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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To start a thread about lovely MIL's?

119 replies

MeredithGreyishblue · 04/09/2021 11:48

They get slammed continually on here.

I'm sure some aren't pleasant but mine is LOVELY!

She's just called me, seconds after a parcel arrived. "It's from me. I read it and thought you'd like it too!" And it looks like I will!

She never oversteps. She never judges. She is incredible with the children. She's stepped in to help out when we needed her. She is fun, kind, warm and clever.

Anyone else feel really lucky to have gained a fabulous woman in their life?

OP posts:
Wejustdontknow · 04/09/2021 15:25

It’s lovely to read such nice comments for a change 🙂 my in laws are amazing and we are all very close, we see them at least once a week, often holiday together and are very close. Same with sil and her partner and my side of the family. I feel very lucky to have such a great supportive family around me that is all so close as I know many don’t have the same and I find it invaluable, especially when raising a young family

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/09/2021 15:35

My MIL was amazing - kind, thoughtful, great with our dses, even-handed between Dh and me - if she thought he was in the wrong, she would back me up and tell him where he had gone wrong.

I used to look forward to her visits - we had a great time together - on family outings and when we went out just the two of us. She was such a generous and caring woman.

She died of cancer 5 years ago - we were all devastated, and still miss her.

My eldest ds is getting married next year, and I plan to be the sort of MIL my MIL was.

PartyPotato · 04/09/2021 18:59

My MIL is sweet as pie. She annoys the shit out of me sometimes but that’s my fault not hers 😂 she loves me as well so that helps!

Lunariagal · 04/09/2021 19:16

Mines wonderful. Dont know what I would do without her.

scrivette · 04/09/2021 19:21

Mine is lovely too, she buys lovely gifts, keeps my plied with wine when I go there and understands what her son can be like! I knew her before I married DH and I feel lucky to have her as a (slightly bonkers but wonderful) MIL.

saraclara · 04/09/2021 19:55

@C8H10N4O2 I see this thread as celebrating the women in our lives. Not everyone is lucky enough to have such amazing role models, but that's the case in any celebration of anything and anyone. It would be sad of people aren't allowed to celebrate because others aren't in a position to.

We each have different things to be grateful for, and different positive influences in our lives to celebrate. There are probably other OPs to be made on those subjects.

C8H10N4O2 · 04/09/2021 20:15

I see this thread as celebrating the women in our lives

From the very first response:

"Newsflash... if you have a son then you may be a MIL one day too! "

That isn't celebrating its a preemptive bash of DiLs.

I stand by my comments - what a good relationship with your DiLs, raise your sons to be partners, not passengers.

Merryoldgoat · 04/09/2021 21:01

@JustLyra

Flowers
CourgetteSeason · 04/09/2021 21:09

Yea mine is pretty lovely. The other day she referred to me as the daughter they never had (they have 2 boys)....I'm not crying (much).

Bluenotgreenmilk · 04/09/2021 21:25

I adore my mil
(We lost fil in March)
She’s the granny I want to be-she never oversteps,takes sides or is nasty
She’s gentle,kind,non judgemental and has such a kind aura about her
She’s just an amazing woman and all adore her-let’s face it she puts up with a lot having me in her life but she never shows it
We don’t have kids together but she took mine in and treats them like her own-she’s the person I wish had been at my side when I’d had my babies and when they where little
I wish she was my mum-shes an amazing lady

FrauleinSchweiger · 04/09/2021 21:31

I'd like to add to the MIL love here too. Lost my DMIL 5 years ago and miss her tremendously.

She was a fantastic listener, kind and so full of wisdom with a wicked sense of humour. She was really interested in my DC, and I mean properly interested. She loved spending time with them and really getting to know them and what made them tick. She lived 5 hours away so we didn't see her as much as we would have liked but when we did we always had fun and felt loved.

I really miss the long chats we used to have, just the two of us, putting the world to rights and sharing our experiences. She is dearly missed by us all and I so wish that my DC could have had her in their lives for longer.

I realise that I was extremely lucky to have her and I often think "what would she do", if I'm pondering how to deal with something. Plus, she raised a wonderful son in DH Smile.

mrsdaltongrant · 04/09/2021 21:32

Aww this is nice! My MIL is a very very kind person. But sadly she didn't like me initially because I am brown. Is quite judgemental and frequently oversteps the children love her and she is very generous and really that's all that matters but I do wish we have a close enough relationship but we will never be "friends". I wish it was different but its not.

Holly60 · 04/09/2021 21:36

@C8H10N4O2

You’re lucky. It’s not a virtue to have a decent MIL, it’s luck. And these threads crop up about once a month. People seeking help because they’re not as fortunate aren’t to blame

Agree, starting a thread with posts bashing DiLs isn't going to fix anything.

Rather I'd say what is it about our society that engenders strained relationships at times between DiL/MiLs? Oh yes its the fact that women are held responsible for pretty much every aspect of family life. Perhaps the energy is better focused on raising boys to take responsibility for family life just as much as women have to.

This is a thread about wonderful women and a particular type of relationship between two women. Rather than coming on to criticise women (again) for not ‘raising their boys’ we’ll enough (because of course a poorly behaved man has to be the fault of a woman somewhere) let’s just celebrate the relationship between women of different generations who so often come together because of love and forge wonderful relationships.

Here here to wonderful mothers and daughters in law

Holly60 · 04/09/2021 21:39

@C8H10N4O2

I see this thread as celebrating the women in our lives

From the very first response:

"Newsflash... if you have a son then you may be a MIL one day too! "

That isn't celebrating its a preemptive bash of DiLs.

I stand by my comments - what a good relationship with your DiLs, raise your sons to be partners, not passengers.

It’s really not. Read the posts and you will just see women celebrating other women. It’s so wonderful to read a post of positivity from women about women! Yesssssss
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 04/09/2021 21:40

My mil is nice. Shes very very different to me, but we respect each other's qualities. She's very loyal to family and adores the kids but always says kind stuff about my parenting, which I appreciate. Definitely could do far worse.

89redballoons · 04/09/2021 22:05

I really admire my MIL and I really like her too. She did a brilliant job bringing up my husband and his brother in really tough circumstances.

She is really hardworking, keeps a lovely home and always puts her family first. Alongside that she is brilliant fun, loves a party and goes on adventurous holidays and proper nights out. She's always learning or trying out something new. She could be mistaken for 20 years younger.

She has my DS two days a week and seems to genuinely enjoy it. She has a whole load of toys and activities for him at her house and he loves going there, and I trust her completely to look after him (and spoil him a bit if she likes!). DS is one and 3/4 and has recently started announcing that Nana is Cool Grin I fully agree.

Poppyloppyloo · 04/09/2021 22:53

I am also really lucky to have a wonderful mother in law. She loves my children, has boundless energy to play with them and respects our parenting choices. She’s a great source of support and im very grateful to have her in mine and my kids lives.

Saoirse82 · 04/09/2021 22:56

I love my MIL too!

MaverickDanger · 04/09/2021 23:01

I have the most amazing in laws.

FIL is so kind and gentle, I’m very lucky that DH is practically his clone.

MIL is just brilliant. She loves to laugh and has a wicked sense of humour, she’s considerate but also is ok with being told when something isn’t ok. Her and DH are very different and can rub each other up the wrong way, so I’m often a bit of a buffer.

I adore my SILs and my BILs too as well as the extended aunts uncles and grandparent that I gained!

Sadly they live overseas and haven’t met DS yet. It’s been 20 months since we saw them last and 8 since he was born. It breaks my heart that they are highly unlikely to meet him until he’s 18 months. I’m praying every day that it will be earlier, they will just adore each other.

Downsize2021 · 04/09/2021 23:06

My dh comes from the arse end of nowhere. It's freezing when the rest of britain has a heatwave and I've been bitten by clegs and have had four ticks. I say im never ever living there but every single time we stay with his mum and dad (and see the rest of his lovely family ) i think, I could live here. I lost my mum in my mid 20s and she knows this and since the first time we met She's been nothing but loving, kind and simply wonderful.

Wickedwaterwitch · 04/09/2021 23:13

My beloved MIL is dead (Covid) and was one of the nicest people I’ve ever known. She was kind, non judgmental, funny, warm, loving and we miss her enormously.

loafcake · 04/09/2021 23:22

I wish I had a nice one! My MIL is a piece of work, but it's lovely reading through about all of yours!

NauseousNancy · 04/09/2021 23:27

Mine is constant, reliable, warm & loving. She loves us and we love her. She would be my number 1 call in an emergency, so calm and measured.

She would do anything for us. What more would we need?

akissbeforebed · 04/09/2021 23:36

Mine is batty as a box of frogs, frustrating, annoying, doesn't listen/can't hear, starts conversations half way through, expects you to know everyone and their second cousins twice removed, can't understand when you don't share her interests, etc.

I love her and wouldn't change her for the world.

OhGiveUp · 04/09/2021 23:36

I loved my late M.I.L. She was intelligent, generous and had a heart full of love for everyone.
Amazing woman, I was devastated when she died.