If you wanted 3 but stuck with 2 did you make peace with it?

[gruffaloo]

Not really sure where to post this but decided to do it here for traffic.

We're deliberating the prospect of a third. I've gone back and read as many of the "should we have a third?" threads.

What I'd love to know is if you were keen on a third child but for whatever reason didn't go ahead with it, did you make peace with that decision?

I'd like a third but it's not an easy child to justify. There are lots of rational reasons for two but I feel I may regret not having three? But perhaps this is something I can over come? Something that is just short-lived?

I have a 3 year old, and a 1 year old.

[quote OrangeTortoise]**@gruffaloo* if people on the whole are choosing to have fewer children or increasingly choosing to be child-free does does that off-set my decision to have third?*

The UK population increased by approx 360,000 people last year, so I guess the answer to that is no.[/quote]
Is that increase based on births or immigration?

Took a long time

We always planned to have 3, DS1 is mine from a previous relationship. There's already a 5 year age gap between the 2 DS's and he tried for a third when they were 2 and 7 but sadly I MMC twice in quite quick succession. We considered to try again a few months later, but a combination of DH not wanting me to go through a MMC again and there being a 9 year age gap once baby was born, it was decided that we wouldn't.

We've just had the 10 year anniversary of the first MC and I still can't get my head around the fact we won't have anymore

For me, it was because I didn't say goodbye to having a baby, we always assumed we'd have the third, so when DS2 was born there was no "ah this is the last one, saviour it etc ", so I don't think I ever got closure.

Is that increase based on births or immigration?

According to the office of National Statistics the majority of the increase was caused by immigration.

My friend wanted a third so went ahead and got pregnant but ended up with twins, so now has 4 and is pretty stressed.

I did eventually but it took nearly 20 years. I only really got over it after the menopause.

Once we had made the decision not to try for a third DH had a vasectomy so I could come off the pill. It was only after that I realised how desperately I had wanted the third baby but it was too late then. It destroyed our sex life because I would break down and cry every time we had sex. The thought that no baby could come of it broke my heart every time.

I wanted three because although I knew it would be tough in the early years, I loved the thought of having three adult DC and big family get togethers etc. DH was dead against it though for all of the usual financial/practical/environmental reasons. Also, DH was one of three children and said one was constantly left out. I kept being incredibly broody though and was often in tears in DD2s first few months as I didn't want to force DH into having another so knew she'd be my last baby. However..... she's now approaching 3 and DD1 is starting school and I'm rapidly realising that I'm going to get some time back, life is becoming easier and childcare costs are going to be decreasing. For the past year and a half we've paid £1k a month in childcare and the end of nursery fees on the horizon means that we're going to have more money for savings and for doing things as a family. I think I liked the idea of having a third but wouldn't have enjoyed the reality.

Fair point OP - a fair chunk of that increase was due to immigration. However, births still outnumbered deaths in the UK in 2020 by over 100,000.