To think Emma Raducanu puts the puts MNetters to shame

[SaturdaySpread]

MN has often made me feel inadequate as a parent, what with all the sporting, musical and academic achievements and perfectly behaved children, while my DC are nice enough but decidedly average

But come on, you're going to have to up your game. A* (Maths!) and A at Alevel and a Grand Slam in the space of 3 months. And seemingly lovely manners too.

Obviously I'm only playing, but just how?!

DD packed tennis lessons in this month, she is 14 and didn't really enjoy it anymore.

I felt a little bit sad for her. She said she had spoken to her dad and his response was, "better than I thought". She also said he is very hard to please but she thinks she did it today.

As others have said this was taken out of context. However my dh used to say similar things when our teenage DDs’ ever achieved something. “That’s great, I’m really proud but you need to keep going, don’t fuck it up now”.
.

I once told my Dad I'd scored 99% in a science test and he wanted to know what I'd got wrong.

I’ve never understood people who grandstand off the achievements of their children. Surely they are the child’s achievements and not that of their parents? The truth is, those who are very high achievers are because of their personal drive to be so. Parents can facilitate that, but you can’t make a child achieve if they don’t want to, no matter how hard you try. You can hot house and force but eventually they will rebel and turn against you.

She’ll have peaked by 30

Or perhaps she'll be the next Roger Federer and continue to win major titles into her late 30s. What an unkind comment!

Does it matter if she has peaked by 30? Given the chance to have a career that can set you up for life and retire at 30....

@SanFranBear

She’ll have peaked by 30

Or perhaps she'll be the next Roger Federer and continue to win major titles into her late 30s. What an unkind comment!

People do seem to rush in with the negative.

Re parent involvement yes it helps but it’s still majority her will and talent.

The thing is, you are assuming Emma's parents are responsible for her talent OP tut tut. I live with 18 year old DS who on paper should be a shitshow. I conceived him at 23, from a one night stand, his dad hasn't really been on the scene and I had loads of shit go on when he was 3-13 with a DV marriage so my parenting wasn't top notch. He has just got an A*, A and C at A Levels, a record contract and a scholarship to do a degree in music at university after his gap year touring. He has not put down the guitar since the age of 10 and never stopped singing since being a toddler. It's like me breathing. He is driven to play instruments. He picks them up and plays them.

I also have a 14 year old and a 10 year old who eat their own bogies no matter how many times I berate them. DS1's success and achievements are his, I can't really claim anything for it apart from not moaning about the noise and sharing my excellent taste in 90's indie

@LuchiMangsho

My dad said the same when I won a huge international scholarship. He said: hmm not bad. Of course he was very proud. But my parents (also Asian) weren’t pushy. They always wanted me to have some perspective. I am the same with my children.

My DD's best friend is Asian and her parents always joke about the Asian parental grading scale regarding school results:

A - average
B - bad
C - catastrophic
D - disowned
F - forgotten forever

@Dentistlakes

I’ve never understood people who grandstand off the achievements of their children. Surely they are the child’s achievements and not that of their parents? The truth is, those who are very high achievers are because of their personal drive to be so. Parents can facilitate that, but you can’t make a child achieve if they don’t want to, no matter how hard you try. You can hot house and force but eventually they will rebel and turn against you.

As mentioned before- elite sports very often requires a HUGE deal of family support and missing out on normal things like holidays or family days due to the massive time and money commitment often required. Families can spend thousands and travel miles to support their child to achieve their dreams. Siblings might have to sacrifice their time or parent etc too. Many elite athletes have to move away from home at a young age to follow their dreams too if they do t happen to live near an elite training academy or centre.

So it makes perfect sense for parents to be proud and take some part in the success of their child.

A lot of immigrant parents, not just Asians, drove their children to success often beyond the realms of what is possible in some cases given the little resources they (parents) actually have. Emma is clearly naturally gifted, driven parents and plenty of resources is a winning combination.

@legoriakelne my whole point was that anyone can achieve greatness. Quit the WhatAboutIsm

[quote Rivermonsters]@legoriakelne my whole point was that anyone can achieve greatness. Quit the WhatAboutIsm[/quote]
You still need the natural talent. There’s no shortage of aspiring people in any category

It does make you feel a bit shit as a parent when you see an exceptional teenager winning a tournament like that and pocketing $2.5m when one of my own similarly aged and also grammar schooled teens has done nothing all day except sleep, film Tiktoks and watch Hamilton for the 100th time.

@MarshaBradyo depends on what your goals are, I wasn’t specifically talking about playing sports. But the self victimisers on my case 👀

[quote Rivermonsters]@MarshaBradyo depends on what your goals are, I wasn’t specifically talking about playing sports. But the self victimisers on my case 👀[/quote]
I honestly don’t think anyone can achieve greatness.

It’s hard and rare in lots of cases not just sports.

Still good to try though and lots to be said for just being good at something and enjoying doing it

@SaturdaySpread

Does it matter if she has peaked by 30? Given the chance to have a career that can set you up for life and retire at 30....

Wasn’t meant unkindly. It’s not sport for fun though is it, it’s a career and not one that goes on that long.

She is obviously academic as well. Be interesting to see what she does afterwards was what I said and meant. Nothing negative about it at all.

As long as my kids are happy, content and decent people, I couldn’t give a fuck what they ‘achieve’.

@SafeMove: your DS sounds amazing, well done to you both.

Those are massive achievements.

Now you just have to hope that bogey-eating becomes an Olympic event.

@DottyHarmer
Nobody is being mealy mouthed. She herself has acknowledged how driven her parents are and the huge part they’ve played in her success. Acknowledging that doesn’t lessen her achievement - it just adds some context to it. And it makes for interesting discussion.
If anything is “unpleasant” it is your judgemental comment.

SafeMove
I bloody love your post

#Safemove, many very successful people come from single mother upbringings, i think perhaps you have more to do with it than you think, a bit of adversity can be the spur

[quote Cam77]@SaturdaySpread
She went to a state school though, albeit a grammar
Yes, she did. But she also had (I’ll repeat here) ...clever and rich parents who had the desire, resources and knowledge to push her hard to achieve from a young age. 😀 Plenty of wealthy and ambitious/driven parents send their kids to state school.[/quote]
However pushy your parents, all the money in the world doesn't buy you the right physique and phenomenal talent. Nor will it give you the single-minded grit, resolve, drive, ambition and determination to succeed at the highest level.

@SafeMove well done to your son, that is brilliant! I hope life has been better for you the last five years.

Thanks @LakieLady. If bogie eating did get into the Olympics DC2&3 would be gold medallists.

@Threewheeler1 @Macncheeseballs thanks for being nice. But DS is definitely in spite of me, not because of me! He is great though and I love watching him on stage.