Doctors can be arseholes sometimes

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GP today was a Complete arse and it's left me quite upset.

I requested a repeat prescription for anti depressant and she said am I TTC to which I replied yes.

She then proceeded to tell me that I should suggest going without them so to not harm the potential baby if I do conceive. And that I should try natural methods to improve my mood instead.

I've tried every natural method under the sun for many years, I finally after years of resisting taking anti depressants decided to take the plunge a few weeks ago and have felt like I've got my life back and feel much more positive.

Today has put me on a downer - not only am I struggling TTC but I don't need the gp trying to undo a decision and make me feel guilty for taking anti depressants when I've found them life changing.

Of course I could go without them as that's what I did for many years but I want my quality of life to improving and now I just feel so deflated at the doctors attitude and bluntness and guilt tripping.

She said anti depressants basically should be last resort - so basically I should only use them if TTC if I'm about to top myself?

I'm pissed off and feel shit by this. AIBU to be angry and now not know what to do.

@Tlollj

Well if they will harm a potential baby then I don’t see how you can have them.

Sorry but no..just no. Everything comes with risks. The Dr didn't even know the statistic. It could be 1% chance. When you are suffering mentally you have to think about that.

This is terrible advice from your GP and against the NICE guidelines for antenatal and postnatal mental health. Ask them to consult with your local perinatal mental health team who will advice on what should be done re: your antidepressants

@lunar1

Lots of medications have to be reviewed and altered for ttc. Not just ones which are optional. She could have found a kinder way to say it, but there really are some drugs that shouldn't be taken when trying to conceive.

I don't think she was trying to undermine you.

Yes SOME can't be taken but sertraline has been used with risks. It's not all or nothing.

My doctor said the same about weaning myself off of Sertraline. In the end, we decided no more babies, so didn't need to.

I don't think she's being an asshole. Its her job to let you know the risks. She may not know all the statistics but its up to you to go away and do some research.

With few risks

@Theworldishard that is what got me angry. Higher risk - how much higher? If taking anti depressants means I have 0.0000001 percent chance greater risk then neither here or there is it - the fact she couldn't give me the statistic pissed me off more because it's not giving me opportunity then to even make a logical decision.

She gave no facts - how can she advise something without roughly knowing how greater the risk.

Op I completely understand how you feel. I have had instances with a couple of GP's before for various reasons. They shouldn't of made you feel guilty like that, you clearly have a chemical imbalance that might mean you need to be on antidepressants.
I managed to come off mine before I conceived and luckily I have felt ok, but if I didn't and I still needed them I would 100% be on them. My doctor told me they're perfectly safe during pregnancy, obviously making sure you have the right ones. Sertraline is perfectly safe and I did a lot of research on it at the time.
Could you maybe try speaking to a different doctor? I find some of them at my practice really quite insensitive and others a bit more empathetic.
It doesn't help when you are feeling a bit rubbish anyway. Sending you love

@HollowTalk

My daughter had a problem with depression and she has found that yoga and running have been the best things to do to combat it. She also watches a lot of inspirational people eg on Ted talks and practises deep breathing exercises to help her in stressful situations. A really good diet helps, too. Have you tried things like that, OP?

Sorry but depression cannot always be solved as simply as you.seem it to be. When someone is in crisis, no offence but a good diet isn't going to do very much. Add hormones into low serotonin levels and it can be dangerous for a new mum. There has to be a balance of risk and a mother's mental health deteriorating is dangerous.

@ssd

Where did you get that info *@CovidCorvid*

Anecdotal from 15 years of being a midwife. I’ve just googled and it seems research says the figure is actually around 7%….it feels higher.

Also found the following on nhs website.;

Antidepressants do pass through the placenta to the baby and studies looking at the risk of congenital heart problems have been reassuring in that the associations between the use of antidepressants and the risks of congenital heart defects in the baby are hard to find when other life factors are taken into account. There is no evidence that antidepressants increase rates of miscarriage, preterm birth or low birth weight. However there is evidence that untreated depression and anxiety can increase risks of preterm birth and caesarean section.

So it seems stopping antidepressants does more harm than good. 🤷‍♀️

@Theworldishard that is why I've gone back on them because I felt hormones thrown into my low seratonin in levels I was a post natal depression tragedy waiting to happen.

Stop trying for a baby right now. You shouldn't even be thinking about it from what you've said on here. Do you honestly think your MH is going to get better with the addition of 9 very physically demanding months and then sheer exhaustion for years wjth a relationship under strain already?

Focus on you for at least six months. Get some
Therapy, start a new sport, see friends, get your diet as healthy as possible. Cut out sugar and processed food. Try and improve your mental health with lifestyle approaches on top of your meds and think about the child you want to have snd the mother / family you want to be. The GP was exactly right to point out the not insignificant risks which should be weighed up. There ARE things you can do to help yourself now instead of resenting a medical professional and feeling like you have no control or choice over medication. Perhaps you will need them perhaps you wont/ either way surely the health of your baby is the most important thing?

I just also think she is being unreasonable / would she tell someone with high blood pressure to stop taking their meds? Or any other condition? It's like she's minimising mental health and it's impacts by talking me out of the meds.

I think that's what I annoyed me that she was talking me out of it - shouldn't she give me pros and cons and leave it there? To talk me out of taking them is not fair.

She's not 'talking you out of' anything. She's giving you medical advice. That's literally her job. TTC is a choice. Advising somebody to reconsider the medication they are taking if they want to ttc is not the same as just saying to a diabetic or someone with high bp "Stop taking your meds". In some cases the choice might be either stop taking a particular medication or do not ttc.

@ILoveANameChange

My doctor said the same about weaning myself off of Sertraline. In the end, we decided no more babies, so didn't need to.

I don't think she's being an asshole. Its her job to let you know the risks. She may not know all the statistics but its up to you to go away and do some research.

You’re right it’s her job to let people know the risks….but so they can make an informed choice. So part of her job is knowing the stats. It is not up to people to go away and do the research…..not everyone can do that. Some people won’t understand the research, some people can’t read, can’t speak English.

@cabinfever102 my marriage is not under strain. It was difficult because of my mood swings before the meds. Since the meds I'm a much better person.

Stop TTC what exactly will that resolve?

@cabinfever102

Stop trying for a baby right now. You shouldn't even be thinking about it from what you've said on here. Do you honestly think your MH is going to get better with the addition of 9 very physically demanding months and then sheer exhaustion for years wjth a relationship under strain already?

Focus on you for at least six months. Get some
Therapy, start a new sport, see friends, get your diet as healthy as possible. Cut out sugar and processed food. Try and improve your mental health with lifestyle approaches on top of your meds and think about the child you want to have snd the mother / family you want to be. The GP was exactly right to point out the not insignificant risks which should be weighed up. There ARE things you can do to help yourself now instead of resenting a medical professional and feeling like you have no control or choice over medication. Perhaps you will need them perhaps you wont/ either way surely the health of your baby is the most important thing?

Stop trying for a baby right now. You shouldn't even be thinking about it from what you've said on here. Do you honestly think your MH is going to get better with the addition of 9 very physically demanding months and then sheer exhaustion for years wjth a relationship under strain already?

This is the worst advice I've seen for a long time

Wow. I can't believe how nasty people are being on this thread. Give this poorly lady a break! She feels guilty enough as it is.
Please be kind.

@cabinfever102 and for the record I've had therapy and done all of those things you suggested.

Honestly some people are very ignorant when it comes to mental health it makes me sad.

I agree with the above poster. Get yourself mentally well and strong before trying to have a baby. You have only been on them a few weeks.
I say this as someone who's had depression episodes and also post natal depression twice.

And your GP is not an arsehole

@lolateddy

Wow. I can't believe how nasty people are being on this thread. Give this poorly lady a break! She feels guilty enough as it is. Please be kind.

I agree. Perhaps it's jelousy of the OP. Bitterness about something in their own lives?

@Theworldishard

There ARE antidepressants suitable for pregnant women. What is the Dr and other mumsnetters on about It's better to treat the mum with mental health issues than not. That is a fact. I have had experience of this. I was terribly low during my pregnancy and the consultant kept offering me medication. I said no. They recommended it before the birth so I was in a good place. I declined. Well ..when my son was born it all hit me like a ton of bricks, I had a horrific crisis, severe PND and was on antidepressants when my son was a few days old. I am on them still now nearly two years on. If I were to have another child, I would say on them. I was very mentally unwell during my pregnancy and so much mental anguish could have been helped by taking medication. I now feel bad I left it UNTREATED during my pregnancy..as that isn't good for the developing baby either. Sertraline is the one recommended but my sister stayed on fluexetine for her whole pregnancy and into breastfeeding. No one told her to stop. In fact they told her NOT to come off them. That Dr is giving dangerous information. I would complain. It seems her personal views have come into play. So unprofessional.

THIS!

It's nowhere near as bad as smoking or drinking through pregnancy. You have to think about your health too. If you absolutely can't go without them and nothing else will work for you, take them

@CottonSock

I agree with the above poster. Get yourself mentally well and strong before trying to have a baby. You have only been on them a few weeks. I say this as someone who's had depression episodes and also post natal depression twice.

And your GP is not an arsehole

But mental health issues don't magically disappear. So are you suggesting that mother's can't have babies unless their mental health is perfect. Mental health issues are very common and also lifelong often. So do you never have a child in case you have a bad patch of depression. You yourself had more than one child with depression.

@ILoveANameChange

My doctor said the same about weaning myself off of Sertraline. In the end, we decided no more babies, so didn't need to.

I don't think she's being an asshole. Its her job to let you know the risks. She may not know all the statistics but its up to you to go away and do some research.

Yes, a friend of mine who developed severe pre-natal depression was told the same thing. Generally the people recommended to stay on ADs in pregnancy - are bipolar, severe depression, history of suicidal ideation.

I think this is the kind of thing where GPS and pharmacists can be extremely cautious and hospital doctors much less so. I wasn't on anti depressants but had to take a wide range of meds during pregnancy that consu.tants were fine with. Clearly many women take them whilst pregnant and it is also mitigating the risk of peri and out natal depression.

I looked for a fact sheet I thought this one was entertaining than minds one
www.nbt.nhs.uk/maternity-services/pregnancy/antidepressant-use-during-pregnancy

@CottonSock

I agree with the above poster. Get yourself mentally well and strong before trying to have a baby. You have only been on them a few weeks. I say this as someone who's had depression episodes and also post natal depression twice.

And your GP is not an arsehole

I feel more mentally well than I ever have before.

Because of the meds! So why should I wait - what for??

I'm at an age where I haven't got time to wait. Thank you but I don't understand what waiting is going to do here.