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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH charged me for Steak...but I'm a Veggie!

791 replies

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 20:04

Not irate/upset/annoyed but just wanted to see how others would feel if it were them...

DH is a lovely guy but has his quirks (don't we all). For context, we split the household bills and big purchases 50/50 so he transfers the money into my account on the 1st of each month. For anything else, we just buy what we want/need out of our own money.

A few weeks ago, DH and I had some beauty treatments by a self-employed beautician who has a beauty room at home but is also mobile. I've only visited her a handful of times before, so we're friendly, but not friends. Before we left, she was telling us about other treatments she does, so DH and I booked in for a massage at our home (DH said he would pay as a treat) which took place a couple of days ago. As we were leaving, DH asked her if she liked steak, to which she said yes, so DH told her that he would make a steak dinner for her (DH loves to cook). I thought it was a bit odd offering to make dinner for her when she was coming over to work, but it was a friendly enough gesture by him. Please note this was his gesture, not mine. I would've just given her a tip at the end!

Anyway, the day of the massage arrived; DH went to the butchers and bought the steak. While I was enjoying my massage, he was cooking away in the kitchen. Beautician ate and enjoyed the steak and DH was loving the compliments.

Yesterday morning, 1st of the month, direct debits due, I checked my bank account and found that DH had transferred £20 less than he should have. When I asked him why, he told me, "for the steak!" I wouldn't have minded but I'm a vegetarian so I don't even eat bloody steak!

Yes, he paid for my massage...thought it was a treat, but it cost me £20 in the end. Still a bargain I suppose! What would you think?

OP posts:
Spysolation · 02/09/2021 21:00

I imagine you both like Donald and Jacqueline off Benidorm Grin

Hopeisnotastrategy · 02/09/2021 21:01

I just knew it would be a lovely fillet. Kudos there at least. You massively overpaid for the steak, but that's the least of your problems right now unfortunately. 💐

Not wanting to come on and be mean, but honestly OP, wake up and smell the coffee. Engage yourself with this weirdo if he's worth it, or toss him back in the pond. I know life is strange and especially so nowadays, but this is seriously weird. x

WalkInSomeoneElsesShoes · 02/09/2021 21:02

This is 50 shades of strange OP but each to their own.

What I can’t quite visualise is how this incredible woman managed to eat a steak dinner and then carried on working afterwards without spewing her dinner up? 🤮

MolyHolyGuacamole · 02/09/2021 21:02

@Excelthetube

Or even more odd. Did she do a couples massage…and then your DH and the “masseuse” sat and gobbled up a big steak after a happy ending. Whilst you the vegetarian had to stand and watch
While he fed her his meat Grin
IWasBornInAThunderstorm · 02/09/2021 21:03

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@burnoutbabe finally! I'm not such a weirdo as people are saying after all! Was about to check myself into the funny farm! But I work in finance too so maybe it's just "our type of people/profession!"[/quote]
Oh I didn't even answer the question YANBU. It's his luxury. We have a joint account and personal spending accounts steak for the massuest would be a personal spend..

bellie710 · 02/09/2021 21:03

The whole thing is random, we have joint accounts and all family money I can't imagine charging my DH for cooking someone dinner?!? However more weird is paying someone to come to your house then cooking them dinner.....

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:04

@GeorgiaMcGraw I do think it's funny! Especially because MNetter's imaginations run crazy and come up with all kinds of conclusions! That's why I can laugh!

OP posts:
Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 21:04

Imagine laying on your belly after a huge steak ready for a massage!!!

Wouldn’t it have been less weird for him to go first, you next, he cooks whilst you’re at it, then you all relax and chow down on the beef.

OMG. I’m thinking way too hard about this entire scenario. I’m off to bleach my eyes

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:05

@bellie710 I didn't charge him...

OP posts:
burnoutbabe · 02/09/2021 21:06

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@burnoutbabe finally! I'm not such a weirdo as people are saying after all! Was about to check myself into the funny farm! But I work in finance too so maybe it's just "our type of people/profession!"[/quote]
Haha us accountants are odd.

As you all ate together, I'd treat it like a dinner party where you may get guests stuff you wouldn't eat but still share the cost.

(But not combining finances with each other works for loads of couples for many reasons)

DocAutumn · 02/09/2021 21:07

That's such a weird opening post. A woman came round to your house, gave you both massages, ate a big steak but you didn't and then your husband charged you for her dinner?

BigSandyBalls2015 · 02/09/2021 21:08

I’d love the masseur to start a thread tonight ... “I’ve had the strangest day ... do you think this is odd, should I be wary” Grin

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:08

Ok, ok!! Let me explain...again..

I had my massage first while DH cooked steak.

Beautician ate steak whilst I ate Quorn.

Beautician finished steak.

Beautician gave DH massage.

Beautician left.

DH ate steak.

Dishwasher did the dishes!

OP posts:
LoulaJ · 02/09/2021 21:08

All very strange. The way you split your bills so specifically and in such a divisive way as a married couple, and cooking steak for a beauty therapist coming to your house. Just odd. Sorry.

BadNomad · 02/09/2021 21:09

What was wrong with just giving her a tip? I doubt she massages people's bodies for fun. It's a job. Give her money.

burritofan · 02/09/2021 21:09

The itinerary doesn’t make it less weird!

Skyla2005 · 02/09/2021 21:09

This is all so weird Did you make it up

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:09

@DocAutumn not just any woman!! She was a qualified beautician 🤣

OP posts:
Butterflyfluff · 02/09/2021 21:09

Omfg - he watched her eat the steak?

It’s like something from Silence of the lambs!

Excelthetube · 02/09/2021 21:10

WHAT!!! Wait
That’s worse. I thought at least you all sat together in a normal dinner type situation?

But actually your DH watched you and the masseuse eat together, whilst you praised him.

Then he had a happy time and ate a £20 steak all on his own.

AlrightThereSkippy · 02/09/2021 21:10

@burritofan

The itinerary doesn’t make it less weird!
I second this
bellie710 · 02/09/2021 21:10

[quote atleastthepoochlovesme]@bellie710 I didn't charge him...[/quote]
I know my point was I can't imagine charging my partner for cooking dinner, like he did to you.

ripples101 · 02/09/2021 21:11

Sorry OP, but I found this hilarious.

It’s £20. If he had tipped her for this, then the tip comes out of his treat for you. He’s paying after all for this service. Treating you, and treating you by paying her.

He’s a sad man to deduct half of his tip to her (from a treat he said he’d give to you) from the amount he (clearly decides that he) gives to you.

Sorry, but this is pathetically funny. Funny that he would do this. Pathetic that he would do this.

BoredZelda · 02/09/2021 21:11

£40 steak = London prices!

I can get a fillet steak (cooked with all the trimmings) at any number of steakhouses in London for less than 40 quid. If your butcher is charging you 40 quid for a raw steak, they are at it. Or, your husband is at it.

atleastthepoochlovesme · 02/09/2021 21:11

@bellie710 apologies, I misunderstood! 😘

OP posts: