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AIBU?

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Original poster

DS starting school - am I heartless?

106 replies

Bellabelloo · 05/09/2021 21:48

My son is starting reception tomorrow. He's excited. I'm excited for him. But I see so many posts by people in floods of tears lamenting their child starting school. Am I heartless for not feeling that way?

I want him to be happy and confident and independent and see school as the start of this.

Maybe I'll break down at drop off tomorrow, but I doubt it.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 05/09/2021 21:51

Of course you're not.

HermioneGrunger · 05/09/2021 21:51

I never cried once when any of mine started school, I was seen running in the opposite direction.

Ionlydomassiveones · 05/09/2021 21:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

DramaAlpaca · 05/09/2021 21:52

I never felt that way either, and I was happy as a clam when my youngest left primary. No tears for me!

Sirzy · 05/09/2021 21:54

Of course your not being unreasonable.

I did cry when I got home from taking ds to his first day of high school last week but that was because due to his disabilities we never thought he would make mainstream secondary so it’s a massive thing.

NinaGonk · 05/09/2021 21:54

No, I dont think your feeling is unusual.

The people who get upset at this point (me!) are just more noticable.

kaleidoscopeheartless · 05/09/2021 21:54

I didn't cry either when any of my 3 started school.

WashableVelvet · 05/09/2021 21:55

Do the same people who are in floods of tears repost terrible DIY poems off parenting social media pages lamenting how their baby has grown so quickly? Grin

You’re fine. So are they. So are the kids!

Unanananana · 05/09/2021 21:55

God no! Not one tear here! I practically drop kicked my DD into school and legged it! DS was a bit harder as he would get upset but his teachers and TAs have been great at brisk but friendly. The crying stopped pretty quick.

The drama, lamenting the loss of their 'baby' etc is just for the sake of social media.

ohthatbloodycat · 05/09/2021 21:56

You're the one in the right OP 👍

megletthesecond · 05/09/2021 21:57

Yanbu.
I didn't get in a state when mine started school.

whatisheupto · 05/09/2021 21:58

No. God people are so over dramatic. It's not that big a deal.

PlanDeRaccordement · 05/09/2021 21:58

Meh. DH took them on their first day of school. I was at work. But they’d been in nursery since a few months old so it was simply a case of new building & new teacher & some of their friends from nursery. Nothing special.

olidora63 · 05/09/2021 21:59

I was so excited for my children..no tears shed ,just enjoyed the few hours of one less to think about!

Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 05/09/2021 22:03

One of my ds's was a hideous toddler!! Wow did I skip out of that yard that first day!
All the other dps were weeping and bloody wailing!!
Not me!

MsTSwift · 05/09/2021 22:03

Some things get you and some don’t. I am stony faced and not a dramatic emotional type generally but my eldest starting school floored me! Was of course cheery to her but as she went into the building realised I was properly losing it and raced home and just sobbed. Haven’t cried like that since (pfb is now 15). Fine when dd2 went! Just got me somehow! Thankfully no one else saw as was pretty embarrassing.

StepAwayFromGoogling · 05/09/2021 22:05

YANBU, OP, but neither are the Mums getting upset. You can't change how you feel.

621CustardCream438 · 05/09/2021 22:05

Nope, I handed them their stuff, gave them a hug and waved them through the gate with a smile. Said hi to a couple of people I knew in passing then went home and got on with my day. I was picking them up ninety minutes later (staggered start), they were hardly emigrating to Australia! I don’t see what there is to cry about that my healthy child is off to their free, enjoyable and local education - my baby not growing up would have been an awful lot worse. I get a little sad when they leave something (preschool, nursery) as that’s saying goodbye to often very loved people, but never at the start of something!

Comedycook · 05/09/2021 22:07

I don't find first days of anything sad! I find last days sad so last day of nursery and last day of primary. First day of school though...I practically skipped out of the playground at the thought they were someone else's problem for six hours

KimDeals · 05/09/2021 22:08

I dropped mine into Y1 and Y3 this week and suddenly it was like I’d been punched in the guts. There isn’t a right or wrong reaction!

HotPenguin · 05/09/2021 22:09

I would have been sad if it wasn't for covid, as it was, I was just so pleased he could go.

Gemini6 · 05/09/2021 22:23

Everyone feels differently, I wouldn't post it all over social media but I'm definitely going to be upset when my oldest starts reception next week, as well as excited for her. Its the end of an era and I've enjoyed her baby/toddler/preschool years and all the time we have had together so will feel some emotion that those days and that phase of my life is over- doesn't make me dramatic or a sap!
My youngest however is pretty feral so I may well be drop kicking him in and running off with glee when the time comes!

dottymac · 05/09/2021 22:30

I'll shed a few (hundred) tears when I drop my youngest off at first of primary school tomorrow. I'm not ashamed of it, I'm very emotional and can't seem to hold it in even if I tried! Feels like the end of an era and I will miss him massively as I've been a sahm for 8 years. No right or wrong way though, we are all different. 🤷

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 05/09/2021 22:37

Nope, i have 4 and never cried when they started school. I did cry when ds1 left home though! Will probably do the same when the others leave

Mammyloveswine · 05/09/2021 22:39

I'm not even dropping mine off as I'm a teacher myself... full time this year so won't be doing any pick ups either..

He'll be fine! I did of course post a pic on social media though of my children looking cute in their uniforms..I think it might be the law Grin