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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what was the most prolific thing you have done to change your life for the better?

355 replies

Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 13:08

I'm in a bit of a funk today so want to know what other people do when faced with an idea of changing something.

Has anyone ever made a drastic or even a small change for the better? Whether that be spiritually / money wise or with themselves?

I keep thinking about the notion that 'life is what you make of it' and questioning where I am going wrong.

OP posts:
KitchenDancefloor · 09/09/2021 15:51

Could it be that you're too comfortable @Dotdotlineline?

I was in a similar position a few years ago where everything was middling and fine but not exciting. I had a few promotions which showed me that I actually needed MORE stress/stimulation in my life. I had plateaued and needed a kick to move in a different direction.

Now I know I am able to do something more demanding, I'd like to take my career down a notch and put my energies into a new project; could do with a health kick, would like to travel more, want to learn more art skills, maybe start a side hustle, volunteer. I just think doing any of those alongside a management job would finish me off! But taking the job opportunities has given me the confidence to tackle something new and picture making a success of it.

Interesting that most job changers on here did it to alleviate stress. You might need to consider upping yours.

Joystir59 · 09/09/2021 15:55

I think maybe you mean profound rather than prolific?

Joystir59 · 09/09/2021 16:00

@FannyBrice
WordOfTheDay The word "prolific" is mis-used in the title. Fucking hell, I think most people got the jist
Just isn't a proper word. Did you mean gist? Grin

Joystir59 · 09/09/2021 16:00

Jist!

lazylinguist · 09/09/2021 16:08

Grin @Joystir59 I love it when snarky pedants comment on a thread purely to pick on someone's use of language and get their arse handed to them for making a mistake in their own post!

Joystir59 · 09/09/2021 16:09

Lol Grin

Joystir59 · 09/09/2021 16:09

I was so annoyed when I spotted that autocorrection too late!

Fluffypinkt · 09/09/2021 16:10

I quit a job I hated ( but quite well paid) and took a job as a cleaner in an office during the pandemic. I have no IT training. So embarked on an IT course so I could converse with the people I worked for. I now work for that very same company. From home on double my annual salary.
I took a step back to take 5 steps forward.

FannyBrice · 09/09/2021 16:11

[quote Joystir59]@FannyBrice
WordOfTheDay The word "prolific" is mis-used in the title. Fucking hell, I think most people got the jist
Just isn't a proper word. Did you mean gist? Grin[/quote]
I did Grin Grin Grin

crystaltips98 · 09/09/2021 16:14

Stopped smoking - it allowed me to pay my debts
Left exH - Confidence soared.
Got fit.

Usecoooomonsnse · 09/09/2021 16:15

@Dotdotlineline if you can’t make big changes check out

tinyhabits.com/

Recommends small but consistent changes.

RuthW · 09/09/2021 16:21

Asked my dh to choose between me and lady friend. He chose to leave. Best thing for both of us.

Bella43 · 09/09/2021 16:23

Went to uni. This has snowballed into a love of education, career change and confidence in my abilities. I never thought I was capable of higher education as I failed time and time again at school. Well, things change 😊

Tabitha005 · 09/09/2021 16:24

I love this thread! So many inspiring comments.

Mine are:

  • stopped drinking alcohol, even though I never had a 'drink problem' - better quality of sleep, no hangovers, nicer skin, weight loss.
  • daily stretching for at least 15 mins - I hesitate to call it 'yoga', it's just my own routine
  • not spreading myself too thinly from a social perspective and stopped doing all the stuff that never made me happy (including seeing 'friends' who weren't really any more than casual acquaintances with whom I had very little in common with or empathy for)
  • stopped comparing myself and my achievements with others

The 'biggest' change for me personally has been the realisation that I have a choice of how to react to other people. I used to be hugely reactionary and quite argumentative and would hold a grudge for YEARS if I felt someone had 'wronged' me in some way. Moving away from that has been really, REALLY beneficial for me.

Therapy was, and still is, a way for me to keep an eye on my overall mental health and I make sure I keep at least a quarterly appointment, even when I feel life is brilliant and I'm not experiencing any negative MH signs.

Didactylos · 09/09/2021 16:45

3 years ago we were plodding along, good jobs but struggling to get permanent contracts, long hours, debts, expensive mortgage and even more expensive childcare. We made a decision that I would take a years sabbatical in DHs country, where I could work in my professional capacity but needed to have an immersion course in his language.
This was a huge change but we planned it carefully, always giving ourselves the option to move home if things weren't going well. We moved over with 2 DCs, changed their schools, rented out our house and gave it a go. First 18 months were a bit tough, we had lots of family time but didn't always have resources, DH couldn't find work, we had to sell our place in the UK as we couldn't find a reliable tenant , kids were unsettled but we persevered. Then we had COVID and lock down so couldn't really think about moving back.
3 years later we are flying. I speak the language to a high level, am in my specialist role at work but have much better work conditions and hours here, so we have a much better life. Because it was DHs country he was funded to take a 2 year professional qualification (that we had talked over him studying many times before in the UK) that has led to the best paid job he has had, which is also working from home thus cutting out his commute. Now we have a new house here in a safe and friendly, more rural area and with much lower mortgage costs, we can afford to replace things and decorate. I get home before 4 most nights, and know what my own children look like. DP and I get much more time together, I even get to exercise and have hobbies too. DCs have new schools and friends and sports clubs and are now comfortably bilingual. I miss my wider family but we are probably not going to move back full time to the UK.

It was pretty stressful to throw all our certainties up in the air and take a risk, and it did take some work but I am so glad we decided to move here

thegcatsmother · 09/09/2021 16:55

Gong back to work at 55 after not working for 15 years having been a trailing spouse. I use my brain and can be me again, as opposed to a wife and mum. It's great!!

Window1 · 09/09/2021 16:59

@scrivette

I changed jobs.

From a well paid, managerial job to a lower paid, lower scale role doing something I really enjoy.
I feel very valued doing this job and have a better work/life balance.

Was this a snap decision or did it take some time to reach the conclusion to leave a well paid job?

Did you simply work out what you need to pay bills/live and ensure you earn at least that?

Do you ever regret it or consider trying to earn more again?

Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 17:04

Wow I didn't make a thread to be belittled and mocked for using the wrong word. It was a genuine mistake and now I feel utterly embarrassed and stupid SadSad

OP posts:
Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 17:06

[quote Usecoooomonsnse]@Dotdotlineline if you can’t make big changes check out

tinyhabits.com/

Recommends small but consistent changes.[/quote]
Thank you so much @Usecoooomonsnse

OP posts:
simitra · 09/09/2021 17:08

Quit employed work and started a business

Original poster
Dotdotlineline · 09/09/2021 17:08

@Tabitha005

Thank you this was why I posted in the first place. It's nice to see how people have succeeded but it's become a bit of a grammar bashing thread Blush

OP posts:
FAQs · 09/09/2021 17:09

@Dotdotlineline

Wow I didn't make a thread to be belittled and mocked for using the wrong word. It was a genuine mistake and now I feel utterly embarrassed and stupid SadSad
N’ah ignore, don’t sweat the small stuff, they came on to be a knob, they didn’t need to say anything, everyone gets the gist. Including them.
FAQs · 09/09/2021 17:10

And for them, nob Wink I’m dyslexic and used to being pulled up, doesn’t bother me anymore.

absolutelyknackeredcow · 09/09/2021 17:11

Two things
Hired a personal trainer - to help with a long term health problem that wasn't getting any better. Life changing. My fitness is amazing and I'm pain free.

Moved my kids primary school after their shit response to the 2020 lockdown. School much better and much suited to them and they have made some lovely friends

Sunpotter · 09/09/2021 17:25

@Dotdotlineline

Wow I didn't make a thread to be belittled and mocked for using the wrong word. It was a genuine mistake and now I feel utterly embarrassed and stupid SadSad
@Dotdotlineline It's a great thread, I've loved it, thanks :)

There is no good motive for anybody quibbling a mistake in the title, anybody doing that could look at why they did it and use that as inspo for a positive change they may like to make.