Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I in the wrong? Feel stupid now.

198 replies

MiaAnnabell3 · 04/09/2021 15:29

In town today, very busy shopping centre.

Whilst paying for parking a little boy came running past me - very distressed, you know that "blind panic" when they've lost their parents. Shouting mummy repeatedly.

As he was heading through the doors to the multi story car park I left my own kids with my husband and was thankfully able to get myself in front of him before he made it out - I never touched him, just blocked his way.

I asked him if he knew where to find mummy but he was so distressed it was hard to understand, was just shouting for his Mum.

A couple came through the doors and I said "Is this boy with you?"

To which two women appeared and said "No he's with us. We were watching him from over there. He was having a tantrum and you gave him the attention he wanted. You want to keep your nose out!" Then sort of snatched him up and walked off. One of them also shouted "Karen!" over her shoulder.

Feel really stupid now. Sad

OP posts:
Mumsgirls · 04/09/2021 18:24

Years ago I had similar, toddler distressed in a shopping centre, no adult in sight. I took the child by the hand and was taking him towards the security guard. Did not want thanks but harridan of a mother arrived and spoke to me as if I was the child catcher. Never forgot, but I was in the right and told her she should watch her child better. We were within twenty miles of Liverpool and a couple of years after the dreadful Bulger case. Maybe she felt guilty and lashed out at me . I know I did the right thing as you did, never be afraid to help a distressed child

tommyhoundmum · 04/09/2021 18:27

Mayorquimby2

Can you explain your comment to me, please?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/09/2021 18:29

@Hellocatshome

No not stupid, its is one thing ignoring a tantrum but not when it puts the child in danger such as running into the car park. You were right they were wrong.
This sums it up perfectly, @MiaAnnabell3 - @Hellocatshome’s words are very wise.
tommyhoundmum · 04/09/2021 18:29

Loose children are everyone's responsibility.

The women were rude and stupid if the best insult they could come up with was "karen".

godmum56 · 04/09/2021 18:37

@tommyhoundmum

Loose children are everyone's responsibility.

The women were rude and stupid if the best insult they could come up with was "karen".

this ^^

and this
@SquirryTheSquirrel
"I don't have children either. I don't know any children, I am no good with children ... but you can bet your life I would do something if I saw a child running into danger.

Original poster
MiaAnnabell3 · 04/09/2021 18:39

You've all made me feel so much better Flowers

Poor kid, I hope he's okay.

OP posts:
Becca19962014 · 04/09/2021 18:56

Nine months after what happened to April Jones (I'm in mid Wales) I found a young girl maybe three screaming on the pavement on a main road. I wouldn't leave such a child anyway but with what happened and no parents around I wasn't leaving her unless her parents showed up or, the police.

Her parents had five minutes, one car stopped to ask me if I needed any help, I said no were fine; I got my phone out and could see a man running down the road - it took him a time to get to me, she could easily have been taken. The abuse I got was horrendous. He stood there ranting at me for being so stupid, clearly no kids of my own cos "everyone" knows you just leave them, the kid was just having a tantrum and him and his wife were seconds away (across two main roads and she was a dot in the distance), when I mentioned my worries he laid into me saying that was totally different as they could see her - I still wonder about the people in the car with shudders. They could have wanted to help genuinely but if they'd wanted to they could have taken her.

After I was shaken and upset.
BUT I'd do it again in a heart beat.

I should also add someone did phone the police and they were spoken to - I live in a very small place and there's CCTV where the left her monitored by the police (which I didn't know about) and after he left with her, still screaming they turned up and had a word.

Becca19962014 · 04/09/2021 18:58

They wouldn't have known about the CCTV, it was a pilot they were trying for summer.

Imnothereforthedrama · 04/09/2021 19:27

Absolutely op don’t feel stupid like others say pair of twats don’t give it a second thought.

Ralph871 · 04/09/2021 21:31

Well done for being a decent human being and obviously a loving mother.

That pair need strung up for leaving a young child to have a tantrum alone in a car park. 100% you did the right thing.

621CustardCream438 · 04/09/2021 22:10

They’re vile. You don’t just watch your young child run off in a shopping centre towards a car park. Ever. It’s reckless and neglectful. Ignoring a tantrum while they’re safely at home/strapped in the car/right next to you is one thing, and I hate people who try to intervene just because my child is crying, but standing back and not doing anything as a toddler hurtles towards a car would be insane.

daytriptovulcan · 04/09/2021 22:30

They are complete ignorant idiots, let them own it.
You did nothing wrong, and indeed were watchful of a childs safety. You are commendable.

Imcatmum · 04/09/2021 23:43

YRBU for feeling stupid. They are the twats.

DifferentHair · 04/09/2021 23:48

Wow, what awful people! You did the right thing.

rainbowlou · 05/09/2021 00:05

They sound like absolute fuckwits, I hate the whole ‘Karen’ BS that’s being thrown about everywhere nowadays too.
I would have done exactly what you did, I bet if you’d ignored him and he ended up getting run over they’d have jumped
On you for being that close but doing nothing.
Try to put it out of your mind and remember they’re the dickheads not you x

Chakaparm · 05/09/2021 00:05

Pair of dickheads. You're the kind of person I'd want around if my daughter ever was in a similar position and thought she'd lost me whilst out shopping.. You did absolutely nothing wrong. Nothing.

Davygran · 05/09/2021 18:02

Ignorant, arrogant feckers. Not fit to look after a child, and they plainly weren’t looking after him!

cherish123 · 05/09/2021 18:09

From what you describe, I would have thought he was lost.

Porcupineintherough · 05/09/2021 18:10

Ah OP if he'd got passed you into the car park they'd have blamed you. Doubly so if he'd been hurt. Shit parents always need someone else to blame.

2ddandabump · 05/09/2021 18:10

You acted like I hope most caring normal people would react. Hopefully you embarrassed them and they might not try that pi** poor parenting again.

Iwtwab12bow · 05/09/2021 18:11

How rude ,you were only helping out. I do wish people weren't so suspicious. I would have done the same.

Burgess67A · 05/09/2021 18:13

You did the right thing. They sound horrible!

pollymere · 05/09/2021 18:16

Calling people Karen for actually doing the right thing seems to be popular right now. I suspect people just see it as insult. They should not have let that little boy get so upset...it's emotional abuse which they clearly don't understand. I'd probably have helped the boy find his Mum and given an earful if it was those two women! Or just handed the kids over to security/police as lost...

ILoveANameChange · 05/09/2021 18:16

You did nothing wrong. Some people are just not meant to be parents. Idiots.

dcthatsme · 05/09/2021 18:18

I am totally with you on this. How could you have known the boy was being watched? I would have done the same as you. That is very strange behaviour on the part of the carers. I am so out of touch I had to look up the 'Karen' insult! Grin

Swipe left for the next trending thread