Childminder - is this normal practice?

[JackGrealishsHair]

Just started looking round at childminders locally and it's the first time I've done this. A genuine AIBU to be surprised / shocked by these practices?

For context children are aged from 12 months up to 5 years.

• children sleep on a plastic crashmat on the floor all piled in together. No blankets, no cots for tiny ones, no curtains in the room. This room is also used for soft play. Is this normal practice?

• meals are always dahl and bread. Always vegetarian and lentil based, some variation on the dahl recipe. This is because so many children have different dietary requirements, so its easier. If parents wish child to eat something else eg chicken or vegetables they have to provide those already prepared.

• there are no high chairs available for very young children at meals. They eat in the floor or if they can manage sitting in a small chair.

• nap time is the same for every child regardless of age or routine at home.

• childminder says she will often tell children that they love them and this is healthy because of how close she is with the children.

AIBU to be surprised by these or is it normal?

Our nursery had tiny chairs and low tables even for the babies, so they could come and go from the table as they liked. It's a bit like the Montessori idea of floor beds. It doesn't make for an easy life for the adults but it's designed around the babies.

My nursery started with mats on the floor in a room that was used for soft play outwith naptime as soon as they got out of the baby room (as my 13mo was when he started). They also have set nap times - 12.30 for all children (again, out of the baby room). They gave my son a morning nap too when he needed it. The children will sleep better if there is a designated naptime where everyone is asleep and they're not missing out. We were lucky that 12.30 was his naptime at home too so we didn't need to adjust anything.

All meals were done on little chairs at a toddler height table. I wouldn't be impressed with the food situation though, you can easily make vegetarian food that covers a wide range of allergies that isn't just lentils. I would also be a bit weirded out by the 'I love you' thing.

At the end of the day, if you don't like them, then keep looking. It's important you feel comfortable with their care rather than what's "normal".

This sounds like a cultural difference.

I don't translate any of your points to the childminder not being caring or good at what they do (although the lack of variety in diet isn't great at least the one meal on offer is a good one).

No no no no no. Trust your gut but telling them she loves them is just so far off the scale even someone with no gut instinct whatsoever should know it’s wrong.

When you need a childminder you tend to get a bit desperate and it shows, I made a mistake when I was a new mum and employed someone similar but I lived to regret it bitterly. Please find someone else.

@ILoveANameChange

A 13mth old can sleep on a mat.

Yep they definitely care.

When my DD was younger than that I had to be careful as if she was on the floor crawling and wanted a sleep, she went to sleep....

@MrsWhites I imagine she mentioned the love thing because some parents have very strong feelings about it? As you can see from this thread it would be a deal breaker for some people so better to know from the outset.

@ILoveANameChange

A 13mth old can sleep on a mat.

They CAN sleep on a mat. Why wouldn’t you provide at least a bit of comfort though? My dogs sleep on mats, even they get a pillow and a blanket.

Lots of children sleep in buggies without a pillow or blanket. Or on sofas.

I imagine keeping pillows and blankets for every child needs lots of extra storage space and creates a lot of laundry.

That sounds rubbish to me. Our nursery had travel cots for babies and camp beds for toddlers with blankets. Baby room had flexible nap times, toddler room everyone sleep after lunch. Babies and toddlers in tiny chairs and tables. Good varied menu that changed daily on 3 weekly rotation. Allergies dealt with on individual basis. Obviously no nuts.

I’ve just remembered all children had personalised placemat for means with their photo and whether they have any dietary requirements.

Mats for naps on the floor wouldn't bother me...I've seen this in nurseries.

Sitting on floor to eat doesn't bother me either.

Food thing sounds crap...there are plenty of things they could make instead whilst still sticking to dietary requirements.

Saying I love you Is a bit odd...If a child said it first and the childminder responded, then I understand but to say it first is not on imo

Mmm, this has made me want some dahl now, love the stuff! Lentils are fab!

I understand others may disagree but the telling them she loves them thing is so far over the line for me I'd be taking my kid out of there straight away. Why? I really don't understand this. Odd to begin with, but as they get to know each other?

@Berkeys

Mmm, this has made me want some dahl now, love the stuff! Lentils are fab!

Yes but I imagine it becomes pretty tiresome to eat it every day!

Awful. My son is 14 months and that would be a no for me. Watch out for the ones that spend all days at soft play with their mates too.

The best childminder I ever had was a young grandma who kept an immaculately tidy house with different stuff out every day on rotation and fed them traditional nursery food. She was amazing.

I wouldn’t expect them to be in cots to as old as 2, but something like 12 -18 months

I saw some really terrible stuff while looking for a childminder how the hell these people get an through offstead ill never know. We visited loads untill we found a really good one. You just have to keep looking.
The I love you thing wouldn't bother me, i heard my kid say i love you to her teacher and the teacher said i love you too. It made me cry and i was happy my daughter felt secure with her.

I'd happily eat dhal every day, sounds like the CM for me . Though in all honestly my lone child gets the same home breakfast and pack-up lunch for nursery each day and so do many of her friends, dhal may seem an odd choice but the repetitive menu is less of an issue imo.

The other stuff... it clearly doesn't work for you, that's the important thing, so this isn't the setting for you.

On routine though - you want (I think) a CM who gets out and about with the kids, and that means that any naps do need to happen at the same time for all/most of them, except the ones who are napping on the go.

My childminder tells my kids she loves them, BUT she has been in their life from DS being 9months (he’s now 5) and DD (now 3) from birth. They love her too and I see it as a sign we’ve picked the absolute best person we could’ve
When they were very small they slept in the bouncer chair things but now on the rare occasion any of the kids nap they just go on her sofa (all children in the setting are 2.5years and above so not baby babies and most are transitioning out of afternoon naps, mine certainly have)
Food wise, it’s basic, but it’s what we’d cook at home, spag bol, bangers and mash, chicken curry etc. If a child doesn’t like/want what is offered they’ll be offered a snack, crackers or an apple or whatever but there’s no other meal made and the parent just gets told they’ve had no tea, or that they didn’t have lunch but they’ve had tea or whatever.
Personally I’m happy with that, at home I don’t make 3 different meals and wouldn’t expect anyone else to (especially when I know that my kids DO like it, but kids are ratbags at times)

We dropped on so lucky with ours, she’s the only one in the area rated outstanding by ofsted and we just “clicked” straight away but definitely keep looking until you find one you and your child are happy with

dhal may seem an odd choice

It's not an odd choice but I wouldn't want my dc eating the same thing, whatever it was, every day

Sounds nuts. Mats on the floor for sleeping (with a blanket) is normal for toddlers but definitely not babies!

Nothing else about this is normal practice.

Sounds like a lazy childminder. I’m sure your child deserves better care.

The last one is fine, children can't be loved by too many people and a good bond is imperative for a happy and successful childcare placement.

The rest is weird, daal is a pretty lazy meal for all meals tbh. I'd also personally want a little more variance for different developmental stages.

My childminder told my daughter she loved her. Because she did/does. She helped raise her! She was in her life from 10 months old and stopped being her childminder at 7, but we still see her. I have no issue with childminders expressing affection and love.

The food thing sounds a bit odd, my childminder was fantastic though and just cooked extra family meals to have the next day with the kids.

The routine - normal especially if they have school runs to fit in, it is a group setting after all

The sleeping thing - not so sure, my childminder has another room for them to sleep in but my child was known to fall asleep in the play room on the sofa 😂

@Patapouf

The last one is fine, children can't be loved by too many people and a good bond is imperative for a happy and successful childcare placement.

The rest is weird, daal is a pretty lazy meal for all meals tbh. I'd also personally want a little more variance for different developmental stages.

What kind of variance? The OP doesn't mention any developmental stuff does it?

I'm not sure why variations on dahl is lazier than variations on sandwiches which is what a lot of parents and childcarers do every day.