Childminder - is this normal practice?

[JackGrealishsHair]

Just started looking round at childminders locally and it's the first time I've done this. A genuine AIBU to be surprised / shocked by these practices?

For context children are aged from 12 months up to 5 years.

• children sleep on a plastic crashmat on the floor all piled in together. No blankets, no cots for tiny ones, no curtains in the room. This room is also used for soft play. Is this normal practice?

• meals are always dahl and bread. Always vegetarian and lentil based, some variation on the dahl recipe. This is because so many children have different dietary requirements, so its easier. If parents wish child to eat something else eg chicken or vegetables they have to provide those already prepared.

• there are no high chairs available for very young children at meals. They eat in the floor or if they can manage sitting in a small chair.

• nap time is the same for every child regardless of age or routine at home.

• childminder says she will often tell children that they love them and this is healthy because of how close she is with the children.

AIBU to be surprised by these or is it normal?

I wouldn't like that personally, but at least they are open and honest.

Sounds shite and full of excuses about the food to me.

Is this a collective or just one childminder?

I wouldn't feel comfortable with most of that, sounds lazy and uncomfortable.

Food is shit. Declaration of love is weird. Teachers wouldn’t do it. childcare providers shouldn’t do it.

Wouldn’t like any of that.

In nurseries they do sleep on mats on the floor once old enough not to be in cots, but they have space and they have blankets.

Not normal in the slightest.

I'm a childminder (not today) and my home is nothing like that. That's the whole point of childminders though, we all offer different settings and pros/cons. It's your job as a parent to find one that suits and matches you and your child the best.

Good luck.

@GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing

In nurseries they do sleep on mats on the floor once old enough not to be in cots, but they have space and they have blankets.

That's what I thought. But this isn't suitable for a 13 month old for example.

the good (and bad!!) thing about childminders is they are all different in how they run their business, look around until you find one you like!

I'm surprised this childminder was awarded Good by Ofsted. I am following my gut instincts.

@JackGrealishsHair

I'm surprised this childminder was awarded Good by Ofsted. I am following my gut instincts.

Why? It's not for you but she must have plenty of parents who do like it otherwise she'd be making changes.

That's a funny mixture. The dhal is weird as fuck and not having cots for the tiny ones is quite odd (but maybe they don't often have very little ones as there's quite a strict limit on numbers IIRC, and some childminders seem to prefer having more older children).

Telling a child you love them sounds totally normal (though weird that they'd flag it up). Crash mats etc, fairly normal.

DD's nursery had them eating sitting on tiny chairs in the baby room and babies too little usually seemed to be on someone's knee, but I think this was just because they found it worked best. Never seemed an issue to me.

Not good - tinies ones ( less than 2 need cots) . Food is rubbish. Fine for 2/5 year olds to sit at little chairs/ tables. No high hair for baby is odd. Being loving fine by me.
I wouldn’t send my little one there

one of my children would love it , the others not
horses for courses i guess
i wouldn't like telling them they loved them , its not appropriate i my mind

Not normal keep looking! I've minded and use a minder now, every minder is different! You may find a few who work in similar ways to each other and you will often find that they're friends too, which can be helpful if you find one you like but they haven't got the availability! (And helpful to work out which ones not to visit!)

A 13mth old can sleep on a mat.

I've worked with 13-18mth olds in a private nursery and they do sleep on mats on the floor/no blankets.

Some of the stuff doesn’t sound ideal, but I would absolutely want anyone looking after my small child on a regular basis to tell them they loved them, and to show affection. It’s a pretty basic and vital need of young children

Interesting to read different perspectives!

The sleep mat thing seems normal in itself - my 13mo sleeps on a mat at nursery, but there are blankets and it's a very cosy space.

I understand others may disagree but the telling them she loves them thing is so far over the line for me I'd be taking my kid out of there straight away.

The bed mat thing is fine, cots take up too much space

Mats - normal/common.

Food - lots of childminders don't provide any food, or provide a variation on the same thing every day eg sandwiches.

Highchairs - unusual but I wouldn't necessarily have a problem

Routine - obviously all the children will have the same routine How do you expect the childminder to ever leave the house if the children are all on different routines? Little babies who will nap as and when in the pushchair are a different matter but one adult cannot spend all their time putting children down for naps.

Basically this childminder sounds absolutely fine and is doing a good job, but just isn't the right one for you.

And the love thing - sounds absolutely fine and healthy to me? I have been a childminder and nanny and if a child says they love me I would always say "love you too".
Why wouldn't you want your child to feel loved
Sometimes you actually do come to love the children you care for.

Sounds fine to me, long as they are fed, cared for and enjoy their day. You can choose not to send your child. I’ve been lucky enough to have some amazing childminders for my children, some who perhaps do things differently than me but you do need to compromise as they have several other kids to look after too.

I have experience of working with childminders.

Normal that children sleep around the same time to some degree - some childminders encourage children to nap together because of school run restrictions etc. They could be out at 8.30, 12.00 for nursery pick up and then again at 3 so it makes sense to encourage any children that need naps to do it around this schedule.

Not normal that diet is so limited, childminders are actively encouraged to give a wide ranging healthy diet.

I have heard of some childminders using crash mats but wouldn’t say it’s the norm, lots of others use sofas, travel cots, pushchairs etc.

Never heard of a childminders who doesn’t use high chairs!

I don’t understand why the childminder felt the need to point out that she tells the kids that she loves them. I mean if they develop a strong relationship and the child says I love you, the childminders that I know would probably say it back but they wouldn’t feel the need to point that out to parents!

Definitely look around, this one doesn’t sound like the one for you!