Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think 26 is that old to live at home

86 replies

Hiyanice · 03/09/2021 17:44

Sister just started dating W guy and she’s not sure whether to carry on due to the fact he’s still at home

OP posts:
Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 03/09/2021 17:47

Does he have a clear plan? Is he saving up to buy and is close to his target? Does he contribute to the family home, pulling his weight in terms of chores etc.

Foxmylife · 03/09/2021 17:48

Deprnds wether hes a manchild or mummy’s boy?

LargeBouquet · 03/09/2021 17:49

It's up to her, surely? I wouldn't have contemplated it when I was in my 20s, but there seems to be a widespread view now that 'saving for a deposit'is a catch-all and completely legitimate reason to stay at home long into adulthood.

JustStartingOut1 · 03/09/2021 17:51

My partner and I moved out of our respectives parents homes earlier this year - me 26, him 27 (by about 4 weeks when the sale went through).

We used the time to save up for a house and probably would have been a year earlier if not for Covid.

Think it's fine as long as you are paying your way and help around the house where you can. Houses are so expensive nowadays compared to wages/salaries!

HungryHippo11 · 03/09/2021 17:51

These days it is quite common. What would make the difference for me is whether he is working full time to save up to move out, or is happy just sponging off him mum indefinitely

Tinkerbellfluffyboots79 · 03/09/2021 17:51

I met someone living at home at 33. Should’ve known he was a mummy’s boy. She still panders to him at 47!!
Wasn’t terrible though just wouldn’t do it again. I was 26 in my own house with 2 kids so bit different. I don’t think it’s old or young I think it depends on the person and the parents tbh.

Fairunibutterfly · 03/09/2021 17:51

In my culture it’s quite normal for adult children to stay in the family home until married. Some people do move out before this but it’s not unusual to stay. Generally if he’s contributing to the household, responsible for chores then I wouldn’t see an issue but then it is normal for me like I said.

HungryHippo11 · 03/09/2021 17:52

@LargeBouquet

It's up to her, surely? I wouldn't have contemplated it when I was in my 20s, but there seems to be a widespread view now that 'saving for a deposit'is a catch-all and completely legitimate reason to stay at home long into adulthood.
What's the alternative? Previous generations could get a 100% mortgage, now you need 20% deposit. Not easy to save for when you're paying out thousands for rent.
Lockheart · 03/09/2021 17:53

It's pretty common nowadays, housing is increasingly unaffordable.

Addicted2LuvIsland · 03/09/2021 17:54

Depends. Lots of cultures live at home at all different ages. Some people live with one parent because of a death. For example, my mother will be moving in with me as we lost my father last year. Each circumstance is different

Kanaloa · 03/09/2021 17:54

It depends on the person. If he seemed a nice, responsible and kind guy then it wouldn’t put me off, although I moved out of home really young lots of people stay at home now until their twenties.

LimeRedBanana · 03/09/2021 17:55

I would not have been keen - don’t blame her.

Suggests a level of helplessness and dependency on others that is distinctly unappealing.

I bet he doesn’t do his own laundry, housework or sort his own food. Let alone all the other things that come with running and maintaining one’s own home (whether owning or renting).

I always said - I would never date a man who went straight from his Mum’s house to mine. It has stood me in good stead.

Akire · 03/09/2021 17:55

Common enough once you leave home and start working and paying rent at say 21 you are forever stuck in the can’t save for deposit because it’s all going on rent. Makes sense to wait until you least have partner and can afford share a 1 bed flat and pay half the rent. Or better save up deposit and get on the ladder pre 30

Kanaloa · 03/09/2021 17:55

But if he seemed ‘coddled’ or the mummy does all my washing type then that would put me off. Not because he was living at home but because I don’t like helpless adults who can’t do anything for themselves.

Sprogonthetyne · 03/09/2021 17:58

It seems quite old to me, but almost everyone in my circle left home at 18. I think I'd have doubts if I were your sister. It's not wrong for an adult to live at home, but their life experience would be very different. If they did end up living together I can see your DSis would end up sorting all the house stuff because she knows what she's doing, then it just becomes the default that she carry the mental load.

ISpyCobraKai · 03/09/2021 18:01

It seems old to me as I moved out well before that, as did Dd, but after reading a thread on here recently it seems lots of people stay at home saving a deposit to buy.
Renting apparently isn't the done thing.

namechange7865 · 03/09/2021 18:05

I think it's quite old to still be dependent on parents like that tbh, I certainly hope my kids have flown the nest by then! A temporary plan sure, but if he's been there consistently until now....nope...

Dreamingofbeergardens · 03/09/2021 18:07

@JustStartingOut1 I imagine covid meant a lot more people stayed with their parents for longer than they would have done. Enjoy your new home together Flowers
26 is okay IMO but it does depend on whether they help out at home and contribute.

TillyTopper · 03/09/2021 18:09

I think it depends what his relationship is like with his parents. If they still do everything for him, he doesn't contribute, never does anything like housework, laundry, gardening etc. there is an issue.

But if he contributes and he's there because he gets on with them and maybe is choosing to save money then no issue.

BlossomOnTrees · 03/09/2021 18:11

Hmm These threads come up constantly.
If you judge someone for living at home at 26 then it says more about you than them. In this day and age, it's next to impossible in some areas to buy or even rent alone.

Jigsawtrain · 03/09/2021 18:12

It depends if he works, helps out around the house and pulls his weight and if he’s generally independent. Also if he’s living at home to save up for a house or because it’s easier. If not the former then I wouldn’t waste my time.

Fatya · 03/09/2021 18:14

Very normal now. The average age children leave the family home is 25 in the UK.

Zealois · 03/09/2021 18:14

When I was dating at that age I stopped dating guys who lived at home. I really hated that we always had to go back to my place (in a houseshare), it was exhausting always being the host. And despite the fact that they all claimed to be saving for deposits, none of them seemed to save any of their money.

It was so nice when I met my now DP who was renting too and we could go between both places, and we've both saved while renting. Everyone had their own limits when dating and that's okay...

seaandsandcastles · 03/09/2021 18:16

I would think he wasn’t standing on his own two feet and wouldn’t have the ability to look after me so it would be an instant dealbreaker for me.

DogsandCatsB4u · 03/09/2021 18:23

My ex was 31 living at home and a man child
Never again I agree with your friend

Swipe left for the next trending thread