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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to offer the photographers a wedding breakfast?

406 replies

realteal · 06/09/2021 19:12

Just wondering if this is cheeky or not. Maybe this is the done thing and I don’t know about it!

We are hoping to get married next year. There will be one photographer and his assistant. Their photos are great to be fair and we are very happy to have booked them.

We’ve just got the contract through. They have asked us to order two wedding breakfasts that they will eat in a side room.

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? We are paying them a four figure sum. Why can’t they bring a flask, a lunch bag and a packet of crisps like everyone else who goes out to work?!

Is this a common request?

OP posts:
beigebrownblue · 06/09/2021 21:37

The following is not 'rude' by the way, it is an opinion.
and as such I'm entitled to it.

Rude would be in many peoples book employing someone and not respecting what they do, who they are and how they need to earn a living

Bridezilla is not liked by many these days.
It is not sustainable.

And more importantly not sustainable. .

...

beigebrownblue

You have already shared your wedding and how you are treating potential employees at your wedding, with over a million mumsnet viewers.

I suggest that any creative staff you employ take photographs of the pathetic and paltry food you will be offering for the day whilst they are working so hard and they put it on their blog.

The internet works both ways.

You want to be a Bridezilla and not care about how other people feel.

They are perfectly entitled to do the same.

Your attitude is disgraceful.

Take your own photographs.

There’s no need to be so rude. The photographers ‘work hard’ but they’re being paid a lot of money to do so. They’re not doing OP a favour and don’t ‘deserve’ to be fed. It’s just easier depending on the flow of the event.

GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 21:40

@Backwaterjunction

Never heard of this, certainly never fed ours 🤣🤣🤣
Why does your lack of manners amuse you so much?
CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 21:40

@Gilly12345

I think it is cheeky but I have heard that feeding the Photographer is standard, my twin girls worked at a wedding venue while students and said this happened all the time.
Why do you think it's cheeky?
GreyhoundG1rl · 06/09/2021 21:42

It can't be cheeky to specify something that's totally standard. How does that work?

FibroidFanny · 06/09/2021 21:42

Quite normal around here and was specified in the contracts of all suppliers we looked at. Our venue did a supplier meal which was basically a main course of the wedding meal

FortunesFave · 06/09/2021 21:43

I think it's weird that this is the norm! As a freelancer myself (not photography) I'd never expect clients to feed me!

dopeyduck · 06/09/2021 21:44

Agree that you need to feed them a proper meal but it doesn't have to be the wedding breakfast. Ask your venue what they offer - or if you're doing something independent then either offer them what you're pricing quests or an alternative.

I actually think it's less awkward to have this conversation in advance so I'd be glad they brought it up.

Again band etc to be included in the evening catering.

ufucoffee · 06/09/2021 21:46

I've never ever heard of feeding photographers. No need.

HungryHippo11 · 06/09/2021 21:46

@StMarysKettle

Er yes it's normal to have to pay for a meal for your suppliers
I don't know why people are saying this like its so obvious and OP should know already. My work don't provide my lunch, why would it be expected that you provide lunch for someone who you have paid to be there.
FirewomanSam · 06/09/2021 21:47

Yeah I thought this was entirely standard! Nobody wants pictures of people eating so the photographers normally slip out and have something to eat at the bar or in a side room once dinner (sorry, the wedding breakfast!) is fully underway. I don’t think they are being cheeky to ask although maybe they should have just said ‘two meals’ rather than ‘two wedding breakfasts’ since that implies they’re expecting the full three courses, which I doubt is the case.

All the weddings I’ve been involved in had a very early start for the photographer, since they turned up to take pics of the couple getting ready in the morning - my own photographer came to my suite at about 8am to start taking pics. There’s no way I’d have expected her to survive the whole day on sandwiches brought from home!

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 21:47

Just to point out that if you are required to travel for business, your employer is expected to ensure that are reimbursed for your food outlay, pay mileage at hmrc rates, and pay for accommodation. By law.

You could argue that we could allow for that in our prices, which I do, for mileage, because that is a cost I can reliably account for prior to the event, but because subsistence costs vary according to venues and catering suppliers, some of which won't allow you to order at the event unless you have pre-booked, etc, and there isn't always the opportunity to do so on the day, which is why we request a modest meal to keep us going for the 12-14 hours we are with you during one of the most important days of your lives. For two people we're probably talking about £50.

HungryHippo11 · 06/09/2021 21:47

@FinallyHere

Would you honestly feel OK having a lovely meal while suggesting the photographers 'eat cake' ?
I would. I'm paying them to be there! Are you supposed to pay for a meal for the waitress, bar staff, cleaners as well?
LittleCatDog · 06/09/2021 21:48

We didn't give ours a wedding breakfast, it never came up. They brought their own food.

Gwenhwyfar · 06/09/2021 21:48

@FortunesFave

I think it's weird that this is the norm! As a freelancer myself (not photography) I'd never expect clients to feed me!
Some freelancers do though. Conference interpreters going to an event, for example, will insist on being allowed to eat the same thing as other participants even though they're paid hundreds a day for the job. I think it's to do with not being treated differently/less than others.
mrsevangelina · 06/09/2021 21:48

Pretty sure this is standard - one of my friends is a wedding photographer and he says he gets the meal (in a different room) at 95% of the weddings he works.

Gwenhwyfar · 06/09/2021 21:48

"Are you supposed to pay for a meal for the waitress, bar staff, cleaners as well?"

The catering staff often get the leftovers. I've seen the minister invited too.

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 21:50

@ufucoffee

I've never ever heard of feeding photographers. No need.
Why? Do we have superpowers that mean we don't need to eat or drink!?
Iminthelibrary · 06/09/2021 21:50

DH sometimes photographs weddings and I have occasionally helped out. He is on his feet from 7am sometimes until 10pm and would have very little time to find somewhere to eat let alone prepare food. Most people want all aspects of the wedding photographed and it is incredibly hard work. During the wedding meal is practically the only time he has 10 mins to eat.

gwenneh · 06/09/2021 21:51

"Are you supposed to pay for a meal for the waitress, bar staff, cleaners as well?"

They are employees of the venue, so it's slightly different than an outside freelancer coming in.

Also your waitresses, bar staff, etc. are not working as long a day as your photographer, who is often there from the start of "getting ready" to the end of the evening.

Bar staff, wait staff, etc. can also work in shifts. Unless you hire more than one photographer, they cannot.

CorpusCallosum · 06/09/2021 21:53

Check with your venue/caterer. Ours did a different (cheaper!) meal for photographer, band etc.

TractorAndHeadphones · 06/09/2021 21:55

@Gwenhwyfar

"Are you supposed to pay for a meal for the waitress, bar staff, cleaners as well?"

The catering staff often get the leftovers. I've seen the minister invited too.

We don’t if it’s a formal dinner paid for per head. There’s usually staff food prepared that’s easy to eat on the go , like a simpler version of the main course.

Again the emphasis isn’t on being ‘inclusive’, ‘courteous’ or whatever - just practicalities. If you want staff fully focused on the event providing everything keeps things flowing smoothly. And it doesn’t cost a bomb either.

CandyLeBonBon · 06/09/2021 21:55

I used to organise conferences and events. The staff we hired were absolutely entitled to be fed as part of their contract, even though they were freelancers. It's really not unusual. And I'm going back to the 90s here.

Septembe66 · 06/09/2021 21:56

GreyhoundG1rl they would still have charged extra for the photographer regardless. They paid for 50 guests and were charged for 50 guests although only 46 were going. Only because her future husband knew the wedding coordinator. Otherwise they would have been charged. A family member a few months ago in the same circumstances had to pay for photographer and videographer even though they had guests not turn up. When you pay for x amount they charge you regardless of how many actually turn up

TractorAndHeadphones · 06/09/2021 21:57

@gwenneh

"Are you supposed to pay for a meal for the waitress, bar staff, cleaners as well?"

They are employees of the venue, so it's slightly different than an outside freelancer coming in.

Also your waitresses, bar staff, etc. are not working as long a day as your photographer, who is often there from the start of "getting ready" to the end of the evening.

Bar staff, wait staff, etc. can also work in shifts. Unless you hire more than one photographer, they cannot.

Bar/wait staff meals are included in the cost of catering. They shouldn’t ask you to pay an itemised extra.
WomanStanleyWoman · 06/09/2021 21:58

The following is not 'rude' by the way, it is an opinion. and as such I'm entitled to it.

You do realise that the previous poster was entitled to her opinion that you were being rude?

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