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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hate the school run

217 replies

CandyFIosss · 06/09/2021 00:05

Does anyone else hate the school run? I honestly dread it, I hate it and if I never had to do it again I would be happy, it seem unusual though and most parents seem to love it! Does anyone else hate it?

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 06/09/2021 07:15

I didn’t mind it.
I didn’t like getting wet - why does it always rain at 8.30 and 3.30? And I didn’t like the way my day had to revolve around it but apart from that I used to just turn up, smile at some people, maybe have a brief chat with a couple and then leave.
I didn’t love it but it was fine

fourminutestosavetheworld · 06/09/2021 07:19

It sounds as if the biggest stress for people is standing on the playground, and the constant reminder - or belief - that everyone else knows each other, that they're all friends. I teach and can tell you that that is definitely not true. Every year, parents tell me pretty much what is in your op. The ones who hate it drop the kids off a few minutes early, before most people arrive, or at the very last minute so they can drop and go.

Okbye · 06/09/2021 07:20

I hate it too. I don't want to smile or be friendly or speak to anyone, just want to drop off/pick up and go and get on with my day 😄

Cattitudes · 06/09/2021 07:22

@Rangoon

I don't understand this. I pulled up and stopped outside the school. The child got out of the car and went into the school and into the classroom. What was I not doing? I think the principal of the private school my son briefly attended was a little surprised when he arrived on his first day on his own after travelling by bus. I guess I took the instructions about parents not lurking in the school grounds a bit too literally. My children mostly walked home with classmates or neighbour's kids. Sometimes they took a train for one stop instead of walking.
Generally in England state schools you cannot do that sort of drop off with a four year old. Maybe by 9 or 10. You have to walk/bus or park somewhere in the vicinity of the school and then walk the child into the school and hand them over to the teacher. You then need to reverse that in the afternoon, factoring in time for buses being late/ no where to park. I think my dc's school would have called social services if you had sent a 4yr old on a bus unaccompanied. Generally unless very rural dedicated school busses are only for secondary school children.

I didn't mind the school run occasionally other than the stress of not knowing what the traffic would be like. Now secondary school is closer and they just walk. I make up for the lack of interaction with others by arranging walks and coffees with friends.

Northernsoullover · 06/09/2021 07:25

Ah, those days are well over for me Wink. What I hated was having to leave in the afternoon an hour before pick up to be able to park anywhere near the school. Walking wasn't an option as the school wasn't in Walking distance. It wasn't on a bus route or safe cycle route either before anyone suggests I should have done that.

CinnamonJellyBeans · 06/09/2021 07:30

OP. If you do not have to rush to work after dropping off your kids, then it's a bit of a shame that you don't enjoy the time with them.

Learn to like it by being organised and trying to find ways to make it fun. If you're not enjoying the drop offs and pick ups, then neither are they. Why subject your kids to that?

You need to make it better for you and them, not seek validation from people to excuse finding your kids a chore 10x a week.

MoonCowbag · 06/09/2021 07:31

My eldest is just starting school this year. This thread surprises me and I wonder what horrors I have got ahead of me. Shock

Although we will be driving as school is in next village an 8-10 minute drive away. And only doing the proper school run twice a week as we'll use BC and ASC the other days. So I think I have it relatively "easy".

I don't know if the school mums will be cliquey yet, but if they are I'll just smile and keep to myself I guess. I've done that most of my life anyway TBH. Grin

I suspect the things I disliked about nursery/preschool mornings will be the same for school TBH. So battling over sun cream being the No. 1 but at least that isn't all year. And then just the general rush when kids are throwing tantrums over every little thing and we're running late.

OP how much would a taxi for the journey cost? I know you are a single parent, but would it be affordable even some of the time? Could you do a mix of walking days and taxi days? If your youngest could scoot or bike to school that could make walking easier?

PileOfBooks · 06/09/2021 07:31

I really liked it when they were in infants. I loved listening to them chatter about their day on the way home and loved the walk. I have made some lovely friends chatting to people at school as well as some "friends for the season."

I was quite sad when my eldest wdnt to secondary as there's lots of mums Ive passed time with for 7 years that I enjoyed chatting to but weren't actual friends and realised I wouldn't see them again. A bit like when you leave a job and your "friends" at work were just work friends.

I do love hearing all about their day on the way home or walking home with friends and chatting.

However I can see the other side. I have 2 children and I can imagine 4 children would be beyond me. We also don't need to take a crowded bus. I would truly hate that and can see the stress that would cause.

I have never liked the afternoon being broken up by school and the limit on availability for work- that will be great once both at secondary.

But I will miss it.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 06/09/2021 07:32

I missed it during lockdowns so can’t really complain!

stepupandbecounted · 06/09/2021 07:32

Enforced small talk.

Depending on the day you are having can be very painful day after day. Unless you are one of those parents that never speaks to anyone else, and comes across aloof and rude, but even that looks like an effort to me.

It was a lovely day when the youngest left primary.

thislifetoo · 06/09/2021 07:34

I actually really like the other parents in ds year and since covid stuff and having to separate year groups at drop off and pick up it's been nice and everyone's bonded and got to know each other (before it was really separate and cliquey) but now it's going back to usual drop off arrangements and I'm dreading it, I hated the school run before! I love the walk home chatting with my sons though.

Hoppinggreen · 06/09/2021 07:35

One thing I did absolutely love about the school run was that it was just me and DS alone in the car for 15 minutes with no devices/TV/other people etc and we had some brilliant conversations.
Now he’s at Secondary I miss that. We do still talk but there are often distractions so those 15 minutes every day that we’re just us we’re wonderful and I miss them

stepupandbecounted · 06/09/2021 07:36

Once out of the playground and a big hug with children, it is possible to enjoy the rest of the school run and chatter from dc. It is just the waiting around, and if you are tired/grieving or stressed it can be hard work to say the least.

Mothership4two · 06/09/2021 07:37

Haven't done a school run in years but still remember how much I hated the morning run. Had two very different personalities to get out the door, one with ADHD, so not good on time management (at 22, he's still not) and pretty disorganised. Had to drive as too far to walk and no bus, so once we'd fought through traffic, would then join the bun fight of trying to find a space and inconsiderate drivers. What fun... not!

Totally get it OP.

SoupDragon · 06/09/2021 07:38

I used to love it as I had a good group of friends to chat to whilst waiting. I miss it now!

Littlecaf · 06/09/2021 07:40

I usually felt indifferent about it but last Nov, when we had that second lockdown and the kids were at school, it was my only adult interaction for the day - would see other parents on the school run and actually get to talk to someone else!

GoodnightGrandma · 06/09/2021 07:42

I liked it because, as a SAHM with a DH who worked away, it was my only source of adult company.

BerylReader · 06/09/2021 07:42

I’m with you OP. Hate the fact it’s gone back to how it was. Particularly the waiting for them to come out in the afternoon. Am definitely going for the go stand away from groups of parents. I just don’t want to do the small talk and the breezy smiles and greetings.

IHateFlies · 06/09/2021 07:42

I hate the school run on the days I work as it’s so stressful but love it on the days I don’t. I love holidays most when I don’t have to get up for anything.

GiveMeAUserName123 · 06/09/2021 07:43

I hate it after a few weeks, but during the 6 week holidays and lockdown I miss it! It gets me up washed dressed and out.

GiveMeAUserName123 · 06/09/2021 07:44

I don’t use it for adult company though, I talk to no one, straight in, straight out….because I’m miserable and like it that way

mogsrus · 06/09/2021 07:46

i often wonder just how far those on a school run have actually travelled,as our next door neighbour took her child 1/2 a mile, what an absolute waste,twice a day

Original poster
CandyFIosss · 06/09/2021 07:47

I’m surprised people are saying they get to the school gate and “Chuck” theirs in? Maybe why it’s different for me as I have to take each child to their individual class, they are not allowed to go in on their own, meaning walking round the entire school and waiting at each class, they are also not allowed to meet me anywhere and the teachers won’t let them until they see the parents so no can’t ask them to let them meet me somewhere, don’t so can’t just pull up and the school and they go in, even if they did I don’t think that would be allowed as youngest is 4.

OP posts:
Parttimemostofthetime · 06/09/2021 07:48

I hate it. I hate he morning rush, I love the slower pace in the holidays yet oddly we still manage to be up and out at 9am. I'm gutted the holidays are over

CanofCant · 06/09/2021 07:48

@Glssr195726113493

Walking the dogs and the kids to the school gate and then ambling back home again is a bit different to getting everyone sorted and then doing multiple drop offs on your way to job you simply cannot be late for.
Yeah, precisely this. I feel like I have been to work before I even get there.
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