Discovered (by accident) BIL is bankrupt. Do I tell SIL?

[PoppyWoods]

Part of my job is to check the insolvency register. It's a public register, freely accessible to all.

I put in various names, mine, my parents, my sisters and brothers, not expecting to find anything. Anyway to my horror I discovered my BIL was declared bankrupt 3 months ago. It's definitely him as it lists full name, address and dob.

My SIL has never mentioned it. We're fairly close and she's disclosed very personal things to me in the past, so I'm wondering if she even knows. Is it even possible that he could go through the process and her be totally unaware?

My dilemma is, do I tell her or not? What if she doesn't know? What if she does know and she's so mortified she hasn't told anyone? What if she accuses me of snooping and interfering?

I honestly don't know what I do with this information (if anything). Appreciate your thoughts

For showing herself to be untrustworthy and her employer may deem it to be a breach of trust and confidence.

I really have heard it all now. A breach of trust checking a public register in work time 🤣

I find it crazy that people are going on about data protection! I’ve used the insolvency register to randomly look up family or neighbours. Also healthcare registers (to check background of my nightmare neighbours who both work in healthcare), I then also looked them up via Companies House to find out just how many registered physiotherapy companies they have listed over the past few years. Then add a Google and Facebook search. All fully legal and publicly available.

@HeartsAndClubs

I wonder how many of the people expressing their outrage here would tel someone or would want to know if the same BIL was having an affair.

Because to my mind your partner being declared bankrupt potentially without your knowledge is far, far worse.

And moral outrage here aside, if your partner had been declared bankrupt without your knowledge, wouldn’t you want to know?

Bankruptcy has huge, huge ramifications. If she doesn’t know and they are married, she is suddenly liable for half their debts. They could lose their home, he will no longer be allowed to have access to a debit card other than to withdraw cash, the list goes on.

What if she is a SAHM and he deals with all the finances and she has no idea about any of them?

What if they don’t have a joint account so she only looks at what money is in her own account?

Clearly in order for him to have been declared bankrupt he is in significant debt already, and there’s a real chance she didn’t know about that either.

People here need to get down off their bloody high horses and think about the fact that a family could lose everything before they even know about it.

No, the OP shouldn’t have found out in the way she did, but now that she has, do people really think that the SIL shouldn’t be made aware in case she doesn’t know?

And again, if this was an affair, the majority of people here would say that they would want to know and that the person who knew had no right to keep the information to themselves.

So why not this?

If there were a public register of people who have had affairs, then you would have a point.

Equally, it is often said that maybe the spouse does know about affair(s), and to go blundering in to someone else's marriage is not necessarily a good thing.

Especially is it were a SIL who clearly has previous for snooping...

Yes I do “the cognoscenti”. I work in a health care setting and have done for many years. I am aware the register the OP is referring to is a public record. However just because they “can” look, doesn’t mean they “should”.

”For conducting activities in work time that do not fall within her role duties ie snooping on people she knows rather than completing the searches she is supposed to be doing. For showing herself to be untrustworthy and her employer may deem it to be a breach of trust and confidence.“

Don’t we all ‘conduct activities in work time that don’t fall within our role duties’ at some point though? Scrolling through social media etc

Even if she doesn’t know, it’s not your place to tell her.

You have done nothing wrong, but telling her would be getting involved in someone else’s marriage and that is wrong.

Pretend you never saw it. No good will come of it if you open your mouth. Actually you will look like the baddie, even if he has gambled.

Do not open your mouth!!!!

It really pisses me off when people come on here and give out to others, presenting utter bullshit like it’s fact. Stop weighing in on stuff you know nothing about just to have a go at someone you don’t know. It’s weird.

@Miniroofbox

I know someone who did exactly this. About 29 years ago. She worked for a bank in a business loan role and searched all family members she could think of in the gazette.

She let it slip to her sister that she knew a family member had been made bankrupt and the family member made a complaint.

Despite the gazette being public she lost her job.

If this is true, the person concerned would have had a valid claim for wrongful dismissal. It's none of the bank's business how their employees conduct themselves in relation to their relatives.

And she might have looked it up at hone, on her phone like you are all doing now!!

Of course she knows! Mind your own business and learn to be more professional.

@ ThisBeTheName if you see someone out in public with another man/woman then it’s public knowledge. In the same way someone’s bankruptcy is public knowledge.

And you only have to look at the threads where people have found out someone is having an affair to see the lengths some think you should go to to let the cheated-on partner know. From sending anonymous letters to batshit ideas like getting burner phones to check hotel reservations or to follow them to get pictures.

Yes, a lot of people would say don’t tell. But those people are usually far outnumbered by the masses telling them that keeping this information to yourself is wrong and that every woman would want to know so clearly as they would want to know (even if they might not,) they have a moral duty to tell the wife so that she can check for STD’s etc etc etc.

OP, why did you look yourself up? Were you worried that you had gone bankrupt and it had slipped your mind?

@Bluntness100

Ok somethings missing here, who goes looking on the insolvency register. So why did you look?

And of course she knows, don’t be daft.

Obviously, lots of people. It's an open register because the government fully intends that people should look at it.

I’ve just been on that register. Found out some rather interesting information as it happens.

@MrsSkylerWhite

You were clearly overstepping the mark and abusing your position. You must realise, you can’t just check up on people on a whim, just because you can.

I don’t know what your employer would make if it. Unethical would be a starting point.

This is just absurd. What position was she abusing? It's not like she had special access to the register because of her job, she had precisely the same access as the rest of us have. And yes, you can just check up on people on that register on a whim. If you fancy it, you could click on the link people have given above and enter any name you fancy. The clue's in the fact that it's an open register.

Everyone is free to look at it.

Just don’t use the info to hurt anyone. Delete it from your mind.

@3luckystars

And she might have looked it up at hone, on her phone like you are all doing now!!

Ahhhhh, but I bet she used work WiFi. And she was probably sitting in a chair at work causing wear and tear to the upholstery. She's committed gross misconduct, breach of trust, interference with human rights, health-and-safety offences, something-or-other that I once read about in a thread on employment law and high treason. Hang your head in shame OP.

(The link still isn't working for me )

Just because you can look, it doesn't mean you should and it definitely doesn't mean you should go telling. And I use "you" to mean generally not just the OP.

I don't think it's the same as seeing him kissing some woman in town. It's personal, and unless you know the ins and outs of their personal finances and how they split money or don't, it's a Nose Out job.

@MurielSpriggs

@Miniroofbox

I know someone who did exactly this. About 29 years ago. She worked for a bank in a business loan role and searched all family members she could think of in the gazette.

She let it slip to her sister that she knew a family member had been made bankrupt and the family member made a complaint.

Despite the gazette being public she lost her job.

Sssuurre she did! If you swallowed then you are an even bigger fool!

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@FleasInMyKnees

so all you are supposed to do at work is check for insolvency and disqualified Directors and report back to your manager, not spend time looking up various members of your family and then posting about it on social media.

Why do you think she's posting on social media at work, given that she didn't post till 8 pm?

Loving all these people shocked at the concept that people might use the computer at work for non-work purposes. Show me an office worker who claims never to have done that, and I'll show you a liar.

[quote Thatsjustwhatithink]@PoppyWoods

If intentially go looking for dirt and now you've found some?

Not your business and just plain fucking weird to think you need to bring this up with either of them and that it won't blow up in your face.

Lots of us do jobs that involve private information: you never ever gossip about it.[/quote]
But, of course, the point is that this is not private information.

I don't think it's the same as seeing him kissing some woman in town. It's personal, and unless you know the ins and outs of their personal finances and how they split money or don't, it's a Nose Out job. No it’s not the same. It’s worse.

After all, you don’t know their personal circumstances or how they conduct their relationship.

if he has an affair at least she would likely get half the house and assets.

If he’s declared bankrupt she will lose everything, including potential child maintenance if there’s no money.

But loving the idea that having an affair is somehow worse than screwing your family over financially, causing them to lose their house, their assets, potential employment (a lot of companies won’t employ someone who has been declared bankrupt.)

Could you write a sad ballad called " bankruptcy" and sing it with your eyes closed to fake empathy?
I bet you can't wait to tell her can you? What kind of wietdo does that on work time why can't you shop the ASOS dale like a normal person