This has put me off, would it you?

[Uribentmyspoon]

Met a new guy, really nice, getting on well.
Today we took our dogs for a walk and he grabbed a large stick off the ground, showed it me and said ‘It’s an olive branch’ I jokingly (isn’t funny, bit cheesy) said ‘Oh are you offering me an olive branch?’ 🙄 He was really confused and I explained that it was just a crap joke, like offering someone an olive branch, y’know, the saying…he had no idea what I was talking about and hadn’t heard that saying. Is it weird that I’m really surprised by that? He’s also never heard of Wuthering heights, and, silly one here, The Superman party song, played at practically every children’s party in our 80’s childhood.
We’re both the same age, 43, so he’s not done young guy. Would you be put off by these things (not the Superman one) but the others? It felt weird explaining the saying to him and explaining Wuthering heights 😳 or am I just a bitch?

A friend used to work as a teacher in a tower hamlets primary school. They did a trip to the natural history museum. Did some risk assessments etc. What they didn’t factor in was that when they got to the tube station half the kids had no idea what an escalator was, they had never seen one before. I assume that their parents either couldn’t afford to take them on the tube or had no interest in taking them anywhere. I saw another programme about some poor estate somewhere - 1 mile from the beach and the youth club had to take teenagers on trips to the beach as some of them had never been!!

It’s easy in our middle class ‘oh so intelligent and cultured’ bubbles to laugh at people who don’t have the same knowledge but there are vast slices of society who were never given the opportunity to experience a lot of things either because they had parents who did not have the money or the enthusiasm or the time or curiosity or mental awareness to expose their children things and as a child if most of your time is spent dodging gangs or diving a beating from you parents or trying to find some food etc then you don’t have much time to absorb ‘culture’
Some kids have perfectly adequate childhoods, but have parents who are happy to sit at home watching tv every night and spend the weekends gardening.

It would put me off. Genuinely! I’d also be gutted if he didn’t know the words to Just Say No (I’m a couple of years older than you though) or be able to chat about Hi-di-Hi or Dynasty or Jossy’s Giants or taping songs off the top 40 in 1987.
These are literally the things my DH & I chat about all the time. I think it’s really important & would feel I had nothing in common with someone who didn’t ‘get’ stuff like that. And Superman is great 😁

Did you do the Wuthering Heights and Superman dance to show him what he was missing out on? If you didn't YABVVU.

@Cocomarine No it wasn’t our era, but I distinctly remember her music as a small child and as I’ve got older. I know that doesn’t mean everyone does….I think it was more the book, not meaning had to have read it or really have any knowledge about it, but to never have heard of it, I don’t know how that happens 😅

Maybe one more date? To share similar cultural references is quite bonding so maybe one last chance just to see if you have more in common?

I worked with a bloke who had never heard of the Holocaust. He also thought Charles Dickens and Shakespeare were the same person. he had three kids. I did wonder how he would manage to bring them up!

He doesn’t know Kate Bush. Sack him off for that alone.

You're not on the same wavelength at all. In time you will begin to resent the fact. Life is too short, move on.

@LegendaryReady What?

Because it *Was an olive branch on the floor, it literally was one. He didn’t know the saying

@Cocomarine

"Can you name all the planets in order?"

Yes I can, but admittedly I took me quite a while to memorise.

But Kate Bush, come on 😂

Even my 20-something kids know her!

@Hellocatshome Does it frustrate you? If you want to have a conversation and can’t connect on that level?

Really bizarre that he can identify an olive branch but doesn't know the saying. I'd imagine for most it would be the other way round!

If you think you're not compatible with him, you're not. Move on.

@ILoveAllRainbowsx The book..initially, but he doesn’t know Kate bush or the song either.

He knows The Stone roses! If he didn’t, that would 100% be the end of it 😅

Strange. I remember many years ago being surprised somebody hadn't heard of 'Lord of the Flies'. It happens.

@Cocomarine You’re right, I can’t 🤣I know there was a rhyme we learnt about it in school though and I agree with what you’re saying..but..Wuthering heights

There was an actual olive branch on the floor when we were walking in the woods
You’ve got the ick with him not getting your references; he might get the ick with you calling the ground the floor!

'Superman!' 'Let me into you-or window' 'na na na naaah'

I’m struggling to understand why he randomly picked a stick up from the floor and declared its provenance. That’s the bit that would put me off, sounds like a rather strange thing to do.

Never heard of the superman party song in spite of having had an eighties childhood.

Wuthering heights - I can see why at his age this may have passed him by.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles Yes 😂 the branch itself is not really the issue

Yes that would put me off.

I do agree about 'floor' for ground, (since pp's mentioned it). Ugggh! (Likewise roof for ceiling and red for orange. Always seem to go together). Though, that's probably habit rather than true ignorance.

@mouldypears Wow.

You see, where can you go from there 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote Uribentmyspoon]@Cocomarine You’re right, I can’t 🤣I know there was a rhyme we learnt about it in school though and I agree with what you’re saying..but..Wuthering heights[/quote]
I actually find the not having heard of Kate Bush more surprising than the book! I can quite see that you could miss that.

But you know, I really didn’t care about pop music as a child, and I have plenty of moment with people saying, “HOW do you not know this?!”

Granted, it’s not on a level of not having heard of - say - Duran Duran. But it might be one of their famous songs playing and I haven’t ever heard it, or I’ve heard it but don’t know it’s them.

Look, I could accept a lot of that, as long as there is SOME shared cultural experience. The test you really need here:

Does he know what a Findus Crispy Pancake is - and more importantly, back in the day would get have thought them an amazing treat?

@Tiramiwho Not Greece and not on holiday, we both live here, but both from similar area in the U.K.

This reminded me of an ex that didn't know who Pink Floyd were. Thanks for reviving that long forgotten cringe!