".

Site that should say, not thread!

Yanbu - I also have a history of disordered eating and inwardly cringe every time some one announces they’re on 1200 calories

I agree all dieting/losing weight threads are very triggering.

That said, I have a massively sedentary lifestyle, struggle to exercise, and love delicious food, but about 1200 calories is all I can eat as an 50 year old and maintain my weight. It's just not the same as when you are younger, and that's why a lot of the advice is really irrelevant, as it's not tailored to people's height, their activity levels, how old they are/if they've gone through the menopause or whether they have harmful beliefs about eating. Eating too many calories for your expenditure is a sure way to put on weight. Understanding this has allowed me to lose a stone or two, become much more supple and active, and provides a way forward for my over 50's body.

I don't think posting about this should be stopped, but I do agree it's a nightmare for anyone with ED as the advice the overweight need is really not appropriate for many other people.

I found the thread it's ridiculous!

Someone thinks humans should naturally get all their fluids from foods. And our ancestors didn't drink water.

Mind boggling.

Irs the opposite for me, it’s the competitive over eating I find uncomfortable . I recall someone posting that six donuts were a portion and urging the poster to eat them. Someone else posting about how they buy a loaf or a chicken and eat it in the supermarket car park. Someone posted the other day their after supper picky bit was a baguette and melted cheese. People posting like they are literally drooling about all the food they’d want to eat

I see a handful of posts under eating but I also see a lot of posts saying that if you don’t want to ram a family sized bar of chocolate down your neck you’re competitive under eating

The truth is there is sixteen million people on here, and you will see all extremes.

@Atalune

I honestly don’t understand the problem with eating 1300-500 calories everyday to maintain a slim weight?

I DO watch what I eat and exercise I don’t smoke. I don’t eat lots of sweets or snacks

What’s the problem?

I’m 5’4 and slim. I know when I have overindulged based on how my jeans fit!

Because EVERYONE burns more calories than that per day, even if they do no exercise. So calories that are so low wouldn't 'maintain a healthy weight' it would cause weight to fall.

I read one thread where people were having a go at someone’s who’s dd preferred reading to exercise. She was told numerous times that she should be forcing her daughter to become sporty and do more exercise as reading was a sedentary habit and should be limited.

When did reading become a bad thing?😰

@OnwardsAndSideways1

Yanbu - I also have a history of disordered eating and inwardly cringe every time some one announces they’re on 1200 calories

I agree all dieting/losing weight threads are very triggering.

That said, I have a massively sedentary lifestyle, struggle to exercise, and love delicious food, but about 1200 calories is all I can eat as an 50 year old and maintain my weight. It's just not the same as when you are younger, and that's why a lot of the advice is really irrelevant, as it's not tailored to people's height, their activity levels, how old they are/if they've gone through the menopause or whether they have harmful beliefs about eating. Eating too many calories for your expenditure is a sure way to put on weight. Understanding this has allowed me to lose a stone or two, become much more supple and active, and provides a way forward for my over 50's body.

I don't think posting about this should be stopped, but I do agree it's a nightmare for anyone with ED as the advice the overweight need is really not appropriate for many other people.

I can believe this- although I personally never stated a set number of calories in any of my posts.

You're right as well in the latter part of your post. I would add as well that it's hard to moderate a topic such as food when we all need it, and yes, some people do genuinely need to eat less for their health. But that doesn't mean MNHQ shouldn't at least try to moderate out some of the obviously harmful posts.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I read one thread where people were having a go at someone’s who’s dd preferred reading to exercise. She was told numerous times that she should be forcing her daughter to become sporty and do more exercise as reading was a sedentary habit and should be limited.

When did reading become a bad thing?😰

I know a lot of middle class parents to whom being active is an absolute obsession and very much part of their middle class credentials and superiority

Yes the grapefruit for breakfast, salad for lunch and cheese and crackers for supper people!

@Nonicknamesforcatapillars

I’m always amazed by the under eating that goes on on mumsnet. It’s almost as if it’s some sort of competition.

I’ve made a mental note not to every post a good thread. One poster asked about her toddlers perfectly normal and acceptable diet and she was torn to shreds!! You’d think she’d been feeding the child mcdonnalds and ben and Jerry’s, mixed with lard, for every meal if you went by some of the comments!

I don’t recall this particular thread but I imagine the responses went something like

Why is she having fruit twice per day? You may as well give her a bag of haribo if she’s having a banana.

You need to add more protein.

Tomato pasta is basically just sugar and carbs it is no different to a fairy cake.

Anyway, I think if you have trouble with these threads best to avoid. I do think some of the ‘advice’ given is massively out of touch, including stuff like ‘you need to eat more that’s why you’re gaining weight’ and ‘you just need to do keto.’ It’s often not promoting a healthy lifestyle but I can see how people get there because losing weight feels never ending and you’re desperate for some quick results.

@NumberTheory

I find a lot of "official" messaging over calories in particular really difficult. I'm short and seem to have a slow metabolism. The "average" recommendations would have me gaining a lot of wait.

Even when I was 15 years younger and very active, walking everywhere and running 25+ miles a week for fun, I didn't need the 2,000 calories a day that the government suggests is 'average' for a woman in order to remain right at the top of my recommended weight range.

Nowadays, older and not very active, I need about 1000 calories a day to maintain my weight. I'm currently much, much heavier than recommended, so if I wanted to lose, given I have injuries that make exercise difficult, I'm not seeing how I'd do that without cutting those calories down significantly. Would that be disordered eating? Or is the eating more than a 1000 calories a day and putting on weight that risks my health disordered?

This is so wrong. Everybody burns at least 1500 calories even if they're in a bloody coma. If you think you're eating 1000 calories a day you're not counting them properly. Why don't people understand the actual science of how their bodies work?

Im trying to loose weight and and doing it slowly doing intermittent fasting and 1200 a day...im still 11 stone but i am 43 and don't want to pile on the wright and it leads to joint issues.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

I read one thread where people were having a go at someone’s who’s dd preferred reading to exercise. She was told numerous times that she should be forcing her daughter to become sporty and do more exercise as reading was a sedentary habit and should be limited.

When did reading become a bad thing?😰

I don’t think reading should be limited but there should definitely be a balance. So many kids I know just do not get enough exercise and spend too much time indoors playing video games/reading/playing with toys.

I love to read and my kids read a lot but I would always encourage sports or even just outdoor play as an everyday activity.