Husband not flushing the toilet. AIBU?

[SchoolGossipWoes]

My husband never flushes the (downstairs) toilet at night. This results in a pan-full of very smelly urine in the morning (he usually stays up later than me and does a few wees in there before coming to bed). It's truly disgusting and he won't stop doing it.
I got home from school and grocery run this morning (at around 10am) and as I walked past the downstairs toilet door, the smell hit me. The smell inside was horrific! (not envy)
His reasons for not flushing range from not wanting to wake the children (it doesn't) to just "forgetting".
Please help mumsnetters, AIBU to find this disgusting and if so what can I do to make him stop doing this?

There are people on this thread smugly justifying leaving piss in the toilet for other people to find on the basis that it helps prevent climate change who I guarantee still eat meat and drive cars.

Stop being disgusting, flush the toilet, and go vegetarian.

@Gorl

There are people on this thread smugly justifying leaving piss in the toilet for other people to find on the basis that it helps prevent climate change who I guarantee still eat meat and drive cars.

Stop being disgusting, flush the toilet, and go vegetarian.

I don't eat meat or drive a car.

Do you find yourself invited back to other people’s homes…? Because if you left an unflushed wee for the next person that would be your last warm welcome from me
Frequently, yes! Good chance I'll be up first to flush anyway but it's really not that unusual to not flush every wee and many other posters have said.

@Deadringer

I am curious, are the posters who don't flush their toilets much the same ones who give their children a bath every day, and who's washing machines are constantly on?

3 possibly 4 loads a week. Try not to tumble dry and no one in the house showers everyday.

@Deadringer

I am curious, are the posters who don't flush their toilets much the same ones who give their children a bath every day, and who's washing machines are constantly on?

Nope. Sorry to ruin your narrative, but you carry on.

Another non-flusher here - it's a really easy 'eco swap' that shouldn't cause any problems. Most wee doesn't smell.

Obviously if his wee smells he should flush it.

The flushing isn't really the issue, is it? He blatantly disregards your feelings and comfort.

You're in an unusual living arrangement with a man who is acting like a teenager. Staying up late, failing to look after himself suggest that he might be depressed. He really needs to see a GP about all his issues.

YANBU. Put a big sign in there saying Flush after every use

And to those of you who don’t flush, just disgusting

I hope you don’t all drink almond milk!

It takes 3,045 gallons of water to produce a half gallon of almond milk. That’s 1,903 flushes!

In a bid to be more environmentally friendly “If it’s yellow, let it mellow”. However if it smells, then that’s unreasonable and he needs to drink more water and/or flush more often.

There's nothing wrong with showering everyday. Sometimes twice. It depends on how much you sweat etc.

Looking after the environment isn't at all or nothing thing is it? As Tesco say, every little helps. Do the things you can, don't do the things you can't. But certainly, don't do nothing on the basis that as you can't do it all, you might as well do nothing.

I'm on a meter, I've done a quick calculation, and I reckon the cost of flushing is 1.6p per flush. (50 pound a month water bill, 5 litre flush, household consumption of 517 litres per day, last time I checked.)

Failing to flush would not be worthwhile, for me.

@arethereanyleftatall

Looking after the environment isn't at all or nothing thing is it? As Tesco say, every little helps. Do the things you can, don't do the things you can't. But certainly, don't do nothing on the basis that as you can't do it all, you might as well do nothing.

Was just about to say something similar!

Plus most people are now on a water metre, so there’s financial benefit too.

I can never understand why people get so worked up about what other people do/don’t do on MN. Why does it bother you if someone else doesn’t flush their wees in their own home?!

My family take the if its yellow let it mellow to the extreme and i also hate the smell.

Im not sure if it really helps the environment as it makes it hard to clean the loo so i use more chemicals.

@arethereanyleftatall

Looking after the environment isn't at all or nothing thing is it? As Tesco say, every little helps. Do the things you can, don't do the things you can't. But certainly, don't do nothing on the basis that as you can't do it all, you might as well do nothing.

Exactly! Sadly, not everyone thinks like this.

3 possibly 4 loads a week. Try not to tumble dry and no one in the house showers everyday.

I live alone, do one load a week and shower once a day. I also work away from home in the day. So I'll keep flushing my wees, thanks, and ignore the competitive climate saving that people are falling over themselves to do.

We all do our bit, being dramatic about the world ending doesn't make a difference to me.

The eNvIrOnMeNt is also used in these type of threads to justify not washing/showering regularly.

Men's urine, left to smoulder overnight, is rank by morning! He doesn't have to flush every wee, does, he? Just the last one before going to bed. Why not put a post-it on his door each night when you turn in that says. "Have you flushed?" He can't claim he forgot then.

And while we're at it, where does he get off telling you what you can and can't smell?! Everyone knows women have a different sense of smell to men. Does he tell you what you can see, hear, feel and taste as well?

He needs to give his head a good wobble, in time-honoured MN fashion.

@MolyHolyGuacamole

3 possibly 4 loads a week. Try not to tumble dry and no one in the house showers everyday.

I live alone, do one load a week and shower once a day. I also work away from home in the day. So I'll keep flushing my wees, thanks, and ignore the competitive climate saving that people are falling over themselves to do.

We all do our bit, being dramatic about the world ending doesn't make a difference to me.

Meh what you do doesn't bother me in the slightest. So what I do shouldn't bother anyone else either

To satisfy the environmentalists (and of course we all should be) why not fill a plastic litre jug with grey water from the washing up on the cistern each night? He can tip that down and solve the sound, smell and eco issues in one easy move.

I bet he won't. He's scent marking his territory.

@boxonthehill

The bigger question is why does his wee stink? We dont flush at nighttime. I don't flush during the day if it's just me here. I think it's a huge waste of water.

But my wee doesn't smell

Out of interest when do you flush? As in after how many wees? Don't you end up with a fair bit of toilet paper in the toilet by the time you've been a times and not flushed? I wouldn't mind leaving a couple of wees, but if I left a whole day's worth I'd be a bit concerned about blocking the toilet with too much paper.

Fill the jug in the sink and leave it ready for him on the cistern, I mean!

@RichardMarxisinnocent first thing in the morning and then when I finish work around half 4. I only use a tiny bit of loo roll. It's normally about 4 wees in the day. When I finish I clean the kitchen, litter trays and loos every day. No wee smells.

@NewlyGranny

Fill the jug in the sink and leave it ready for him on the cistern, I mean!

This is one option but he is supposedly a grown, responsible adult. He's quite capable for cleaning up after emptying his bladder and shouldn't need such pussyfooting

Jeeze, do these minging men have pneumatic cocks or something, because I can see fech all attractive about how they are.