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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
HemanOrSheRa · 02/09/2021 21:12

@burnoutbabe

I get it

We put our food shopping on a joint card and I tell him at month end what he owes me (50/50)

And if he remembered he went to butchers and bought stuff on his own card and we had lunch, he'd probably say to deduct that off what he owes.

Now whether it's really a joint food cost is debatable as he decided to do it himself but it was treating a guest in ones house so sort of qualifies -like a dinner party.

(I am an accountant!)

You get it?! Grin. I'm crying Grin.

This thread is marvellous. You know when you think your life is going to hell in a handcart then you discover how other people live? And you think 'Nah, we're fine, actually!'

Are you absolutely sure he only received a massage after the steak dinner? Were you there, watching Confused?! Sat in your robe?

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 21:12

So actually he should only be charging you £10 half her steak.
Because he had his steak on his own.

BorderlineHappy · 02/09/2021 21:12

Imagine laying on your belly after a huge steak ready for a massage!!!

Wouldn’t it have been less weird for him to go first, you next, he cooks whilst you’re at it, then you all relax and chow down on the beef.

OMG. I’m thinking way too hard about this entire scenario. I’m off to bleach my eyes
@Excelthetube 🤣🤣🤣

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/09/2021 21:12

Glad you managed to shoehorn the 5 star hotel reference in.

Other people’s lives 🤣🤣

LoulaJ · 02/09/2021 21:12

Don't forget to tip the bin men at Christmas. A BBQ should do it

🤣🤣🤣🤣

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:13

@MrsSkylerWhite damn straight! I work hard for what I want. Can't speak foe anyone else I'm afraid.

OP posts:
LoulaJ · 02/09/2021 21:13

@Butterflyfluff

Omfg - he watched her eat the steak?

It’s like something from Silence of the lambs!

🤣🤣
RosiePosieDozy · 02/09/2021 21:13

£40 steak from the butchers is shocking. Hope it was amazing.

The whole thing is strange to me. Cooking a dinner for a beautician who isn't a friend. A husband charging his wife.

She must be a good beautician.

therearenogoodusernamesleft · 02/09/2021 21:14

OP. Why did you not, at any point, say 'no, we're not going to ask the masseur to have steak with us, you absolute psycho'?

Angryfrommanchester1 · 02/09/2021 21:14

OMG 😳 I don’t think a massage with the aroma of grilled steak makes for a very relaxing experience.
Seriously OP this is weird AF. Whoever said ‘sex people’ got this right.

HemanOrSheRa · 02/09/2021 21:14

@burritofan

The itinerary doesn’t make it less weird!
Grin no it really doesn't. So he sat there watching you both eat? Oh my days Grin.
Bluebellsinparadise · 02/09/2021 21:14

Very weird provocative behaviour.

Assuming you’re in the U.K., what’s yours is his and vice versa legally. Why so picky about splitting everything?

arethereanyleftatall · 02/09/2021 21:15

So op, what other services do you pay for by cooking the worker food?

LoulaJ · 02/09/2021 21:15

This needs to end up in classics 🤣

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:15

OMG!! Peeps!! You're having me crying with laughter!

DH wasn't sitting there watching us eat!! He had to clean up the kitchen because he's a messy cook!

But I'm now visualising him doing the stare and...now I'm a little scared!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/09/2021 21:15

Very odd situation.

So you sat and watcher her eat your husband's meat before she massaged him?

TillyTopper · 02/09/2021 21:16

I don't find it weird that you'd pay for a steak as a vegan. I find it slightly strange you'd moan about tipping someone £20. I find it really weird that your DH cooked your massage therapist a steak!!

Rosesareredd · 02/09/2021 21:16

So many questions….
Did you both just sit there and watch her eat it, whilst she was giving your DH compliments?
So it was £40 for a piece of steak? Or did you pay for it all?
This has to be a wind up Confused

MolyHolyGuacamole · 02/09/2021 21:16

@MyGhastIsFlabbered

Absolutely weirdest thing I've read on MN since the woman shrieking at the Sistine Chapel
I never heard of this before so just did a search and had to stop. 10 posts in I'd snorted my orange juice through my nose. So then I thought I'd just filter the OP's responses but when I saw the last one 'security did escort me out' it set me off again and now I'm worried what the neighbours might think
burritofan · 02/09/2021 21:16

I think my favourite thing about all this is the thread title “DH charged me for steak…but I’m a veggie!” as though THAT’S the issue

Florelei · 02/09/2021 21:16

WTAF? YANBU

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 21:16

You didn’t eat it in the kitchen!!!

He served it up in the dining room on silver platters ?!?!

Or

You made her eat a £20 steak on a tray watching corrie with a mug of sweet tea !!??

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:17

@TillyTopper ermmm...tipping £20? Not a problem...never was. Unless I'm reading you wrong?

OP posts:
WalkInSomeoneElsesShoes · 02/09/2021 21:17

The mind boggles, what kind of feast does the gardener get after they’ve had an afternoon of hard labour? My best guess is an all you can eat buffet.

DuchessSilver · 02/09/2021 21:17

When he bought the steak, how did he tip the butcher? And did you bill you half of that?

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