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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband doesn't like my cooking any more

127 replies

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 07/09/2021 19:34

I love cooking and when I have time I like to try out new healthy recipes. I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans. For years my husband and sons have tucked into whatever I've given them once my youngest got over his childhood fussy phase.Now my husband has started saying that he doesn't like some of the meals I've cooked for years - aibu to want to still cook them for the rest of us and leave him to fend for himself?

OP posts:
lightand · 07/09/2021 20:28

When my DH went was trying to lose weight, I told him, stop telling me what you dont want, and tell me what you do want.

HollowTalk · 07/09/2021 20:28

@MrsRobbieHart

I’d be wondering what has prompted this change in taste…
Me too. Contempt for a partner often comes just after having your head turned.
Limpshade · 07/09/2021 20:31

The only reasonable follow up to "Husband doesn't like my cooking anymore" is, "...so he started cooking his own damn food."

YANBU.

LittleOwl153 · 07/09/2021 20:33

He's retired? Lazy fucker. I would not wear this.

Two options

  1. OK you ARE cooking Mon, Wed, Fri or whatever works for you
  2. So I'm cooking X (which you don't like) so I won't cook you any and you can sort yourself. And mean it.
whatisheupto · 07/09/2021 20:35

I'm sorry @Daisydoesnt but I’m just really struggling to square these statements:

"I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table"

"How can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans?"

Why2why · 07/09/2021 20:36

Well the Brits aren’t known for their delicious cookingGrin

Thatsjustwhatithink · 07/09/2021 20:37

@Boysgrownbutstillathome

Sorry OP but he doesn't sound very nice. You seem to be doing the bulk of the work and he's being a dick.

rubbletrouble · 07/09/2021 20:50

My hubby gets a bit bored sometimes when I get a bit repetitive, we have a running joke about "meatballs again", but he eats it or he cooks for himself, he is on a no carb no sugar diet so quite hard to throw variety in there, so he does his own if he doesn't like or can't have what I make.

It's not unreasonable for him to be bored and want it changing up a but, he is unreasonable to "expect" you to do that for him

pickingdaisies · 07/09/2021 20:51

OP I have a friend in a similar situation. My advice to her was, tell him what you are cooking. Tell him you know he doesn't like it, so you are giving him time to sort himself something. Then smile, because you are doing him a favour. You can't make him cook for you, but also he can't make you cook for him, especially if he's being an ungrateful prat.

Haudyourwheesht · 07/09/2021 20:51

That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

One of my favourite ever uses of unmitigated. Grin

I love to cook, often try new things and cook from scratch most days. Also love a fish fingers, oven chips, tinned veg- type day.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 07/09/2021 20:56

Cook for the rest of you and tell him to sort himself out.
You really need to stomp on this shit.

RandomMess · 07/09/2021 20:57

I just wouldn't cook for him anymore!

DH does nearly all the cooking after I did for a decade the only correct response is "thank you".

pictish · 07/09/2021 20:57

Same here…I’m wholefoody and wank. I’m active, outdoorsy, and like to eat healthily. I like cooking.
Also loooove a chunky fish fingers, oven chips and beans of a Tuesday.

mbosnz · 07/09/2021 20:57

Retired? Some cooking training? Do the bloody cooking mate. And wash the hell up too.

pangolina · 07/09/2021 20:58

Just tell him he doesn't have to eat it. How bloody ungrateful.

Kanaloa · 07/09/2021 21:03

Draw him a little map to the kitchen and pin it to his front?

On a side note, ds11 came through the kitchen last week and said ‘is it egg, chips and beans?’ in a tone that conveyed pure delight. It always goes down well here 😂

BlotBangRub · 07/09/2021 21:04

Tell him to cook his own meals op.
It reminds me of when I'd been married a couple of months and I was dishing up the evening meal when my DH commented that he didn't like the way I did the carrots.
I slammed the pan down so hard that I actually dented it and screamed...' IF SOMEONE WAS KIND ENOUGH TO COOK ME A FUCKING MEAL FOR WHEN I GOT HOME FROM WORK, I'D EAT IT AND ENJOY IT, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!!'
Before stomping off.
He's never complained since..... mainly because that was the last time I ever cooked anything.

Kanaloa · 07/09/2021 21:05

Don't be such a food snob. You think Nigella never opens a can of beans? I bet she does.

You know she’s shoving a pouch of uncle ben’s rice in the mee-cro-wah-vay on a Thursday night. Jamie Oliver on the other hand… he apparently thinks frozen peas are a treat.

Doomscrolling · 07/09/2021 21:08

About time he stepped up and started then, isn’t it?

I went through this when DH announced he no longer liked pasta. (We had pasta 3 times a week as it was a rare carb everyone ate)

He’d have potatoes (and meat) 7 days a week if possible; the rest of us tolerate potatoes twice a week maximum.

Some days he cooks for us, some days I do, some days there are two options available.

Sweetchocolatecandy · 07/09/2021 21:10

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

I love to cook but we still eat convenience food now and again depending on our work shifts. I think this is normal for most people but judge away anyway!
Brieeeeeeeeeeee · 07/09/2021 21:16

This thread has made me realise that all adults (or capable children, let’s say 14+ or thereabouts) in a family need to take turns cooking. Cannot imagine having a conversation with DH where he said he was bored of my cooking and I fretted about it.

lockdownalli · 07/09/2021 21:18

YANBU

You cook for you and DS and he can sort himself out.

Arsehole.

SpidersAreShitheads · 07/09/2021 21:22

@Thatsjustwhatithink

Your advice of telling OP's DH to "shit off" has given me a proper fit of the giggles. Sat here by myself still sniggering at it.

I'm a regular potty mouth but this phrase has really tickled me.

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Mindyourbusiness22 · 07/09/2021 21:28

Tell him that’s okay, there’s the kitchen crack on with your own meals

BeckyWithTheGoodHair5629456 · 07/09/2021 21:32

@AlCalavicci

Show him where the cooker is and leave him to it !

When me and my DB lived together ( mid teens ) I did all the cooking and though he never complained he never praised it either and it always took him at least 10 minutes to get his arse to the table even tough we ate at about the same times most days .

So I got him to start cooking , starting with really basic stuff like egg and chips he got the hang of most things quickly and learnt how to do more complicated stuff like currys, chilli , stews etc .
He quickly realised how much effort went into cooking and was much more helpful and grateful.
I know one his proudest moments was when he surprised our DM/D by cooking a full sunday dinner for the four of us.

In short get your DH cooking he may surprise himself and you

Oven chips and baked beans are delicious. You are wrong.