To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

[DoormatBob]

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

As a parent who has an underlying bowel problem I understand your plight. Though she is only 3 I would sit down and explain to her how dangerous that her actions could have been and that if she wants to go out with you again to that particular park then she has to promise you that she will listen to you with the promise from you that if she doesn't listen then you will just get back in the car and go home. And stick to it. Of course it would be rubbish to go back home after the long travel but you have to teach her that her actions have consequences. Anything could have gone wrong. You clearly understand that what happened was wrong and all the things that could have happened so take it as a lesson to learn from. If you give a child an inch then they will take a mile. Nothing bad happened this time so stop beating yourself up over it and make sure that next time it doesn't happen.

I wouldn’t of done it. Mailing a child wait and dealing with a tantrum is better then missing them forever. Wishing you didn’t let them go of on their own.

Making

@WorraLiberty

She would've been straight back out the park gates before her bum touched the slide if she did that to me.

'Independence' and 'confidence' don't come into it. She's 3 years old for goodness sake.

Absolutely.

Goodness.No.and no again.It takes just a few seconds to take a child.

Can't even believe you are asking😲

If my DD did that I would have gone after her, brought her back to the cubicle and we would have been going straight home afterwards. Running away from the grown up in charge when out in public is an absolute no no and an immediate end to the activity for me. She's 3, you are the adult, she either listens to you and does as she's asked or she faces a consequence.

When DD and I go to the loo together on days out I make sure she knows that she is not to touch the lock or attempt to open the door until we're both finished. If I think she is a flight risk that day (she's 4, they get giddy and over excited) then I will use the toilet first (less likely to attempt an escape if she needs to go) and then deal with DD. I'm not above restraining her if I have to either. It's my job to keep her safe.

You really dropped the ball on this one, I would work on making sure your DD knows you mean business when you tell her not to do something, you don't need to read her the riot act or shout and scream but you need to be assertive enough to make sure she listens when you need her too.

No, kids need boundaries and at 3 years old they need to listen to the adult.

For goodness sake - perfect learning opportunity about consequences of bad behaviour - back home immediately

I'm a very relaxed Mum, my kids go to the park in our village alone, but I can see them from the back garden and they're well known locally but this is a hard YABU from me!

Ffs she is 3 years old!!!

It takes a second to snatch a small child. So no, I wouldn't have.

I would have dragged her to the loo. Absolutely no bloody way I’d have done this and no way I’d be on here telling people. You could have gone in a bush and made her come with you if needed be. Someone could have abducted her? I’ve brought up two kids alone and never left them in the park alone.

No no no don’t do it again sorry but that made my heart jump out of my chest way too young can be snatched in a second .

Absolutely not a chance. I'd have also taken her straight home for running off.

Mine are a fair bit older than that now.

I clicked the YABU with my judgy pants fully hoiked.

But, if asked did I ever do anything with any of mine that maybe afterwards I questioned as sensible - absolutely. Too many things to count. From leaving in the car seat napping after they'd been awake for hours and nipping into the shop to get essentials, to leaving them in the bath to fetch something/ answer the phone. Then theres the odd ocassion of having more than one drink after they've gone to bed.

Nothing happened to your DC on this ocassion.

I guess the big question is what would you do another time?

No, that's bonkers

I don’t even leave my sausage dog outside! He comes in. It only takes a second.

Totally irresponsible. Have you not heard what happened to Jamie Bulger? Madeleine McCann?

@WorraLiberty

She would've been straight back out the park gates before her bum touched the slide if she did that to me.

'Independence' and 'confidence' don't come into it. She's 3 years old for goodness sake.

Couldn't agree with this any more!!

She's a 3 year old child. You are an adult. She should be doing what you tell her to. I'd have hauled her back into the cubicle and given her a stern talking to. If she doesn't obey you in the confines of the park and gets away with it, what if she decides to run across the road to have a chat with s friend for example? I have 3 children (all different characters) but they learnt early on that I loved them but was in charge. Never had a discipline problem later, and am good friends with them now they are adults.

Good lord shes 3 . Who’s the parent here

@RippleEffects

Mine are a fair bit older than that now.

I clicked the YABU with my judgy pants fully hoiked.

But, if asked did I ever do anything with any of mine that maybe afterwards I questioned as sensible - absolutely. Too many things to count. From leaving in the car seat napping after they'd been awake for hours and nipping into the shop to get essentials, to leaving them in the bath to fetch something/ answer the phone. Then theres the odd ocassion of having more than one drink after they've gone to bed.

Nothing happened to your DC on this ocassion.

I guess the big question is what would you do another time?

What an honest, fair response.

I feel your pain, but it takes only a few seconds for someone to snatch a child so YABU

I would’t have done it. It only take a split second for an accident or worse x