Husband doesn't like my cooking any more

[Boysgrownbutstillathome]

I love cooking and when I have time I like to try out new healthy recipes. I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans. For years my husband and sons have tucked into whatever I've given them once my youngest got over his childhood fussy phase.Now my husband has started saying that he doesn't like some of the meals I've cooked for years - aibu to want to still cook them for the rest of us and leave him to fend for himself?

what doesn't he like and why doesn't he like it? How are the chores divided in your house?

Omg thank you I’ve hated cooking for everybody for years, you can start from tomorrow

Do you both work full time? In which case he can cook every other night, I think you should jump at the chance. Would you eat his cooking? Do you stay at home and he works? Then I think you could ask him what he wants to eat and try to incorporate that into meals to some extent.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Oooh hark at her.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Lol don’t be silly, sometimes I’ll cook elaborate complicated, unusual meals, sometimes I’ll bung fish fingers, chips & beans in - that’s completely normal!

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Oh behave .

Tell him to brush off his chefs whites and cook his own fucking dinner then OP.

I think it's time for DH and kids to get in the kitchen and start cooking for everyone!

Do you meal plan at all, what dishes do you like to cook on a weekly basis. Does everyone eat the leftovers for lunch or the next day?
Does he dislike a particular ingredient?
Sometimes it could be that the texture of the dish doesn't suit his tastes.
Adding fresh herbs, or chopped nuts/seeds, yoghurt etc can sometimes bring life to an old recipe.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Don't be such a food snob. You think Nigella never opens a can of beans? I bet she does.

I'm also a keen cook who cooks mostly from scratch - I am doing spicy prawn pizza tonight. However we have the odd day when there's no time to cook and there's nothing wrong with baked beans and oven chips now and again.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

For example: The meatballs , spaghetti and pasta sauce I cook on Friday nights because I have to drive my son ( autistic, learning disabilities) to and from football training, meatballs are quick and easy. Home made ratatouille with chickpeas, wholewheat pasta and low fat cheddar.

also there is nothing better than convenience food after a long day! I might need to put some chips in the oven ;)

Yep, full-blown artisan baker & Hodmedod legume-type meals maker mostly, bloody love sausage, beans & chips. Keeps DH happy too. 😁

My DH missed his own food, so sometimes that's what he gets.

On the one hand, you can go off something after having for years - I have gone off my own lamb stew which everyone else adores - it even makes me feel a bit ill cooking it. So I've told DH I'm taking a break from lamb for a while. If DH had been cooking it rather than me I'd have had to tell him gently that I didn't really want to eat it anymore.

Did he say it in a nice way? Apologetic for bringing it up but needs a change?

If you have enough meals you all like where you can drop the ones he doesn't then I can't see the harm.

But if he was being a dick about it I'd simply let him know the week's menu at the start of the week and point out that the meal he doesn't like is being served on Wed, for example, so he's got enough time to plan something else for himself.

You say, 'great, you cook Mondays Weds and Fridays and we will take turns on Sundays'
Then phone all your friends, in front of him, and tell them how dh is now cooking 3 times a week and you just cannot wait to see what he is going to surprise you with.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Don't be so ridiculous. That's literally what oven chips are for. DH would be very sad indeed if I just cooked from scratch all the time and never got an oven chip again.

Op sounds like your husband likes performative cooking. You know, where he faffs around in the kitchen for hours making a artsy mediocre meal and you have to stroke his ego after. I'll be honest, I wouldn't put up with that nonsense. To my mind you have three options:

Tell him he's in charge of the cooking from now on. and complain the meals are boring when he does

Tell him to lump it and stop being such a big baby.

Bend over backwards to accommodate him and secretly resent him.

Not all options are equal and if you do 3 you are in for a lifetime of misery.

Or perhaps secret option no. 4. Cook new menus but basically make them inedible for him(but nice for you, eg. super spicy if you tolerate it well, raisins in everything if he hates it, vegan if he likes his meat.

No 4. Is risky but an interesting experiment dontcha think?

how can you bear to dish up oven chips
Can’t stop reading this out loud in a tormented voice.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

Oh Daisy, thanks for the laugh.

@Franklyfrost

Do you both work full time? In which case he can cook every other night, I think you should jump at the chance. Would you eat his cooking? Do you stay at home and he works? Then I think you could ask him what he wants to eat and try to incorporate that into meals to some extent.

He is retired but still does some music related work when he wants to. I am a carer for my eldest son (25, autistic, learning disabilities) and I do voluntary work as well. I have suggested he cook more for us but he won't. He used to cook more when we were first married.

@cabingirl

On the one hand, you can go off something after having for years - I have gone off my own lamb stew which everyone else adores - it even makes me feel a bit ill cooking it. So I've told DH I'm taking a break from lamb for a while. If DH had been cooking it rather than me I'd have had to tell him gently that I didn't really want to eat it anymore.

Did he say it in a nice way? Apologetic for bringing it up but needs a change?

If you have enough meals you all like where you can drop the ones he doesn't then I can't see the harm.

But if he was being a dick about it I'd simply let him know the week's menu at the start of the week and point out that the meal he doesn't like is being served on Wed, for example, so he's got enough time to plan something else for himself.

Not in a nice way, definitely being a dick.

@Daisydoesnt

I’m sorry OP but I’m just really struggling to square these statements “I love to cook” “I like to try out new healthy recipes” “I also sometimes cook convenience food like spaghetti and meatballs with pasta sauce from a jar or fish and oven chips with frozen peas or baked beans”

I know we all have days when we just want to get food on the table but if you’re a keen cook how can you bear to dish up oven chips and baked beans. That’s just unhealthy, unmitigated stodgy.

Which meals in particular does your DH no longer want?

ODFOD

The meatballs , spaghetti and pasta sauce I cook on Friday nights because I have to drive my son ( autistic, learning disabilities) to and from football training, meatballs are quick and easy.
Home made ratatouille with chickpeas, wholewheat pasta and low fat cheddar.

Don't feel the need to pander to that ridiculous troll op, it's perfectly normal to have convenience food when needed.

I doubt very much that poster can actually cook. Just looking for a bridge to hide under.

He is retired..let him do all the bloody cooking

@MrsRobbieHart

I’d be wondering what has prompted this change in taste…

Oh behave!!

What does he want to eat instead?

I make traditional pakistani food, but love putting some chips 🍟 in the oven. Chips are a staple in my freezer, alongside with fishcakes and breaded chicken steaks because sometimes all you want is convenience.

Your post made me really sad. It sounds like you have taken on all the mental labour for the household and your husband gets to dick about with music.

I would think you need some proper marriage counseling as it's not fair on you to take on the bulk of the household jobs and worries.