Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be raging

94 replies

crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 14:51

A few years ago I moved in with my DP. We'd been together for a few years before that.

He has this odd unspoken arrangement with the LL where they both take the piss basically. The rent is significantly lower than the going rate for this type of property in this central area. The LL (has many properties) does no upkeep whatsoever. All the fixtures and fittings are crumbling away and between DP and LL things keep getting brushed under the massively aged carpets.

Just btw, I have made a load of effort since I moved in to improve things, do various upgrades and all the rest of that. In real life I ask people about this and they say, just get the work done/do the work and then invoice the LL. Well hohoho they would not like that, it would take months of bloody back and forth to even get a conversation going and quite frankly I think if you rent then you're paying to opt out of the responsibility of owning. I get the impression this LL wants us to have all the cons of owning without any of the pros...like this actually being our place which it is not.

Last year during lockdown a serious fault occurred in the flat. We did not cause this. I got a tradesperson out to look at the issue and said I would pay him upfront with my plan being to then chase LL for the money. He said fine and we discussed how the problem was urgent and if left unattended would cause much more damage potentially to properties other than ours.

Between DP and the LL they farted, faffed and arsed around and then the guy contacts me and says that since the situation is serious he needs the owner of the property to OK him doing the work, it would not be ok for me to simply pay him. He tells me this has not happened and he will be taking other work.

I had to absolutely rage my arse off at DP to get him to ask the LL about this. By the end I think they were both quite upset because the situation was worrying but eff effing me!

Anyway there is loads of stuff broken in the property now. The cooker has just packed up. I ask DP about it and he starts with "owww did you put a fork in the pan, sometimes that helps...."

It's broken, mate.

I'm just ranting because I have nowhere else to. I want to move. DP agrees to and then starts all this vague crap with me. I said I would move and he could stay here if he wanted to, he got really upset.

I am going to move. DP is actually a good person but somehow gets sort of stuck on things, This "deal" between him and the LL is one of those things he has just got stuck on. They both basically have pissed me off to fuck and back.

We've just had a huge barney and he is audibly contacting the LL. He says I am being horrible. If it was just the cooker I would get that but the whole place is knackered.

I am stuck between him not wanting change and the LL not being arsed.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 09/09/2021 14:53

Move out
He’s not going to take any action to sort this

SpamIAm · 09/09/2021 15:58

I'm very intrigued as to what putting a fork in a pan does.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/09/2021 16:01

Move out and dump your useless partner. He doesn't give a fuck about your safety or comfort. Don’t you think you deserve better than this?

poorbuthappy · 09/09/2021 16:03

Move out. He's showing you the sort of person he is.
Don't ignore the signs.

PyjamaFan · 09/09/2021 16:03

Move out by yourself.

SnarkyBag · 09/09/2021 16:06

God this all sounds like a rather miserable way to live. Think I’d move out and leave him to it.

OverweightPidgeon · 09/09/2021 16:06

Are there gas and electric safety certificates- LL could be in trouble if not.
Definitely move out and I would question the relationship, do you want to be with someone so dithery?

Theunamedcat · 09/09/2021 16:06

Put a fork in the pan? What does that fix?

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/09/2021 16:08

Just effing move and get the eff out of there. Life is too effing short to put up with this psh and bll*cks.

And tell your boyfriend that he needs to grow up and stop acting like an effing child. He should not be pandering to the LL c*nty procrastinations.

Or somesuch.

Effs sake.

gamerchick · 09/09/2021 16:08

Fuck that just move out. So what if he gets upset. He doesnt care if you're upset does he?

WallaceinAnderland · 09/09/2021 16:08

So the deal is he gets cheap rent in exchange for doing repairs and redecorating himself? In that case it's your DP who is dragging his heels isn't it.

Move out.

Stircraazy · 09/09/2021 16:09

There's a body under the floorboards - both complicit in different ways, and one is holding this knowledge over the other - hence no workmen allowed in .

crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 16:10

@SpamIAm I made a colorful enquiry about that also. Answer was "mumblemumblemumble you're mean mumble..."

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 09/09/2021 16:12

So you get cheap rent and have to pay for repairs. That doesn't sound like the landlord is taking the piss really - it's not the proper way to do things but it's your DP who's not getting things sorted.

Are you moving somewhere where only your name is on the tenancy? Is it actually financially beneficial for you to move?

RubyGoat · 09/09/2021 16:12

It doesn't sound like the place is fit for human habitation TBH. I don't know if this might help?

Thedogscollar · 09/09/2021 16:14

Leave them to their "arrangement"
Life is too short to live with this crap in a potentially dangerous building.

Notaroadrunner · 09/09/2021 16:17

I assume when you move you'll be leaving your partner in the grotty house and well and truly in your past.

crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 16:17

@girlmom21 Cheap rent, have to chase for repairs, no upgrades or safety checks and lots of stuff left broken. So, they're taking the piss by not maintaining the property but obviously my DP is allowing this by agreeing to it. It's not even that cheap tbh, just cheaper than the going rate.

OP posts:
Droite · 09/09/2021 16:19

Deciding to move was the right decision. When are you leaving?

crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 16:22

@girlmom21 sorry I missed the other part of your post as I'm so wound up. Financially it's hard to say but overall I think it would just even out.

OP posts:
crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 16:26

@Stircraazy police now.

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 09/09/2021 16:32

[quote crackeroncrack]@girlmom21 Cheap rent, have to chase for repairs, no upgrades or safety checks and lots of stuff left broken. So, they're taking the piss by not maintaining the property but obviously my DP is allowing this by agreeing to it. It's not even that cheap tbh, just cheaper than the going rate.[/quote]
But why would the LL maintain the property when they have an agreement with your DP that he will do it? It's your DP that's taking the piss, not your LL.

crackeroncrack · 09/09/2021 16:39

@WallaceinAnderland I do know what you mean. The agreement is not spoken or written or anything it's something they have both fallen into. DP has not agreed to maintain the property. It's all very vague and boils down to neither party wanting to be bothered. Part of what annoys me is that rather than a straightforward "no" from either of them there is this wall of vague bullshit that goes on forever when I have other things to do.

I mean, the cooker is bust. This is not complicated.

OP posts:
EvilPea · 09/09/2021 16:45

I rent. I’ve replaced cookers, fences, replastered, retiled when the tiles fall off the wall, replaced floors and carpets, fixed damp, showers and leaks. I’ve even fixed heating systems and plumbing.

That’s without reduced rent.
It’s ok until your given notice and have to move, that’s fucking annoying knowing someone else is benefitting

Welcome to the shit world of renting op. Use the reduced rent and save your absolute bollocks off to buy.

LaetitiaASD · 09/09/2021 16:47

The landlord - I'm sure - has responsibilities that he cannot escape... unless by the consent of the tenant.

It really is simple, landlord and DP see it as a win win - you need to lump it or move out.