Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

[PoppyWoods]

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

It may well be a freely available public database, but that’s not all that’s relevant here. If the OP was discovered to have used her work time and work computer to search for someone’s personal information irrelevant to her work, she could possibly get in real trouble. I have worked in a local authority before and it was part of our contract of employment that we were strictly forbidden from doing any such searches. We were told that if we were to have looked up, say the council tax band of a property we had no business reason to be looking up (including anything to do with ourselves/ own homes etc) it would lead to disciplinary action. If the OP did all this in her own time fair enough (still very nosy though), but she gives the strong impression she did it whilst working.

Yes, I would mention it to my brother first to check that he'd told his partner and to offer support if the relationship is good

No idea why you're getting a hard time about publicly available information

Bit of a drip feed on the previous gambling debts, but given that and that they jointly own the house, I think you will have to find out if she knows and fess up to your snooping.

Far better she knows and can make whatever arrangements possible than suddenly have the rug pulled from under her home life.

OP, I think you’ve got a hell of a cheek saying “oh the hysteria”. It’s NONE of your business. If you worked in a hospital or healthcare setting, would you look up family and friends there too?

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything.

If you didn't expect to find anything, why did you bother looking? Or were you hoping to find something juicy?

@PoppyWoods

But what if she doesn't know?

Is it even possible to become bankrupt without your spouse knowing?

It is none of your business. You didn’t find out by accident because of your job, you searched for people you knew and found the information! Yes it’s there for anyone to access if they want to, but why would you? You’re just being nosey!

It may be a publicly accessible register but morally you are bang out of order.

Don't tell.

You might ask " Are things all right with you, Sue? You've seemed a bit down lately"

If she knows and wants to talk, there's her opening. But if she doesn't bite then leave it well alone.

You could get into a lot of trouble with your employer for abusing your position of trust in their time.
You definitely shouldn't be snooping on people you know. I think youwant to tell your sister because you are just bursting to spread the gossip.
What a vile person you are.

Regardless of whether the information is freely available I am certain your employers don't ask you to snoop on people you know.

@LaurieFairyCake

Yes, I would mention it to my brother first to check that he'd told his partner and to offer support if the relationship is good

No idea why you're getting a hard time about publicly available information

It's not her brother. It's her BIL, and her SIL.

It's OP's BIL and SIL. Not her sibling and their spouse.

If they jointly own their home, she will know. His trustee in bankruptcy will have contacted her because the trustee has a claim to BIL’s half share in the house. Letting her know that you know will not achieve anything positive and will just embarrass her.

As for the poster who said they could transfer the house to SIL’s name this is incorrect and could lead to serious, serious trouble. I would assume it will already be too late because the trustee will have protected the title but attempting this even before bankruptcy is against the law as a fraud on creditors. Don’t try it, it won’t end well.

It’s your husbands brother? I’d get him to speak to him.

I'm intrigued what your plan is if she does know..

"I have something to tell you. Whilst checking the register I discovered that BIL is bankrupt..."
"Yeah...I know that."

Surely that's just making things extremely awkward? How do you even continue that conversation?

Also not sure why it''s any of your business whats going on with other peoples finances?

@FizzyLizzie

OP, I think you’ve got a hell of a cheek saying “oh the hysteria”. It’s NONE of your business. If you worked in a hospital or healthcare setting, would you look up family and friends there too?

There is a tiny little difference, but if you haven't noticed then it's probably not worth explaining and spoiling your righteous outrage

I wonder how many posters on this thread are now checking the insolvency register for people they know while typing prim little faux-horrified messages to the OP ? Quite a lot I reckon.

Op, is it your DH's sister ? I'd see what he thinks before blowing things up. Or at least that's what I'd do.

I can't believe that you would stoop to snoop. Not your business. Keep out of it.

I think it will be a lovely conversation to have over Christmas lunch (assuming we can all get together).

"By the way, I looked you all up on the insolvency register. Fun times!"

You actually love knowing that don't you?

You absolutely need to stay out of this. What good can come from you 'revealing' their own finances to them?

Did you snoop accidentally look up family members at work, in work time or on work equipment? If that were the case surely there is a checkable trail. Should you be found accessing random stuff in their name as it were surely your work would have a problem with this??

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/debt-and-money/debt-solutions/bankruptcy-2/partners-and-bankruptcy/joint-debts-and-belongings-if-your-partner-is-bankrupt/

And a bit of Googling establishes that yes, it's perfectly possible to declare bankruptcy without your spouse's knowledge. I think this is a right can of worms and if she doesn't know she needs to.

She may not know 😔 I didn’t.

I was blissfully unaware and 9mths pregnant before everything was ripped away including my home.

Speak to him, explain it’s your job and ask him if she knows and if there’s anything you can do to help. At least if she doesn’t know it may push him to tell her.