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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to offer the photographers a wedding breakfast?

406 replies

realteal · 06/09/2021 19:12

Just wondering if this is cheeky or not. Maybe this is the done thing and I don’t know about it!

We are hoping to get married next year. There will be one photographer and his assistant. Their photos are great to be fair and we are very happy to have booked them.

We’ve just got the contract through. They have asked us to order two wedding breakfasts that they will eat in a side room.

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? We are paying them a four figure sum. Why can’t they bring a flask, a lunch bag and a packet of crisps like everyone else who goes out to work?!

Is this a common request?

OP posts:
WelliesWithHeels · 06/09/2021 21:04

I've planned large high end events for over a decade. We always provide food for our vendors and volunteers. Here's what kept our vendors (photographers, lighting specialists, DJ/band, auctioneer, MC, wait staff, florists, etc) happy and loyal:

First, I set up a side room with several sets of tables and chairs. Simple black linens, nothing fancy. Also set up a few long rectangle tables along the wall for setting up meals and for room for them to store purses/chargers/spare lenses/etc. This room is stocked with waters the entire time.

Day before, (set up): I provide bagels, fruit, yogurts, muffins along with coffee, tea, OJ for the morning crew. Lunch is always brought in something simple like deli trays and salads or pizzas and salads. I offer sodas with lunch. In the evening, the lighting crew and I have to wait till after dark to dial in the lighting elements, so I bring dinner (always fast food burgers because that's their favorite). (Sorry for the formatting fail; too lazy to fix!)

Day of event: same breakfast is provided. Later in the day, I have a hot and cold buffet set up and ask the caterer to keep it stocked with the components of the main meal that translate to family style presentation (ie, we will be serving each guest a fancily plated individual salad, but for the vendor room they'll take the same ingredients and make a large bowl of tossed salad). This works because the vendors get to enjoy the same nice food as the guests but it's served in a way where they can help themselves when it works for them to break away, which will obviously be different times for each trade. I also always put out a large bowl of fun sized candy bars if anyone needs a sugar boost. It's a long day!

Day after event (break down and clean up):
Since most of the vendors will have had a long day, I try and make this a hot breakfast. I generally have a local favorite breakfast spot deliver an assortment of breakfast burritos and breakfast sandwiches. I have each serving cut in half and wrapped individually so it's easy to grab and go and not a whole production to sit down and eat.

It's an extra expense, but not expensive, if that makes sense. Muffin and deli trays and drinks from Costco, pizza from the local 2 for 1 place, caterer charges much less for buffet style vs. plated. I think it's worth every penny. I am relying on talented professionals to work their tails off and it's in my best interest if they feel cared for and comfortable. I can't tell you how many times that care and consideration has been returned. My lighting crew comes from three hours away and they are so grateful they are catered for on site and I'm grateful that they happily stay into the night with me until we get the look just right because they don't have to figure out where to get dinner and rush to get there before closing time. The few times I've had day-of emergencies, my vendors move heaven and earth to fix the problem and they'll pitch in to help each other and me, going above and beyond their contracted duties, if need be.
Anyway, my long winded point is that the extra niceties pay off in spades and if your talented photographers have worked out that ensuring two meals are available for them vs. dragging along lunch bags/looking for somewhere to store them (and I think it's polite to ask for what you are already serving; I'd be annoyed to have to ask the caterer to prepare a separate meal type) then there's nothing cheeky about it and I think it's a very basic and simple request Smile

Trinacham · 06/09/2021 21:05

Yes - pretty sure I remember we had to feed the photographer, so think it is usual.

myheartskippedabeat · 06/09/2021 21:06

Why on earth wouldn't you want to feed them??????
I think that's incredibly selfish if they are there hours on end
It's standard to feed photographers

gwenneh · 06/09/2021 21:06

@Streamside

The other concern about leaving the site is that I carry around at least 20k of equipment, within which will be the precious memory cards with your wedding photos. If I leave the premises all that has to go in my boot and it's a risk
Exactly.

Of course a photographer has insured their equipment, but at the end of it if something happens I'd get my equipment back, but your wedding photos are still gone.

cravingmilkshake · 06/09/2021 21:07

We too paid a 4 figure sum, like most others....You just add on to the cost of your wedding..... our photographer actually stipulated in their contract so you might want to check that. He ordered from the regular hotel menu and it was added to our bill on check out.

lobsteroll · 06/09/2021 21:10

It's definitely not a cheeky request and totally standard to provide a hot meal for the suppliers that are going to be with you pretty much all day.

You don't have to serve the same food as the guests are eating. Caterers are used to providing "supplier meals" at a lower cost.

They will be literally on their feet for at least 8 hours, making sure they capture the best images of your day and you would begrudge them one meal? Most people would eat lunch AND dinner within that timeframe.

You should check the rest of your contacts as well. If you've got a band performing it's likely they will want feeding too.

PlasticDinosaur · 06/09/2021 21:14

We fed our wedding photographer and @ohthatbloodycat - yup I feed my tradies. They work happier and prioritise my future requests.

thetaleunfolds · 06/09/2021 21:15

Very common request. I usually leave my house at 9am and get home 10pm or 11pm from a wedding. Of course I take food but soggy, warm sandwiches and packets of crisps only sustain you so far. Being able to sit down and have a decent meal gives me energy for the evening. Not to mention that the majority of venues I work at are miles and miles away from anywhere I can get my own meal, and would mean a decent chunk of time away from your wedding because I do need to eat/have a decent break

Venues are well versed in giving vendor meals which are not the same cost as a guests plate. Some venues give them for free/included in the package

At least photographers arent unionised like most musicians who will flat out refuse to play if you don’t feed them BEFORE they even start their set 😉

Gilly12345 · 06/09/2021 21:15

I think it is cheeky but I have heard that feeding the Photographer is standard, my twin girls worked at a wedding venue while students and said this happened all the time.

WomanStanleyWoman · 06/09/2021 21:16

@SmallPrawnEnergy

I am feeding ours. They have spaces in our table plan too. Imagine treating them like people not slaves Shock
Yeah, in the Deep South in the 1800s you couldn’t move for slaves earning four-figure sums for a day’s work.
NinjaExodus · 06/09/2021 21:16

@idontlikealdi

Mine stayed up until we had sat down. We did a fake cake cut to get the photos done. The difference in price was ridiculous I just couldn't justify it and I'm glad we didn't. I can't remember now it was 15 years ago but I think we paid around 1.5 and it would have been 3.5 if they stayed on. The album has been under our bed for at least ten years and nit looked at 😂
I never look at my photos either and we've been happily married for over 20 years,

Reading the thread it sounds like that intrusive reportage stalky nonsense.

OP YABU if you think it's worth spending 4k on photos (wtf?) you can spare the cost of two meals.

LaPufalina · 06/09/2021 21:17

I'm going to escalate things by telling you that our photographer sat on the top table to eat his Grin my 2yo bridesmaid niece was not happy and had been sent home with her other grandparents so he got a promotion from the side room (I knew the photographer before I knew my now husband to be fair, so knew he was good company!)

FatLarrysBand · 06/09/2021 21:18

'Yeah, in the Deep South in the 1800s you couldn’t move for slaves earning four-figure sums for a day’s work.'

😂😂😂😂😂

NinjaExodus · 06/09/2021 21:19

@FatLarrysBand

'Yeah, in the Deep South in the 1800s you couldn’t move for slaves earning four-figure sums for a day’s work.'

😂😂😂😂😂

Grin
KimchiJjigae · 06/09/2021 21:20

Some venues offer packages of a meals for suppliers, ours had this in our booking info. It's pretty standard. We offered our photographer a meal but he declined and said he brought his own food. I think the evening suppliers i.e. dance floor set up etc. were offered to help themselves to the buffet in advance.

butterry · 06/09/2021 21:22

Yes we fed the photographers and the band but it wasn’t the same food as guests. I remember caterers asked about it too so I think it’s standard/expected.

bellsbuss · 06/09/2021 21:25

We got married a few weeks ago and asked our photographer and band what refreshments they would like. They really appreciated being asked.

ZoyaTheDestroyer · 06/09/2021 21:27

OP YABU if you think it's worth spending 4k on photos (wtf?) you can spare the cost of two meals.

Four figures, not 4k!

gwenneh · 06/09/2021 21:31

Yeah, in the Deep South in the 1800s you couldn’t move for slaves earning four-figure sums for a day’s work.

Oh good -- sure the photographers will be pleased to know it's a day of work only, no days of post-processing required. Hand the card over out of the camera, job done, enjoy!

Gwenhwyfar · 06/09/2021 21:32

"Does your employer feed you?! grin"

I get luchoen vouchers at the moment.
I did once work somewhere were I was obliged to attend posh dinners, but my food was not covered. They did reimburse me for a bar meal or I could bring a sandwich and go outside to eat it, but I felt a bit humiliated by it to be honest.

WomanStanleyWoman · 06/09/2021 21:33

@gwenneh

Yeah, in the Deep South in the 1800s you couldn’t move for slaves earning four-figure sums for a day’s work.

Oh good -- sure the photographers will be pleased to know it's a day of work only, no days of post-processing required. Hand the card over out of the camera, job done, enjoy!

Alright then; two days. Pretty sure my point on the slavery comparison still stands.
PoshWatchShitShoes · 06/09/2021 21:35

Normal request for suppliers. My venue did a reduced price for these. We paid for the photographers' meals and didn't question it. They're there to focus on your wedding, rather than wondering when/what/if they'll have chance to eat.

Backwaterjunction · 06/09/2021 21:36

Never heard of this, certainly never fed ours 🤣🤣🤣

Crowtooyo · 06/09/2021 21:37

My employer feeds me as I'm not able to take a lunch break.

Howareyouflower · 06/09/2021 21:37

Our photographers didn't ask us to provide food. They were given another room and we told them to order what they liked and put it on our bill. Why would we not feed them?