Doctors can be arseholes sometimes

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GP today was a Complete arse and it's left me quite upset.

I requested a repeat prescription for anti depressant and she said am I TTC to which I replied yes.

She then proceeded to tell me that I should suggest going without them so to not harm the potential baby if I do conceive. And that I should try natural methods to improve my mood instead.

I've tried every natural method under the sun for many years, I finally after years of resisting taking anti depressants decided to take the plunge a few weeks ago and have felt like I've got my life back and feel much more positive.

Today has put me on a downer - not only am I struggling TTC but I don't need the gp trying to undo a decision and make me feel guilty for taking anti depressants when I've found them life changing.

Of course I could go without them as that's what I did for many years but I want my quality of life to improving and now I just feel so deflated at the doctors attitude and bluntness and guilt tripping.

She said anti depressants basically should be last resort - so basically I should only use them if TTC if I'm about to top myself?

I'm pissed off and feel shit by this. AIBU to be angry and now not know what to do.

sertraline can increase the risks to unborn babies and if you are TTC would increase the chance of miscarriage so it would obviously be easier to conceive/have a healthy child if you weren’t on them and may be the reason why you are struggling to conceive but depression also isn’t good for pregnant mothers so there are some people who are going to need them through pregnancy. But she does still need to tell you the risks involved even if you have no choice but to take them.

Anti-depressants aren’t meant to be a long term solution though so I can see why she would recommend you trying to come off them before conceiving as depression often gets worse after a baby.

You must complain about this. This is outrageous advice. I am currently on fluoxetine and I am almost 30 weeks pregnant. I spoke to my GP in depth about this and he recommended I stay on the fluoxetine based on our conversation. Pregnancy is a highly emotional time and if u r mentally unwell u are high risk for PND. My gp Then write to the perinatal mental health team so safety advice of the drug etc.

It’s disgraceful to palm u off !

[quote Peridotty]@Theworldishard

**Depression doesn't make you a bad parent

I respectfully disagree, I think depression can make you a bad parent. I have a mother with depression and many people in my family have depression.

This I found from a Canadian mental health website about how to cope with a parent with depression:

www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-parent-is-depressed

Why does my Dad act the way he does? How does it feel to be depressed? What goes on in my Mom's head when she is not herself?
Depression causes people to act in ways that are different from how they act normally.
It can be very hard living with a parent who is depressed because that person may do or say things that make children feel bad or confused.
Most children notice that a parent who is depressed is not as available to do thing with them, like playing, talking, or driving them places.
Depression causes many people to be impatient, to be more irritable, and to get angrier than normal. It can also cause someone to feel sad and cry a lot. These reactions from a parent can be very hard on children.
A person with depression may get tired more easily and spend a lot of time in bed.
Sometimes people who are depressed have trouble concentrating.
People with depression may worry a lot more than normal.
Sometimes people who are depressed have a negative attitude about life, or have low self-confidence.[/quote]
I do agree with that, it can make someone not as responsive as a parent.
I know my PND affected my parenting and if it was not for help from my husband who did most of the childcare, my son would have been badly affected. I still worry he has been, but now I work on myself and on polls, had therapy etc. I try and hide my low days from my son and even if I feel low I still will play with him etc.

YABU

And I also lived with my dad with severe depression, and when my mum died he just slept on the sofa..no food in the fridge etc..it was hard not to feel it was our fault as teenagers. So it can lead to other things like neglect sadly.

I think there are alternative anti depressants which can be taken thru pregnancy I'm surprised this wasn't explored. I've been on them all.

which ond is it?
there are issues with birth defects and learning disabilities associated with valproate.
but other medicines are safe in pregnancy.

YANBU - there is a way to raise things and ways not to and upset your patient.

I have been in ADs since my DS was a few months old and when TTC a few years ago my GP said there can be side effects but a healthy mum is needed too - including mentally healthy.

It sounds like she was pointing out potential risks rather than guilt tripping you. That’s not being an arsehole, that’s doing her job.
Is there another gp you could see instead, who you could maybe discuss alternative pregnancy safe medication with.

I took it throughout my pregnancy and baby was fine. The only thing the gp recommended was to lower the dose which I did.

@Puffinhead I hat dose did you take? I told her I'm only on 25 mcg it's the lowest dose you can get

If you continue on the meds and anything happens to your future baby you can likely sue the doctor for not informing you of the risks and you’d win. She has got to make the risks clear to you then it’s up to you what you do with the information. It’s not personal.

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred I'm not angry she told me the risks I'm angry she was biased with it.

I agree she should tell me the risks but I don't think she should talk me out of taking anti depressants.

Also, I appreciate she is telling me the risks but it's the way she said it, I felt it inappropriate
Telling you the risks of medication is literally part of her job. A major part. You feeling it was "inappropriate" is fully on you, and nothing to do with her.

Oh YABU. She’s doing her job. Wouldn’t you rather be told straight up?

Have a look at the bumps website - medicines inpregnancy.org

Prior to TTC I had a telephone consult with my GP. He talked me through the pros and cons of staying on vs coming off my long-term antidepressants, the evidence etc.
We decided together (and he supported my decision) that me staying on antidepressants was the best option for me, for various reasons. He was really supportive of this decision.
It's an individual decision based on risk vs benefit.

It may also be worth you booking an appointment with a different GP to specifically discuss the use of your AD in pregnancy.

(All of the above I say as a doctor myself)

I'm not angry she told me the risks I'm angry she was biased with it
This makes no actual sense. She can't possibly have been biased.

Sorry you are being unreasonable and too sensitive. She’s doing her job. Anti depressants can seriously harm a baby. She wasn’t biased with you at all you are seriously overthinking things. Maybe see a different doctor in a few weeks.

Sorry you’re going through this OP. And even if the GP was just doing her job, there is a way to do it (husband is a GP and part of the training is having difficult and distressing conversations with empathy and kindness) I really hope it all works out well for you.

@CharlotteRose90

Sorry you are being unreasonable and too sensitive. She’s doing her job. Anti depressants can seriously harm a baby. She wasn’t biased with you at all you are seriously overthinking things. Maybe see a different doctor in a few weeks.

Where is your evidence for antidepressants doing 'seriously harm' . You can't state a huge fact like that with no evidence. It's meaningless.

www.medicinesinpregnancy.org/Medicine--pregnancy/sertraline/

YANBU.

I couldn’t see my usual GP once when I was pregnant and on ADs, the one I did see was a cow and I told her to stay in her lane. My usual GP and I had discussed it at length.

Telling a doctor you'd presumably sought an appointment with to stay in her lane is so Vicky Pollard.