Sayings on MN that you cannot stand!

[Namechangedforthreadbackafter]

Inspired/copied/due to lack of my own ideas

What phrases/come backs/irritating things do people say on MN?

“Track and Trace”

when not referring to a parcel

OP - A car has parked in front/across of my drive blocking me in/out

Other posters - Need a diagram, its a MN rule

How fucking thick are you that you cant imagine that!!!

Darked on, oh yes so funny

Give your head a wobble

Cringe

If a poster subjects others to the grammatical horrors of "should of," "I done XYZ" etc, why should the readers take this lying down?!

Someone using incorrect grammar isn’t doing it to make ‘the readers take it lying down.’ They may have had fewer opportunities for education or may struggle with written communication.

Pointing it out doesn’t make you look clever, quite the opposite. Most of us who have posted replies have noticed there is incorrect grammar, but we’re intelligent enough to understand what was meant and socially competent enough to realise that pointing out the mistakes snottily on an online forum (where the mistakes do not render the post incomprehensible) is not helpful or educational. It just makes someone feel stupid/small.

Oh Kanola, really, stop with the officious scolding. Really, who do you think you are? The po-faced, pompous deliberate misreading of something clearly tongue in cheek is wearisome.

"Trotted out" makes me feel sick.

"Needs gone" etc is so annoying. I saw "children need taught" on a teaching thread the other day.

"I have a son whose name starts with J, think Jack (it isn't Jack". I can confidently say no one cares what his name is.

Someone receives some replys that disagree with their opinion and then say "I need to step away from this thread now". Or tells them they've had to go and have "a little cry". Or they get it deleted for being too outing.

Also hate "but that's just me" after saying how they volunteer for 12 different charities plus work full time and split the money between all of them. Or they say it after posting what they would have quipped back with on the spot if they were in the situation irl. It just sounds so smug and patronising.

It’s not tongue in cheek though, is it. It’s seen constantly on posts where certain posters will jump in to insist they ‘just had to’ point out that someone has misused ‘gifted’ or some such. Every time I see it my first thought is that the person posting it is not nice and doesn’t end up looking clever at all.

"I mean this kindly..." "In the kindest possible way..." - usually followed by thinly disguised unkindness

On any thread about weight loss or discussing whether some extremely skinny celebrity is too thin:

"We've lost sight of what a healthy weight is."

"It's a no from me" so smug and self important

There’s a myriad of covid ones, especially “rip through”. Covid doesn’t spread, it “rips”.

DH. DS. DD. DGD. DGS. DSD. DSS. DBIL. DSIL. DM. DF. Etc etc….

Just say the fucking words. And the D for darling in front of every relation is twee and not funny any more.

@ConsulTremas

There’s a myriad of covid ones, especially “rip through”. Covid doesn’t spread, it “rips”.

Thank god it's dying out now, but for ages the covid-virtuous had to explain and justify everything they did by inserting "social-distanced" into every fucking post. And it wasn't even grammatical.

"DH and social-distanced DMIL are conspiring against me."

"Should I take DC to the social distanced vet?"

"Am I being unreasonable to social distanced leave my washing on the line while I go for a social distanced crap?"

@IcedPurple

On any thread about weight loss or discussing whether some extremely skinny celebrity is too thin:

"We've lost sight of what a healthy weight is."

It’s true though. In a world where 70% of people are overweight, overweight people literally look like the norm. They are also insecure and emotionally invested in believing that it’s not themselves who are unhealthy and unsightly. It’s actually all those ghastly, anorexic, skeletal, painfully thin, eating disordered, obsessive lettuce munching size 10’s who have something wrong with them.

It’s true though. In a world where 70% of people are overweight, overweight people literally look like the norm. They are also insecure and emotionally invested in believing that it’s not themselves who are unhealthy and unsightly. It’s actually all those ghastly, anorexic, skeletal, painfully thin, eating disordered, obsessive lettuce munching size 10’s who have something wrong with them.

Thank you for the rant, sorry "information" but I don't think you've quite understood the point of this thread.

@IcedPurple

On any thread about weight loss or discussing whether some extremely skinny celebrity is too thin:

"We've lost sight of what a healthy weight is."

Looks like we need to amend this to:

On ANY thread:

"We've lost sight of what a healthy weight is."

@byvirtue

“Give your head a wobble”

Gives me the rage.

Oooh, me too. I have never, EVER heard anyone say that in real life and if I did, I would laugh.

@AveryGoodlay

"Trotted out" makes me feel sick.

"Needs gone" etc is so annoying. I saw "children need taught" on a teaching thread the other day.

"I have a son whose name starts with J, think Jack (it isn't Jack". I can confidently say no one cares what his name is.

Someone receives some replys that disagree with their opinion and then say "I need to step away from this thread now". Or tells them they've had to go and have "a little cry". Or they get it deleted for being too outing.

Also hate "but that's just me" after saying how they volunteer for 12 different charities plus work full time and split the money between all of them. Or they say it after posting what they would have quipped back with on the spot if they were in the situation irl. It just sounds so smug and patronising.

Oh, I personally find it really refreshing to volunteer at the penguin sanctuary every evening after my 12-hour working days in my key worker role, and it never feels like an effort to set to cooking delicious, nutritionally-balanced meals for my seven children when I get home every evening... But I get that this is just me and not everyone can be the same

Back in the day, when it was all fields around here, there was an Mnetter who kept a spreadsheet. Apparently.

Think I’ll start another.

Anyone who talks about "enjoying" children. They aren't fairy cakes.

Oh dear. I love some of these MN phrases! Lots of them make me giggle, though I promise I don’t do a tinkly laugh.

Some are perfectly expressive, like “it boils my piss” = it makes me so hot with anger that I can imagine my urine boiling. I told DH ithe other day that Boris Johnson’s hypocrisy boiled my piss, but that made us both laugh so much I couldn’t stay angry.

Crack on, Mumsnetters!

Oh some great ones here.

I do have a soft spot for DDog due to liking an abbreviation that's longer than it's original.

Entitled, brat etc - adults writing about children. Might be cathartic for them but I really dislike it.

Can't/don't/won't read any threads about weight/cleaning standards/alcohol consumption - most posters on such threads have ascended to higher levels of purity so I leave them to it.

Grammar correction.on other posters is not akin to godliness. I've deliberately stopped correcting/proof reading my grammar and spelling mistakes but noone has sadly noticed and pulled me up on it yet.

My favourite - being accused of projection by someone who didn't understand projection, and was therefore and ironically, projecting herself. I probably need to let that one go.

"My DH has a hobby that keeps him away 3 nights a week...."

What are these mysterious hobbies?! Golf, football, card school, just fucking say it!

@CatJumperTwat

Anyone who talks about "enjoying" children. They aren't fairy cakes.

Well obviously. Fairy cakes are contained stickiness. Whether children are 'enjoyable', I leave as an exercise for the reader (that must get hated points)

I'm on my knees.
It's on its knees.
Get your ducks in a row.
Didn't want to read and run.

Show some originality, FFS.