Husband not flushing the toilet. AIBU?

[SchoolGossipWoes]

My husband never flushes the (downstairs) toilet at night. This results in a pan-full of very smelly urine in the morning (he usually stays up later than me and does a few wees in there before coming to bed). It's truly disgusting and he won't stop doing it.
I got home from school and grocery run this morning (at around 10am) and as I walked past the downstairs toilet door, the smell hit me. The smell inside was horrific! (not envy)
His reasons for not flushing range from not wanting to wake the children (it doesn't) to just "forgetting".
Please help mumsnetters, AIBU to find this disgusting and if so what can I do to make him stop doing this?

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

@TableFlowerss

Oh no! you given him another excuse now. He's not flushing the toilet in order to help humanity survive!

[grapewine]

@EatYourVegetables

Jeez, the men of MN keep hitting a new low every day…

My thought exactly. YANBU, OP.

[whynotwhatknot]

We dont flush everytime we wee also plumbing is very noisy -but it does sound like hes dehydrated

wouldnt hurt to flush once before he goes tgo bed though

[AdmiralCain]

If it's Yellow let it Mellow, If it's Brown, flush it down!

[grapewine]

On the negative (aside from the smelly wee)... he is a bit messy around the house, not good at basic things like putting things away or putting rubbish in the bin. He currently has his own bedroom, as he has a severe snoring issue, and his room is just a pit. He takes food up to bed and doesn't tidy up after himself. Dirty laundry on the floor, etc. I have taken to just closing the door to that room and trying to pretend it doesn't exist. But the smelly wee thing can't be ignored, as it's in a room I need to use on a daily basis.

Sounds like you're living with an overgrown teenager.

[notacooldad]

He doesn't forget, he's doing it on purpose. He's disgusting and has no respect for you How is he in other ways, does he do his share of parenting and housework?
Is this a copy and paste answer to all problems that involve a husband!🤣🤣
My response to a Dh doing that would be 'you dirty stinking git, who wants to smell your stale pee!!! And while we are talking about your wee, drink more water you stink rat!!
Only you Op would know how your Dh would handle that outburst but I wouldn't want to be facing that every morning!

[EL8888]

@grapewine yep sounds like my brother when he was a teenager. Total pain to live with

[MasterBeth]

Rank.

And the climate crisis is driven by our reliance on fossil fuels, meat production and capitalist growth mentality, not flushing the toilet when we’ve had a piss.

[arethereanyleftatall]

We don't flush wees in our house. Horrendous waste of water, so bad for the environment to use chemically cleaned water so gratuitiously. It's 10 litres of water per flush.
The fact that it smells is the problem.

[LST]

@MasterBeth

Rank.

And the climate crisis is driven by our reliance on fossil fuels, meat production and capitalist growth mentality, not flushing the toilet when we’ve had a piss.

Doesn't help though.. and it also saves money

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

I agree it's gross but I'm sure there'll be those coming along soon talking about how great it is for the environment to only flush poos.

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

@MolyHolyGuacamole

I agree it's gross but I'm sure there'll be those coming along soon talking about how great it is for the environment to only flush poos.

I'll correct myself, the climate martyrs are already out in full force

[boxonthehill]

The bigger question is why does his wee stink? We dont flush at nighttime. I don't flush during the day if it's just me here. I think it's a huge waste of water.

But my wee doesn't smell

[boxonthehill]

I just read the update re his bedroom. He sounds like a teenager. Yuk

[TableFlowerss]

[quote TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]@TableFlowerss

Oh no! you given him another excuse now. He's not flushing the toilet in order to help humanity survive![/quote]
Regardless of his intentions, he is helping 😂

[Morechocolatethanbarbara]

Ask him to go to his GP:

He has dehydration issues
Memory loss
Snoring problem

All of these could probably be resolved if he:
Drank more water
Ate healthier
Did more exercise (including picking up after himself & flushing the loo)

But equally there may be something more serious going on (or it could just be laziness).

It may be that he needs a Dr to tell him this rather than his wife so it really hits home.

These issues are only going to get worse with age, he needs to sort them now before they create major health issues.

[TableFlowerss]

I'll correct myself, the climate martyrs are already out in full force


You can only mock it now, because it’s not affecting you directly. 100 years time, with that attitude, there’ll be nothing left of the planet!

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

@TableFlowerss

*I'll correct myself, the climate martyrs are already out in full force*


You can only mock it now, because it’s not affecting you directly. 100 years time, with that attitude, there’ll be nothing left of the planet!

Neither of us would know if it comes to pass or not as we won't be here

[LST]

@MolyHolyGuacamole what a disgusting stance to take.

[Youdoyoutoday]

To be honest, with all us being home, you can't be flushing the toilet every time has a wee, it's honestly such a waste of water. I do clean my toilet every day before anyone starts.

If your husbands wee smells that bad, he really needs to 'flush' his system out or flush the toilet

[Strawbsaturno]

@SchoolGossipWoes

For the PP who asked what he is like in other ways... he is great on the whole really.
He does vast majority of cooking, most grocery shopping and food planning, he also does bedtime for DC2 and often the lion's share of the laundry (he works from home whereas I go out to work). He works full time from home, I work three days out of home. I have a toddler at home with me on my days off.

On the negative (aside from the smelly wee)... he is a bit messy around the house, not good at basic things like putting things away or putting rubbish in the bin. He currently has his own bedroom, as he has a severe snoring issue, and his room is just a pit. He takes food up to bed and doesn't tidy up after himself. Dirty laundry on the floor, etc. I have taken to just closing the door to that room and trying to pretend it doesn't exist. But the smelly wee thing can't be ignored, as it's in a room I need to use on a daily basis.
Wouldn't be so bad if he just got up, flushed it and sprayed some air-freshener... but he never does. It's always me!

I’m sorry but this sounds really unpleasant. I don’t know how you can fix this sorry from kick off and tell him how revolting it is.

[Gorl]

@DappledThings

If it really smells that bad is he dehydrated? We rarely flush wees unless there's a visitor in the house. "If it's yellow let it mellow" etc. Saving water. Don't have a smell issue. And I would never flush overnight, especially in someone else's home. You never know how loud the pipes are going to be!

Do you find yourself invited back to other people’s homes…? Because if you left an unflushed wee for the next person that would be your last warm welcome from me 🤮

[Deadringer]

People who think their piss doesn't smell are delusional. Anyway the op's dh's certainly does so the point is moot, he needs to fucking flush. Yanbu

[Strawbsaturno]

I also think male wee smells stronger than female wee. My DS17 sometimes leaves his wee in the loo and he gets brought back to flush it, it honks.

[Deadringer]

I am curious, are the posters who don't flush their toilets much the same ones who give their children a bath every day, and who's washing machines are constantly on?