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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 3yo in park whilst going to the loo?

737 replies

DoormatBob · 11/09/2021 21:55

Not sure if this is an AIBU or more WWYD but was at a rural touristy attraction. When we arrived both DD (3, nearly 4) and me needed the loo. DD went then refused to wait for me and ran out to the play area (toilets were within the play area but not staffed/ticketed).

I told her to wait but she said no and was off, told me she was going on the slides as she legged it away! We've been there before so she knows where she's going.

I had to go to the loo and therefore she played in the park for 2 minutes unsupervised.

AIBU
YES - i should have got her back and made her stay with me.
NO - she is OK for 2 mins, she knows where I am.

What would others do? She is very independent and confident but it's just the safety aspect.

OP posts:
Moonbabysmum · 12/09/2021 12:28

I can't believe prior would use reins on a nearly 4yo. A child that if born just a few weeks earlier either be in school now.

And as to the poster who said they can't take their 4&6 yo to the park without a second adult/supervising teenager, I'm flabbergasted if I'm honest.

I don't think the op should have gone back for his pee, but i think some people are far too much the other way.

Cleverpolly3 · 12/09/2021 12:28

@Macncheeseballs

Bloody hell so much perfect parenting going on, he was asking for opinions not a telling off.
No such thing as perfect parenting. You are of course alluding to projection, self promotion and the ubiquitous virtue signalling.

I don’t really see much of that here. I just read most people telling the OP what he did was utterly stupid.

Entirely coincidental that the byproduct of that might make you feel like you’ve done something right as a parent if you’ve never let your three year go walkabout because you needed a piss

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 12:28

nonsensical, even...

Hollowtree3 · 12/09/2021 12:30

No. Not at all.

CheltenhamLady · 12/09/2021 12:32

Never in a million years would I have done that OP. I would also have taken her straight home too.

OhDearMuriel · 12/09/2021 12:34

No way.
Why would you risk something knowing that it could potentially have devastating consequences.

Goldenbear · 12/09/2021 12:35

It was accidental though so the talk of leaving your 3 year old to walk about why you go to the loo is hyperbole, that's not what happened. There is not one way to be a 'good' parent, not resorting to time outs and punitive measures for 3 year olds is not an 'accidental' parental technique!

Goldenbear · 12/09/2021 12:44

I mean making the effort to take your child to particular park attraction an hour away because you know they are going to enjoy it, benefit from it is a an example of being a considerate, good parent. Leaving a child in the house watching cartoons or even just in the house but not interacting with them, is keeping them safe but it is an example of being a pretty rubbish parent if this happens frequently. I am sure many people do not think about taking their 3 year olds to attractions like this as they can't be bothered so I would say this is a blip like all of us have as we are not perfect.

Macncheeseballs · 12/09/2021 12:46

Exactly, no-one is perfect, I can't understand why everyone is getting het up

Cleverpolly3 · 12/09/2021 12:48

@Goldenbear

It was accidental though so the talk of leaving your 3 year old to walk about why you go to the loo is hyperbole, that's not what happened. There is not one way to be a 'good' parent, not resorting to time outs and punitive measures for 3 year olds is not an 'accidental' parental technique!
What was accidental? He made a choice!

The only hyperbole is the garbage about him being an interactive phone avoiding dad and non authoritarian plus the stuff about toilet problems

Cleverpolly3 · 12/09/2021 12:49

@Macncheeseballs

Exactly, no-one is perfect, I can't understand why everyone is getting het up
The OP was that het up (I love that phrase btw) he started a thread about it!
Original poster
DoormatBob · 12/09/2021 12:49

I spent a lot of time going over this, why it happened, why I didn't preempt it or deal with it better. Absolutely no excuses from me.

The only thing I can think with DD (as she isn't badly behaved) is the fact we were already in the play area (portable portacabin toilet block things). DD is not a flight risk and walks perfectly well holding hands or on her own all the time. The only thing here is once you go through the gate at the play area it's always free rein. She told me where she was going as she ran towards it which for us is normal child behaviour in a play area.

OP posts:
Cleverpolly3 · 12/09/2021 12:50

@DoormatBob

I spent a lot of time going over this, why it happened, why I didn't preempt it or deal with it better. Absolutely no excuses from me.

The only thing I can think with DD (as she isn't badly behaved) is the fact we were already in the play area (portable portacabin toilet block things). DD is not a flight risk and walks perfectly well holding hands or on her own all the time. The only thing here is once you go through the gate at the play area it's always free rein. She told me where she was going as she ran towards it which for us is normal child behaviour in a play area.

When supervised
Tailendofsummer · 12/09/2021 12:52

The thing is to make a plan for the future. And to have a talk with her about how she needs to behave the next time you are heading to a park.

Macncheeseballs · 12/09/2021 12:54

Cleverpolly, I would suggest some of the posters have become more het up than the op

Sherrystrull · 12/09/2021 12:54

I think you need to tackle her not doing what you say. She could run away again near a road.

Goldenbear · 12/09/2021 13:02

Of course it was accidental, he didn't plan for her to do this. He didnt inform her that he was going to the loo but she is welcome to go and play on the slides.

Why perceive non-authoriatrian as hyperbole? It may be beyond the dogmatic to think people do things differently to them and have good outcomes but that just makes them feel better about their decisions and doesn't reflect reality which is that you can tackle this creatively.

knobblykneesandturnedouttoes · 12/09/2021 13:04

Did she wash her hands?

HarrisMcCoo · 12/09/2021 13:05

@Moonbabysmum

I can't believe prior would use reins on a nearly 4yo. A child that if born just a few weeks earlier either be in school now.

And as to the poster who said they can't take their 4&6 yo to the park without a second adult/supervising teenager, I'm flabbergasted if I'm honest.

I don't think the op should have gone back for his pee, but i think some people are far too much the other way.

Just thank your lucky stars you don't have a child with additional needs then🤷
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 12/09/2021 13:05

It’s not something I’d do and I advise you not to in future.

FamBae · 12/09/2021 13:09

Please don't beat yourself up about it, it happened and you have learnt from it, that's parenting one huge learning curve, going forward you pee first GrinFlowers

Goldenbear · 12/09/2021 13:09

The OP has just said she is not a 'flight risk' so maybe he assessed the risk in that split second of carrying on using the loo or running after her.

Goldenbear · 12/09/2021 13:10

And it sounds like he is never ever going to do that again.

GreyhoundG1rl · 12/09/2021 13:10

She told me where she was going as she ran towards it which for us is normal child behaviour in a play area.
Of course it is, but you weren't in the play area, you were in the toilet Confused. You wouldn't go off to buy a coffee when she ran off to go on the slide, would you?
You'd be right there with her in sight.

HarrisMcCoo · 12/09/2021 13:25

I agree, unlikely to do it again. No one is perfect, we have all effed up on occasion at parenting.