Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to offer the photographers a wedding breakfast?

406 replies

realteal · 06/09/2021 19:12

Just wondering if this is cheeky or not. Maybe this is the done thing and I don’t know about it!

We are hoping to get married next year. There will be one photographer and his assistant. Their photos are great to be fair and we are very happy to have booked them.

We’ve just got the contract through. They have asked us to order two wedding breakfasts that they will eat in a side room.

AIBU to think this is a bit cheeky? We are paying them a four figure sum. Why can’t they bring a flask, a lunch bag and a packet of crisps like everyone else who goes out to work?!

Is this a common request?

OP posts:
Kite22 · 06/09/2021 23:58

It's happened at every wedding I've been to.

Are you a wedding photographer?

Or is this the level of investigating of other people's business that you go in to when a guest at a function ? Confused

Millicentsparty · 07/09/2021 00:00

@CandyLeBonBon
"There are plenty of others who are prepared to work in poor conditions, for peanuts and 'exposure bucks'. I guess that's the kind of person you'd probably want to hire."

Yeah, I'd be hiring Katie's. Brought his own food and did a great job.

@KatieKat88
"My wedding photographer brought his own! And was a bargain and did a great job. He then got at least two other weddings off the back of us singing his praises. Shop around and find someone else!"

Millicentsparty · 07/09/2021 00:04

@Explosivefarts
In that case they just wouldn’t take you on a client if it’s clearly in their contract.

It's immaterial whether they'd take me on as a client because I would never have offered them the job.

AmadeustheAlpaca · 07/09/2021 00:20

@Explosivefarts. Nope, paying for wedding photographers food is unheard of in the Edinburgh circles I move in. Why do posters need to get unnecessarily snippy? Other posters have disagreed with me but not been sarky.
OP, your photographers are cheeky and rude and I would cancel their contract. Lots of people work long shifts and bring their own packed lunch and if they wanted a meal, fair enough, but to request a wedding breakfast is laughable if it wasn’t so greedy

HopingForOurRainbowBaby · 07/09/2021 00:27

@LeanneBrownsLonelyBraincell

You should feed them?????

Shiiiiiiit.......

Mind you ours only stuck around until the end of the pre reception drinks so maybe it was different

I don't remember feeding ours, although then again he did disappear whilst we were eating to go check our photos had turned out ok and then came back later on because a lot of them hadn't due to the weather. So maybe he ate whilst he was away for those couple of hours.
Nat6999 · 07/09/2021 00:29

My wedding photographer only stayed at the reception venue long enough to do the family groups, photos of me & dh in the gardens & mock cutting of the cake then she left. She had worked from 1.00pm to 4.30pm & had taken all the shots we asked for. I think she had a coffee after she finished & then left.

backtolifebacktoreality · 07/09/2021 00:29

I'd be happy to feed them but not the expensive sit down meal your wedding guests are having. Can the hotel do them a different (but nice and substantial) meal? Hopefully the photographers are not expecting a three or four course meal?

Hillary17 · 07/09/2021 00:30

Normal to offer - and the decent thing to do! Most venues are in the middle of nowhere, they can’t just pop out. We offered our photographer but he declined the meal and instead asked if he could take half an hour to pop out down the road. Fine by me but do you want to risk not getting the perfect photo?

Explosivefarts · 07/09/2021 00:32

[quote AmadeustheAlpaca]@Explosivefarts. Nope, paying for wedding photographers food is unheard of in the Edinburgh circles I move in. Why do posters need to get unnecessarily snippy? Other posters have disagreed with me but not been sarky.
OP, your photographers are cheeky and rude and I would cancel their contract. Lots of people work long shifts and bring their own packed lunch and if they wanted a meal, fair enough, but to request a wedding breakfast is laughable if it wasn’t so greedy[/quote]
Well it’s certainly not unheard of in Glasgow. I wasn’t being snippy but you were speaking as though your experience was the experience of everyone in an entire country. Saying it was unheard of when as I pointed out that is clearly not the case at all.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 07/09/2021 00:34

I never knew this was a thing at all!

Mind you, we only had the photographer there until before we ate.

Ozanj · 07/09/2021 01:31

It’s standard. The venue will have special meals for staff. In UK Indian weddings where you have mass catering you also have to pay for enough covers to feed the wait staff, chefs, and often a lot of leftover food may go to other smaller weddings who might have had shortfalls. So compared to that you’re lucky.

HungryHippo11 · 07/09/2021 01:58

The difference between feeding a wedding vendor compared to a plumber/electrician etc is there is often nowhere for a wedding photographer to actually go to eat their food - other than their car
All the workmen I have ever had to the house have done exactly that, eaten sandwiches in their car for lunch. I don't make them a cooked meal and invite them to eat it at my dining room table (although my grandparents do, they're always having the gardener, cleaner and other workers for coffee or lunch)

CandyLeBonBon · 07/09/2021 07:00

[quote Millicentsparty]@CandyLeBonBon
"In which case, most good, experienced and highly professional photographers would take note of that mindset, prior to any booking conversation, and subsequent avoid working for you,"

They wouldn't need to bother avoiding me, I'd have already sacked them off. And if meant others heard on the grapevine and declined to consider me, good. It'd save me time listening to them and then sacking them off too. For the prices they charge, they can sort their own food out.[/quote]
A d that's absolutely your prerogative. I'm not sure why you're being so hostile about it though!

londonrach · 07/09/2021 07:04

Never heard of that. I certainly didn't neither did my sister. Very strange.

waitingpatientlyforspring · 07/09/2021 07:09

I only became aware of this through tik tok this week!

It does seem cheeky to ask especially to put it in the contract. Most of us don't routinely get a paid for meal at work so I'm not sure why photographers are any different.

However, it seems to be the norm so I guess you have to suck it up. Like some have suggested, the meal doesn't have to be the same meal the guests are getting so see if the venue will do a bar meal or something.

CandyLeBonBon · 07/09/2021 07:36

@waitingpatientlyforspring

I only became aware of this through tik tok this week!

It does seem cheeky to ask especially to put it in the contract. Most of us don't routinely get a paid for meal at work so I'm not sure why photographers are any different.

However, it seems to be the norm so I guess you have to suck it up. Like some have suggested, the meal doesn't have to be the same meal the guests are getting so see if the venue will do a bar meal or something.

If you read through the thread many of us have explained why
ohthestruggles · 07/09/2021 07:46

@Tinkles78

I think it's fairly normal to feed your photographers. Our hotel suggested we let them order a normal main meal from the bar menu and they ate as we were eating. It was only about £10-15 each for their meals. They worked an incredibly long day and didn't leave til 10pm, it was the least I could do!
They aren't volunteers!
gogohm · 07/09/2021 07:56

Food yes but necessarily the same food. However it depends what your contract is - our photographer went home before we ate

whatthejiggeries · 07/09/2021 08:00

I think giving them food is fine but not an expensive wedding breakfast - I would also tell them to select from the bar menu. That said I don't see why they can't buy their own lunch they can claim it back on expenses

youdoyoutoday · 07/09/2021 08:02

I got quotes a little while ago and 1 photographer expected to be fed and put up in a hotel for 2 nights (before and after) and for me to pay for it and then pay his charge on top Confused

The photographer who I've booked said I didn't need to provide anything like that for her as she working, she's not a guest so I guess they're all different.

Brefugee · 07/09/2021 08:02

I irrationally find the term “wedding breakfast” annoying

same. Unless you're having the full mass and not eating before (and even then -meh)

Original poster
realteal · 07/09/2021 08:04

@youdoyoutoday

I got quotes a little while ago and 1 photographer expected to be fed and put up in a hotel for 2 nights (before and after) and for me to pay for it and then pay his charge on top Confused

The photographer who I've booked said I didn't need to provide anything like that for her as she working, she's not a guest so I guess they're all different.

Shock
OP posts:
purplecarrot23 · 07/09/2021 08:08

Nothing cheeky about that.

Feed them

They will be in their feet all day and need a proper meal.

I fed our photographer, videographer, wedding band and DJ. Suck it up!

youdoyoutoday · 07/09/2021 08:08

I know, right?

I told my DP that I'm not prepared to scrimp on the photos but even I nearly fainted at that!!

shouldistop · 07/09/2021 08:09

We fed our photographer and also told the band to help themselves to the buffet and cake at the reception.