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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctors can be arseholes sometimes

200 replies

postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 17:53

GP today was a Complete arse and it's left me quite upset.

I requested a repeat prescription for anti depressant and she said am I TTC to which I replied yes.

She then proceeded to tell me that I should suggest going without them so to not harm the potential baby if I do conceive. And that I should try natural methods to improve my mood instead.

I've tried every natural method under the sun for many years, I finally after years of resisting taking anti depressants decided to take the plunge a few weeks ago and have felt like I've got my life back and feel much more positive.

Today has put me on a downer - not only am I struggling TTC but I don't need the gp trying to undo a decision and make me feel guilty for taking anti depressants when I've found them life changing.

Of course I could go without them as that's what I did for many years but I want my quality of life to improving and now I just feel so deflated at the doctors attitude and bluntness and guilt tripping.

She said anti depressants basically should be last resort - so basically I should only use them if TTC if I'm about to top myself?

I'm pissed off and feel shit by this. AIBU to be angry and now not know what to do.

OP posts:
Tlollj · 10/09/2021 17:55

Well if they will harm a potential baby then I don’t see how you can have them.

takehomepay · 10/09/2021 17:56

Surely she’s just trying to reduce risk of complications for any baby you conceive? She’s just doing her job.

CovidCorvid · 10/09/2021 17:56

@Tlollj

Well if they will harm a potential baby then I don’t see how you can have them.
Well I’d say about 20% of pregnant women are on anti depressants of some sort so obviously some are safe.
SoundBar · 10/09/2021 17:57

Sounds like the GP didn't bother reading your full history - or is your past mental health issues not in your notes?

Did you tell the GP this is a last resort and you need to stay on them? GP should work with you rather than be so dismissive.

OctaviaTriangle · 10/09/2021 17:58

I don't see how this makes her an arsehole? It's their job to tell you risks etc and suggest alternatives. You're able to say why this wouldn't suit you but I fail to see what this doctor has done wrong here

Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 17:59

@takehomepay when I asked her what the risks are she said heart conditions the risk can be increased. When I ask her what the statistics are she said she doesn't know?

Also, I appreciate she is telling me the risks but it's the way she said it, I felt it inappropriate. Also - I feel she is undermining mental health.

Also, why talk someone out of medication? You only do that for conditions someone can help - so for example entirely reasonable to tell a type two diabetic to change diet.

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 10/09/2021 17:59

Go back and say you've thought about it, they are in fact a last resort, you've tried everything else, they've been life changing, and will she please help you?

ssd · 10/09/2021 17:59

Where did you get that info @CovidCorvid

Suzi888 · 10/09/2021 18:01

Risk of heart condition to the foetus or you? If it’s the foetus they can’t test that.

Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:02

I just felt like she was being insensitive and now I'm back feeling fucking guilty about my decision to take them in the first place. I started taking them January and stopped after a few weeks because of TTC. After months of turmoil and feeling so bad mentally I took them again. I just didn't need that kind of insensitivity after everything.

Also I can't conceive anyway so it's just pissed me off / I'm faced with these horrible decisions of reducing my quality of life for TTC which is bs anyway and not happening.

I'm just very deflated and angry at her lack of empathy.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 10/09/2021 18:02

Lots of medications have to be reviewed and altered for ttc. Not just ones which are optional. She could have found a kinder way to say it, but there really are some drugs that shouldn't be taken when trying to conceive.

I don't think she was trying to undermine you.

Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:02

@Suzi888

Risk of heart condition to the foetus or you? If it’s the foetus they can’t test that.
To the feotus that's what she said
OP posts:
thefourgp · 10/09/2021 18:02

You’re being over sensitive because of your mental health problems. She’s not judging you or criticising you like you think she is. She has a duty of care to protect your future baby. If it was affected or deformed because of the drugs you’re taking, you’d be calling her a lot worse than an arse.

MadeOfStarStuff · 10/09/2021 18:03

YABU she’s right to make you aware of the potential risks and suggest alternatives

(YANBU to continue taking ADs but it’s right that you can make an informed choice)

Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:03

Basically I could just tell she was very anti - anti depressants for pregnant women.

OP posts:
Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:03

@lunar1

Lots of medications have to be reviewed and altered for ttc. Not just ones which are optional. She could have found a kinder way to say it, but there really are some drugs that shouldn't be taken when trying to conceive.

I don't think she was trying to undermine you.

It's sertraline apparently the safest anti depressants there is
OP posts:
healmebaby · 10/09/2021 18:04

She’s literally doing her job. YAB so U

wonkylegs · 10/09/2021 18:07

I don't think they were an arsehole but they could have been more sensitive in their approach.
The drugs you are taking are a risk factor and it's her job to consider that when prescribing. She was giving you factual information.
I'm on lifelong medication which I need to function everyday (not ads) I had to talk to my drs about it when I was TTC and had to change to a less effective but safer alternative when I was TTC & pregnant.
It wasn't fun, if I could have had another voice I would have taken it and it made pregnancy extra hard but that's the trade off that was necessary if I wanted to have a baby. Pregnancy is quite often a trade off for lots of people with regards to what would be ideal and what is less risky.
My GP & consultant we're good about talking to me about it though, sounds like your GP could have been more sensitive.

giggly · 10/09/2021 18:07

I actually think your being really unfair and ridiculous to call your GP an arsehole.Shock
To think they were only doing their job of advising you if best practice for taking anti depressants while ttc.
Unless you know better evidence op?

HollowTalk · 10/09/2021 18:09

My daughter had a problem with depression and she has found that yoga and running have been the best things to do to combat it. She also watches a lot of inspirational people eg on Ted talks and practises deep breathing exercises to help her in stressful situations. A really good diet helps, too. Have you tried things like that, OP?

giggly · 10/09/2021 18:11

Also meant to say it’s your right to feel pissed off and feel like shit. But that’s not your GP fault is it? Would you have rather been started on/ continued on medication that could cause your fetus harm?

Theworldishard · 10/09/2021 18:12

There ARE antidepressants suitable for pregnant women. What is the Dr and other mumsnetters on about Hmm
It's better to treat the mum with mental health issues than not. That is a fact.
I have had experience of this. I was terribly low during my pregnancy and the consultant kept offering me medication. I said no. They recommended it before the birth so I was in a good place. I declined. Well ..when my son was born it all hit me like a ton of bricks, I had a horrific crisis, severe PND and was on antidepressants when my son was a few days old. I am on them still now nearly two years on. If I were to have another child, I would say on them. I was very mentally unwell during my pregnancy and so much mental anguish could have been helped by taking medication. I now feel bad I left it UNTREATED during my pregnancy..as that isn't good for the developing baby either.
Sertraline is the one recommended but my sister stayed on fluexetine for her whole pregnancy and into breastfeeding. No one told her to stop. In fact they told her NOT to come off them.
That Dr is giving dangerous information. I would complain. It seems her personal views have come into play. So unprofessional.

Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:12

@HollowTalk thank you. I've tried everything. Everything you could possibly think of. And while my depression isn't suicidal it's been making my job and life very difficult and impacting my marriage too.

I've been unhappy for years, daily negative thoughts thinking what's the point. Since taking the anti depressants those feelings have stopped/reduced significantly.

I'm just angry now also at being faced with this dilemma. Of stop taking them and being back to square one or carry on.

I just also think she is being unreasonable / would she tell someone with high blood pressure to stop taking their meds? Or any other condition? It's like she's minimising mental health and it's impacts by talking me out of the meds.

I think that's what I annoyed me that she was talking me out of it - shouldn't she give me pros and cons and leave it there? To talk me out of taking them is not fair.

OP posts:
Original poster
postingfortraffichere · 10/09/2021 18:14

@Theworldishard thank you I completely agree I could tell her personal views were coming into it. I almost felt like she was trying to say to be a mother you should care about your baby enough to do what's right and stop taking the anti depressants.

That was basically what she was saying in a dressed up way.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 10/09/2021 18:14

I just felt like she was being insensitive and now I'm back feeling fucking guilty about my decision to take them in the first place. I started taking them January and stopped after a few weeks because of TTC.

So you agree with her then, or why would you have stopped?

As a PP said, she's doing her job by pointing out the potential risk.