To ask what really posh folk are like?

[hahahayoumustbejoking]

Someone on MN recently said that posh people were very friendly and polite but actually wouldn't tend to get close to people outside their close circle and were quite guarded.

Just wondering if anyone has any other insights or stories of the posh, good or bad.

DC's dad's family are really posh. Old money. They (her grandparents) have impeccable manners and are generous to a fault. Lovely people. MIL makes the queen sound a bit common.

The younger generation are a mix of entirely normal people, you'd never guess their upbringing and err upper class twits.

They (grandparents) tend to mostly mix with people like them - because that's broadly who they meet and know. In the same way that the majority (not all) of my friends are MC.

@VladmirsPoutine

I've lived in quite a few different European countries and no one is more obsessed with class than the Brits - it's utterly mystifying.

It mystifies me too. I don’t want to ascribe it to a slavish mentality that actually wants to be ruled by what it considers its ‘betters’, but it’s hard to know how to account for it otherwise.

I like the word backronym. Does what it says on the tin.

IME in general, it depends what you mean by posh.

If you mean old money landed gentry then yes, they prefer their own circle IME or the staff or locals they know and stereotypically dislike the middle class/Hyacinths. They don't always have money or available money if it's tied up in estates. The stereotype would be behaving so they never unknowingly giving offence though I've found that somewhat more the exception that the rule.

If you mean the very wealthy new money UHNWI then again sometimes suspicious of outsiders who might be interested in their money but arguably more try-hard with conspicuous positioninal consumption.

Regarding stories then many. What kind are you interested?

MN posh threads remind me of when daytime TV shows get someone in to enlighten us on what the Queen might have for breakfast.

Such a bizarre thread. I suppose I know a few posh people, a friend with a country estate and London pad, MIL who was from good stock, went to boarding school etc but penniless, an ex boyfriend who is an Earl (was then a Viscount). DD went to a prestigious school with a couple famous old family names. My experience is that are not a homogeneous group…

What are really working class people like?
What are middle class people like?
What are poor people like?
What are rich people like?
What are 8 year old girls like
What are 2 year old boys like
What are 80 year olds like etc etc etc
These are all impossible to answer surely.

Totally impossible to answer any of these question. Depends on the person involved and the person giving the opinion.

My MIL is from a very posh background, although most of the money was gambled / pissed up the wall many years ago. She’s probably the most hospitable and welcoming person I’ve ever met, really active too - I hardly ever see her sitting down.

I’m from a working class background and used to think taking off my shoes at the door was good manners. She set me straight - apparently it’s not?!!

Depends what you mean by ‘posh’. If you mean old money, rural, horsey types then I have met a few through MIL. They are lovely retired ladies who all went to ‘good’ schools and married well. Many of their husbands did ‘something in the city’.
They are involved in running the local hunt & pony club, they swear liberally and are generally great fun as long as you speak the horsey lingo and you don’t mind filling a haynet if asked. If you don’t know which end bites & which kicks, they might consider you ‘a bet wet’, which is not a compliment. They remind me of Camilla P-B, who comes from a very similar ‘set’.

Ahh I love these threads so full of stereotypes and the relentless chippiness towards people that have - shock horror! - earned their money.

I’m a bit posh and a bit nouveau riche. Definitions of course vary, but my family money bought me my private school education, the inherited furniture and the 250 year old china collection.

My money bought me the yacht.

It blows my mind that the former gives me some sort of credibility and respect that the latter apparently does not.

I know a guy who is a cousin of Beatrice and Eugenie, he is extremely ‘posh’ and you couldn’t meet a nicer person, his manners are impeccable and he is just a very pleasant human being.

What do you mean by posh?
Genuine question.
Do you mean financially well off. Very educated? Plummy voice? Inherited wealth?

@ohthatbloodycat

I live in a very posh street with houses that are worth millions (not a stealth boast, as my wee flat isn't!) and they are very much old money. We often have tradesmen on our street: chimney sweeps (yes, they do still exist ), painters, scaffolders, you get the picture. Often I see my neighbours - most of them are older - chatting and having a laugh with them. That's true class, being able to relate to most people.

Oh does that mean I have class? My chimney sweep came today (honestly) and I had a long chat with him as I always do. I thought that was just being normal and not too busy…

@PegasusReturns

Ahh I love these threads so full of stereotypes and the relentless chippiness towards people that have - shock horror! - earned their money.

I’m a bit posh and a bit nouveau riche. Definitions of course vary, but my family money bought me my private school education, the inherited furniture and the 250 year old china collection.

My money bought me the yacht.

It blows my mind that the former gives me some sort of credibility and respect that the latter apparently does not.

But are you ‘hail fellow well met’ with the sweep and binman, covered in Labrador hair, and drive said Lab around in your rattletrap jeep looking twinkly and bedraggled? You’re not the right type according to Mn, otherwise.

@VladmirsPoutine

I've lived in quite a few different European countries and no one is more obsessed with class than the Brits - it's utterly mystifying.

I’ve always thought it must be a product of countries which industrialised and capitalised very quickly, as England did. Suddenly, a couple of hundred years ago and onwards a whole vast group of people emerged making huge sums of money through industry and business - often more money than those who held money through the traditional means like title and land ownership. And so a whole complex method of establishing, retaining, upholding, behaving and talking about who you were in society and how you had gotten there came about so that everyone could continue to know their place.

That stands out, anyway, in all the “middle class or working class” threads where MNers who consider themselves middle class declare a whole random bunch of bizarre things markers of being middle or working class and titter about working class people using the wrong words for things. When how much you earn, the type of house you live in and the lifestyle you can afford are no longer defined by the job you do, your education or your social background, you begin to make up defensive ways of communicating your status and putting others down.

I know a guy who is a cousin of Beatrice and Eugenie, he is extremely ‘posh’

I know a person who is the father of Beatrice and Eugenie, 'posh' and titled and you could meet more of a ................

I've lived in quite a few different European countries and no one is more obsessed with class than the Brits - it's utterly mystifying

I think it's an English thing more than a Scots, Welsh or Irish thing. Seriously grew up in Scotland and couldn't give a stuff about accent, wealth or 'title'. It's a mystery to me who comes up with this class nonsense. .

Posh although as a term nebulous and hard to pin down, is fun to try and classify. I would notice certain habits or tendencies that although general and not applicable to all, would be a litmuss test of 'poshness'. These are more behavioral markers rather than character - good character transcends posh or other 'class'.

For true posh, your family will be landowners ie an estate and or titled or own significant assets (funds). No exceptions. Anything else is just 'rich'. You can be poor/posh of course but this means your family had those things, and lost them. So posh parameters established, typical markers are:

• Lady - may look like a harridan day to day, covered in mud, dogs and horticulture. Come the Christmas shindig will chuck on the Vivienne Westwood ball gown (not new) and family diamonds with an updo and look like a younger Elizabeth.
• If giving a dinner party and something untoward happens such as a mouse appearing, will laugh, ignore or shoot it. A middle class host will go bright red and leave the country.
• Charming and polite without being obsequious
• May use mummy and daddy as an adult to address their parents.
• Will have a super posh name like Arabella Victoria Sebag Rothschild - and her family will call her Rabbit
• Will not care that posh people say 'smart' rather than 'posh' - that red herring is left in the Debretts guide for the aspiring middle class wannabes that read it to correct each other.
• Trust fund
• Born abroad
• Horsey
• Volvo/battered vehicle
• Somewhat unaware e.g will invite you for a cup of tea in their garden which will turn out to be Chatsworth House
• When they ask you where you went to school, they don't mean Brentwood Primary but which major private school (if it's in Tatler, name it, if not say you were sent abroad).
• A tonne of other points, a nanny, supper, nursery, country pursuits etc!

That was fun, can we do do a middle class one?

Like every other group of people, they are all different to each other.

@nayday yes lets do a middle class one! Except you were so good at the 'posh' one I want to see what you'll write

@Hoppinggreen, do you speak Iripoo?

Hard times for gold diggers the very grand and wealthy pretty much only marry each other.

Go on @nayday do a Middle Class one.

@Nayday please do one

You know, there are whole different levels of posh. To quote the MP Jess Philips 'I thought I'd met posh people but I'd actually just met people who ate olives.'

I've met some fairly posh people in my time, but not people with titles, just people who had been to public schools for a couple of generations. They are as varied as anyone else, but one thing they do have in common: they can sniff out someone who wants to know them because they are posh. They don't like it.