New Neighbours – AIBU?

[PurdeytheDog]

My mum lives on a rural no through road with just three houses on it with ½ a km between each house. Through IHT planning my mum, brother and I own the house. My brother lives with my mum.
My mum and brother are quite apathetic, and not proactive at all, whereas I will deal with things head on.
After 30 years the house next door got sold. Within a week a new sign appeared and got screwed to the tree at the end of our drive directing people to the house next door (a half a km along the lane). We have a stone house sign at the end of the drive for our house.
I removed the new neighbour's sign.
Within two hours the new neighbour drove up to my mum’s and asked my brother if he owned the (our) house, if he owned the drive and if he owned the field adjacent to it (effectively trying to determine if we owned the tree I guess). He then proceeded to correct my brother in the pronunciation of our family surname (they are South African and we have Dutch heritage) and insinuated that he privately educated his own children and that we had no money.
The new neighbour then went on to forcefully suggest that a dual house sign be put up at the bottom of our drive directing people to our house and respectively his. The issue is that the postcode lands on our house, but services the whole lane. The new neighbour only directs his friends to his ‘new’ house by giving them the postcode, so my mum, who’s in her mid seventies now, is regularly getting people coming up to the wrong address.
My brother politely pointed out to the new neighbour that my family had been there for the best part of 50 years and have never needed to have such a sign erected, and that the new neighbour should be more precise about directing people to his house.
I live with my husband and two children, but visit my mum most days. A new sign appeared two days ago (as a result of another incorrect visitor) with a printout slipped into a plastic wallet, which was then screwed into the tree four times. The wind had blown it about, and it had folded over and just looed like rubbish attached to the tree.
I told my mum and brother I would removed it. They said not to because it would cause another 'scene'.
My worry is that if the sign is not removed the new neighbour will take this as acceptance and it will become the status quo and the next thing will be a permanent sign. My feeling is that you wouldn’t put your own house sign in front of someone else’s property over half a kilometre way. I feel like putting up a sign outside his house and saying that ‘This is not xxx’.
Am I being unreasonable??
Should i ask him to refrain from putting up these signs?

Soto try to stop the wrong people knocking on your mums door and disturbing her, your new neighbour thought it would be a good idea to put a sign up saying this way to my house.

I really can’t see the problem to be honest and think it’s a good idea.

If you don’t like it, is there anywhere else he can put the sign that doesn’t cause you stress.

Oh god yabu. Why not just let is be? You say the house was sold after 30 years. So the reason your family haven't had people knocking before is because the previous neighbours friends and family probably knew the house already!
They are new to the area and the postcode takes them to your mum's house so to save people knocking, they've come up with a simple solution.
Yes it is also your house but honestly, you don't even live there and the people who do live there aren't bothered. Just leave it and maybe try to get along with the new neighbours and be welcoming rather than hostile!

Is the tree yours? Get a tree preservation order put on it if you can then send him a letter informing him that any more signs being screwed in will be considered willful damage and reported to the council. Who does he think he is randomly attaching things to other peoples property, there must be some grass verge at some point in the lane he can put a sign in?

In fairness to him it is a good thing to have a sign pointing to the house in case of emergencies, around out rural area there was a big push to get house signs and arrows in place for the fire service and ambulances to locate properties faster, free signes were given out etc. But his sign doesnt need to be attached to you property without permission

I can sort of see where you’re coming from, but surely the sign is in your mum’s interest? We have a situation where we get a lot of mail and deliveries for another house and it is frustrating. Unfortunately most people now use post codes for directions. I’m not sure you’re going to be able to change that, so maybe be gracious and appreciate it may help your family.

Surely the sign will stop people bothering your mum, I don’t see what the issue is really with the new neighbour putting it up, it seems pretty sensible.

Just work out a mutually agreeable solution? Maybe a sign for your house and one for his with an arrow to stop you getting all his deliveries.

Yeah, another one here who doesn’t see the problem unless you haven’t explained it properly.

Seriously op, a sign on the tree at the end of your drive isn't hardly the crime of the century!!

I have been in exactly the same situation op in terms of layout and a postcode which has three properties where it was mine that all deliveries came to. I agree your neighbour should not be putting up any sign on your property.
If it were me and to avoid your mum (and brother) being inconvenienced by visitors and deliveries I’d get a sign with eg
The willows 400 meters - and an arrow
The elms 700 metres - and an arrow.

Put it up under your house sign.
You can get personalised signs via Amazon - I got one for around £12 to deal with a wholly different parking situation. I seem to remember they do all sorts of colours so it needn’t look too naff and will be weatherproof.

Things may very well settle (after flurry of deliveries etc) and it’s good they are a distance away.

I can see why you are annoyed as it is the presumptions behaviour and not asking permission first. However in your mums case I think I would have been putting that sign up myself to stop people coming to my door. I do think you are overreacting as possibly annoyed by the presumptive behaviour.

It's a sign..... If this is all u have to worry about in life jeezzz 🙈

Sorry if I have misunderstood… is the tree yours and on your property? As if so then they’re massively cheeky

And I’m suggesting you spending a small amount rather than your brother dragging himself (or getting dragged) into another encounter. Job done and move on.

I actually can’t believe people would be ok with this. No way would I want a scruffy looking sign attached to a tree at the end of my drive!

Do the houses have names and if so, is your mum’s one visible? If it is then that should be enough to let people know they’re not at the correct address.

Well what’s your suggestion for your neighbour’s visitors to be able to find him? He’s new, his friends don’t know where he lives, unless it’s easily signposted they’ll keep going to the wrong house. You’re setting your mum up to be the neighbors from hell.

He was brash and presumptious.
You’re being reactive and pompous.
Your Mum will be the one who suffers.

Can't you put a sign at the end of the lane?

Considering it's helping to direct to the correct area, why op would you resist such measures that are designed to help ?

So they put up a sign to their house at the end of your mum and brother's drive so that visitors would easily be able to find them? Meh.. Was it a huge neon sign? I mean, I've seen a lot of those crappy 'nightmare neighbour' programs and I don't think that this would get the viewing figures! It's a sign on a tree. Genuinely, what possibly could be your problem with this? Yes, maybe you're annoyed they didn't ask and it's your property. But genuinely, what is the issue with the sign being there? How does it negitively impact your, your mother's or your brother's life?

So you decided to just take it down, and are now mad that people can't find the neighbour's house.

Can i just add, that he hasn't added a sign to the other neighbour's property.
Yes, I am probably over reacting. But he has also been quite aggressive to my mum on another occasion about something entirely different, whilst my brother was on holiday. He's also upset the other neighbour. I've never met him but he doesn't seem the sort to be wanting to be part of the 'community'. He has also snooped around the other neighbour's property and peered over the hedges, as my brother watched him do it.
Yes, its not the end of the World, and i have plenty to keep me occupied. As a few people have said, its just a bit presumptuous.
He could simply use the house name and postcode with directions to go all the way to the end of the lane, and not up the driveway to my mum's when directing his guests. Also What Three Words could be used. What normal people would do in short!
Appreciate the feedback x

It tends to be a problem with GPS...it goes by postcode and then house number so if there are no house numbers evident there will be confusion. Do you own the tree? personally i think the sign would be a good idea but a proper one....alternatively if its friends of your neighbour, (and yes this is quirky....) you might suggest whatthreewords to him. what3words.com/pretty.needed.chill
i say this as a long time householder who has had some pretty odd neighbours.....try not to start a neighbour war....there's no need to give way to CF's but stay polite and retain the moral high ground.....especially if you don't live there and someone else would get the flack.....oh and don't get mixed up between "dealing with things head on" and "being unnecessarily snarky"

So to stop your mum having visitors who aren’t meant for her, neighbours came up with a solution. They should have discussed it but why didn’t you go and speak to them rather than remove the sign at a house you don’t even live at? It doesn’t affect you in the slightest so maybe let you dm and db decide if they care enough to argue.

@PurdeytheDog sorry but YABU and you also sound as awkward as two left feet tbh! Isn't it glaringly obvious to you by now that the new neighbours are simply trying not to let their visitors pester your Mum on a regular basis by them turning up at the wrong house! That's what happens when you share a postcode... So they're trying to solve the problem in the easiest way possible... Do you have a history of falling out with people because I'd be very surprised if you don't with your attitude?

I'd not be happy about someone screwing things into my tree, but I think you have escalated the situation unnecessarily. Suggesting a more suitable / less intrusive place for a temporary sign would have probably gone down better.

Presumably when people incorrectly call at your house your mum tells them where he lives, so I think she should stop doing that and then he will need to give better directions.

It also sounds like the paper currently on the tree has blown over so isn’t directing anyone either so yes, I would remove it.