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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Positive covid and dinner booked?!

118 replies

Windingroad21 · 04/09/2021 11:21

AIBU? Parents a nightmare, but that’s another thread.

‘D’ M and Dbro (same household) all tested positive on Sunday, attributable to Bbro going clubbing. ‘D’F negative.

DF birthday next week and he’s texted myself and DP inviting us to dinner out! Wtf? I said straight out no way as they’re a nightmare, and covid.

They’re adamant they’re going as DM/Dbro will have had ‘10 days’ by then since testing positive.. can this be right? How? Surely you must be sure you’re completely well and take a further PCR to confirm to be safe, and ensure safety of others.

AIBU to be horrified or am I misinformed on what the rules are here?

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 11:49

The guidance says 10 days.

I pretty much try and avoid news stories etc re covid as they are always sensationalist but I'm surprised anyone could not know this.

You also do not do a PCR for 90 days after a positive because you can still be shedding dead virus.

If it's 10 days after then go if you want. But you don't sound much like you really want to?

FfrothiCoffi · 04/09/2021 11:50

So you think your dad will go for dinner if he has Covid?

Original poster
Windingroad21 · 04/09/2021 11:50

Thank you to all for helping me understand the facts. I’m clear on where things are now.

OP posts:
MissyMooKins · 04/09/2021 11:50

They would have to use the communal hallway anyway to take their rubbish out.

Original poster
Windingroad21 · 04/09/2021 11:51

@FfrothiCoffi yes, I do. Based on the fact it’s HIS birthday. I don’t believe he will take any further tests between now and then and will use his negative test from the 10 days before as his justification- regardless of whether he is positive or not.

OP posts:
Original poster
Windingroad21 · 04/09/2021 11:52

@MissyMooKins yes, but DF could be doing that as negative/ double jabbed, surely.

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 04/09/2021 11:52

@Windingroad21

But they’re not isolating properly if they’re entering communal areas which are high traffic and used by others whilst within the 10 days, are they?
Actually a communal area counts as a household. You can go into the garden and we have a shared garden for my flat (just 8 flats and it's huge!).

So for people who need to take pets into a garden or put the rubbish out they need to walk through communal areas.

When I was isolating I use to do it when no one else was around and wipe all door handles with anti viral wipes afterwards.

OhRene · 04/09/2021 11:54

I'm a stickler for the rules, avoid all unnecessary socialising, only order my shopping and haven't been back to a supermarket in forever but they're right and you're wrong I'm afraid. It's 10 days isolation after a positive test or from the day your symptoms started. You cannot test at the end of those required 10 days as it will likely show up as positive no matter if you're no longer contagious.

TheRabbitStoleMyHat · 04/09/2021 11:56

Where have you got these ‘rules’ from?

No they shouldn’t be walking the dog etc within the 10 days but after that they’re free to go out. You can have a positive pcr for up to 90 days after. It sounds like you just don’t want to go, so don’t go. Being horrified is dramatic.

OhRene · 04/09/2021 11:56

And unless you have other options you have to be able to take your pet out to toilet. You can't just make dog shit and piss in a house. And you still need to take your rubbish out.

Crowtooyo · 04/09/2021 11:57

What's wrong with going clubbing? I do worry about people and how long they are willing to live their lives stuck inside after being double jabbed etc...! I've followed the rules pretty well throughout and suffered massively with my mental health, there has to be a point where normality resumes.

As for the 10 day thing, it's been that for well over a year.

LadyDanburysCane · 04/09/2021 12:03

[quote Windingroad21]@FfrothiCoffi yes, I do. Based on the fact it’s HIS birthday. I don’t believe he will take any further tests between now and then and will use his negative test from the 10 days before as his justification- regardless of whether he is positive or not.[/quote]
He doesn’t need to take any further tests unless he develops symptoms.

He could take lateral flow tests twice a week but only IF he wants to.

liveforsummer · 04/09/2021 12:06

I'm not sure why your surprised. This isn't something that keeps changing. You haven't needed a negative test to get out of isolation at all, ever! Once it's up, it's up unless you still have a fever. Who informed you otherwise?
She shouldn't be walking the dog in public, although that's a separate issue, but there will be times it's necessary for positive people to enter communal areas of their home.
You clearly don't want to go to the meal. So don't but it's worth getting your info from reliable sources. Takes seconds to google.

CheltenhamLady · 04/09/2021 12:06

Op, you really can't use the situation to justify not going to your Father's birthday dinner.

They are following the rules. Either go or don't go based on what you actually want to do, not from a false sense of them being a Covid risk to you.

I agree with others, we need to at least try to get normality back and overreacting and criticising others is really not the way forward.

MyDcAreMarvel · 04/09/2021 12:06

There is another option @OhRene the negative DF.

Imnothereforthedrama · 04/09/2021 12:10

Op why don’t you check the government website instead of assuming they are breaking the rules and asking on here . What do you expect them to never go out again once the 10 days are up ? Like others have said it’s 10 days isolation as that’s when your infectious . They are assuming that they will be fine but your assuming they are in the wrong so lots of assumptions here .
Check out your facts on gov website

Sweettruelies · 04/09/2021 12:21

Are you double jabbed? Vulnerable in some way? I don’t understand your panic really

SixthformSuzie · 04/09/2021 12:21

I was surprised when my child had their tooth extracted on their freedom day after self isolation after pre-warning the dentist, and also a doctors appointment 8n person over another matter, but that's how it works!

In those days we were all stuck in for 10 days too while she had Covid.

These days, as a double jabber, I'd be able to go to work, and indeed to a full capacity Royal Albert Hall for a proms concert, which I am doing next week!

It is astonishing isn't it but there you go - it's living with Covid.

If you had had a stinking cold or had had norovirus recently you'd only not go out to dinner if you felt unwell. That's Covid now in the same category, with that caveat of the 10 days isolation. There was talk of moving it to 5 but I haven't heard anything about that lately.

That's Covid for you though - you feel fine when you are having your most infectious days, mostly. Hence why it's such a pain to control. Even flu is easier, in that it tends to floor you pretty quickly. I had swine flu when it was a thing and I went from feeling great and normal to not being able to sit up within about 4 hours.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 04/09/2021 12:22

Why would your DF take a test? He only needs to take a test if he has symptoms.

Bellyrumble · 04/09/2021 12:25

It is just the 10 days but don’t let some of the rude people on here make you feel bad OP. You asked the question and have the answer

The thing is if your DF tests positive now then his isolation period would need to start all over again…. I wouldn’t be making dinner reservations for so close to the end of the 10 days (especially if a deposit payable, not sure if there is?) just incase he develops symptoms or tests positive near the end. I’d be tempted to ask them to push back a week to avoid having to cancel at short notice if your DF tests positive.

Or ask your DF to take a lateral flow the day before. They aren’t super accurate but may put your mind at ease. (No point in the others re testing as they can show positive even if not infectious for a while after having it).

Bellyrumble · 04/09/2021 12:27

He can’t ask for a PCR unless he is symptomatic but I know in your situation I’d feel better about it all if he was happy to do a lateral flow before meeting up. As he could be a asymptomatic especially if double jabbbed

Not completely fool proof but lessens any risk and may put your mind at ease. The rest of the family are non infectious after 10 days

saraclara · 04/09/2021 12:29

I totally get avoiding the news. But people being ill informed is what is making this damn virus stick around.

It's so simple to just find the information you need on the govt site. If you can post on mumsnet, you can Google the rules and guidance.

saoirse31 · 04/09/2021 12:30

I think he's right re England's regulations, I also think you're perfectly right to not go if you're worried

PluggingAway · 04/09/2021 12:32

Tell them you can't go for dinner. You clearly don't want to and this is a good excuse.

Frazzled2207 · 04/09/2021 12:32

Well surely just don’t go is the obvious thing to do

They are correct and even if they still display symptoms should be fine to go as they will no longer be infectious

However I think when counting the 10 days the first day of test or symptoms is day 0 not day 1. And you’re allowed out on day 11 which is therefore 12 days since you first tested or had symptoms.
Happy to be corrected if that has changed