To start a thread about lovely MIL's?

[MeredithGreyishblue]

They get slammed continually on here.

I'm sure some aren't pleasant but mine is LOVELY!

She's just called me, seconds after a parcel arrived. "It's from me. I read it and thought you'd like it too!" And it looks like I will!

She never oversteps. She never judges. She is incredible with the children. She's stepped in to help out when we needed her. She is fun, kind, warm and clever.

Anyone else feel really lucky to have gained a fabulous woman in their life?

My mil is lovely. She always DH’s back and while I know she doesn’t always like me she’s never openly rude or disrespectable. She also thinks about me in little things which even my mum doesn’t do.

My MIL was lovely. Coming up to 2 years since we lost her. I wish we’d had more time.

Mine is fantastic too. She's always been nothing but warm, respectful, and supportive to me. She raised a wonderful son and has been very generous in helping out with uni costs for our two children. We're in the US, so the uni fees are astronomical here and we really appreciate it.

The kids are off to uni now and we're going over to her town and taking her out to dinner tonight. We also do a family Zoom call every Sunday.

I fell pregnant really early into my relationship and it really could of gone to shit, my MIL made such an effort with me to make a friendship and get to know me. She would always send a magazine a week or a candle or something that I liked she did it every week of my pregnancy. Whilst being the biggest support,I have always had a strained relationship with my own mum and had to go NC when my baby was tiny I was 21 and had no idea what I was doing really, the first night I came home with the baby we went to her house and she kept her distance but I could tell she was dying to cuddle that little girl but she never ever over stepped. I honestly adore her like a mum and 5 years on I’d still do anything for her and she helps us in every way possible without judgement. Now I have children I understand how scary it must of been for her with me being so young and me and her son in a new relationship but she never judged she always helped and I just love her. (I’m now married to her son and we have two kids) I LOVE her and she’s the perfect example of how I want to be as a MIL

Absolutely love my mil.

She's a fantastic nan to our dc and is dotty as hell but so funny.

She's getting forgetful and doddery now but she still has a brilliant sense of humour and I love her so much

Fil however is a different story.

Never treated mil well and still doesn't so we make sure we treat her as much as we can and help her as much with anything we can.

She recently spent hours adjusting an elaborate outfit for one of our dc and she did an amazingly perfect job so we treated her to flowers chocs and a lunch out and she was so grateful even though she deserved it.

YANBU

Mine is great too. Just a nice person. My mother is rude and difficult.

My MIL is lovely too. She is very supportive but doesn’t overstep. We are lucky to have her.

Love my MIL
She throws me birthday parties
Drives DC to school when I work then looks after them until I have finished

YANBU - but as I have one of the toxic ones I am quite jealous!
(She's a horrible person it's not just in relation to her MIL role so not even MIL bashing!)

Absolutely adored my mother in law.

My late MIL was great. She was plain speaking, and I didn't always agree with her opinion, but she really was a lovely woman until alzheimers changed her completely.

She used to tell me that she told all her friends how well she got on with me, which I thought was a lovely thing to do. DD also loved her granny, and was very upset when MIL's alzheimers turned her into an disagreeable and very aggressive person.

I know from reading the many MIL threads on here that there really are some awful MILs, but I also think there are a lot of difficult DILs.

IMO, in order to have a good MIL/DIL relationship both parties have to try to get on with each other, and I often think that a lot of MIL/DIL relationships don't start with each party making any kind of effort at all.

Sadly, my SIL takes the view that no-one is good enough for her DC, so she doesn't have the best relationship with her DC's partners. They do get on because her SIL and DIL are decent people and try to make the best of it, but they don't have the easy relationship that I had with my MIL.

My MIL is amazing. She’s the closest to a mother I’ve really had (I was brought up by my Grandparents).

She is kind and wise. She also seems to instinctively know when to give advice and when to stay quiet. She’s also brilliant at not saying “I told you so” if you don’t take her advice and it goes tits up - she just helps you with whatever you need. She loves my girls as much as she does her biological grandchildren and the way she makes time for each child and properly knows them is amazing.

I’m also incredibly luckily because I have a wonderful woman in my life who is my Other-MIL. OMIL was the DM of my DH’s late first wife. Despite the fact it must have been horrifically hard to see DH and I get together after the criminally-young loss of her daughter she’s been utterly wonderful to me.

In fact, as I’ve said on here before, when DS1 said he wanted to call me Mum and I was very unsure as I have quite strong views about step-parents being called Mum/Dad she took me out for a coffee and said “My DD loved being DS’s Mummy. One of her biggest fears when she was ill was leaving him behind. I believe she’d be very happy that he has Mum who loves him and cares for him like she did.”

If I can have half of OMIL’s strength and half of their skill and kindness I’ll be a very lucky woman!

...when DS1 said he wanted to call me Mum and I was very unsure as I have quite strong views about step-parents being called Mum/Dad she took me out for a coffee and said “My DD loved being DS’s Mummy. One of her biggest fears when she was ill was leaving him behind. I believe she’d be very happy that he has Mum who loves him and cares for him like she did.”

I rarely if ever tear up at things I read on a screen. But that did for me.
What an amazing woman.

My MIL is from a small town in rural Spain. She left school when her mother died to bring up her 3 siblings. She put herself through night classes to learn to read and write, working informally as a seamstress. She later brought up 3 fabulous children. Her husband left her, and left her with nothing but a tiny pension as she had been s SAHM. She could have been overwhelmed coming to the UK for our wedding and meeting my huge family, all university-educated, but no, she learned a few words of English to be polite and showed them who was boss on the dancefloor. I was so proud to introduce her to people. She's 70+ and goes boogying every Saturday night. She's never been anything but welcoming to her weird English daughter-in-law, and she's 100% respectful of how we're bringing up her granddaughter. We're very different, but I love her.

Oh, and she's an amazing cook!

My MIL is amazing. She loves her grandchildren so much. She doesn’t judge me negatively like most people do.

What an amazing woman.

She is wonderful.

She’s out today with two of DH and I’s younger children. They call her Granny-Annie and she’s a huge part of our family.

(Obviously she’s not called Annie, but you get what I mean!)

@JustLyra

My MIL is amazing. She’s the closest to a mother I’ve really had (I was brought up by my Grandparents).

She is kind and wise. She also seems to instinctively know when to give advice and when to stay quiet. She’s also brilliant at not saying “I told you so” if you don’t take her advice and it goes tits up - she just helps you with whatever you need. She loves my girls as much as she does her biological grandchildren and the way she makes time for each child and properly knows them is amazing.

I’m also incredibly luckily because I have a wonderful woman in my life who is my Other-MIL. OMIL was the DM of my DH’s late first wife. Despite the fact it must have been horrifically hard to see DH and I get together after the criminally-young loss of her daughter she’s been utterly wonderful to me.

In fact, as I’ve said on here before, when DS1 said he wanted to call me Mum and I was very unsure as I have quite strong views about step-parents being called Mum/Dad she took me out for a coffee and said “My DD loved being DS’s Mummy. One of her biggest fears when she was ill was leaving him behind. I believe she’d be very happy that he has Mum who loves him and cares for him like she did.”

If I can have half of OMIL’s strength and half of their skill and kindness I’ll be a very lucky woman!

Oh, I'm welling up! How touching. Lovely

We have some wonderful women in our lives.

You’re lucky. It’s not a virtue to have a decent MIL, it’s luck. And these threads crop up about once a month. People seeking help because they’re not as fortunate aren’t to blame.

Interesting that when anyone tries to start a thread about how amazing their husband is they’re usually told to pipe down because it’s insensitive to those not as lucky, and smug.

Mine is wonderful. She treats me with so much love, despite us not speaking the same language and coming from completely different cultures. And she always tells my husband to treat me well and look after me 😊 amazing woman.

My (ex) MIL is lovely. I'm 44 now and have known her since I was 19. She's a very caring and supportive person and she loves me and my daughter. She's never over stepped, or been judgy. I split from her son in 2016 and am very lucky that she and my FIL continue to be a part of my life.

I've been with my current partner for nearly 5 years. His mum is fab and we're very close friends. She contacts me rather than him We often get together for walks or catch up over a cuppa.

I do recognise how lucky I have hit the jackpot twice!!

You’re lucky. It’s not a virtue to have a decent MIL, it’s luck. And these threads crop up about once a month. People seeking help because they’re not as fortunate aren’t to blame

Agree, starting a thread with posts bashing DiLs isn't going to fix anything.

Rather I'd say what is it about our society that engenders strained relationships at times between DiL/MiLs? Oh yes its the fact that women are held responsible for pretty much every aspect of family life. Perhaps the energy is better focused on raising boys to take responsibility for family life just as much as women have to.

My MIL was wonderful, and we were very good friends. And she raised DH to be a thoughtful and very kind person. Sadly, she died a few years ago, but I honor her in trying to emulate her now that I am a MIL.

The OMIL story is just beautiful.

What a fantastic woman.

My MIL is amazing. Has been so supportive of me as DHs second wife, incredibly generous with her time and love, so gentle and kind when my own mum died. Has opened her heart and home to me and I love her so.