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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you prefer your friends over your siblings

117 replies

Hiyanice · 01/09/2021 16:23

Or not

OP posts:
TopTabby · 01/09/2021 19:33

I love my sister dearly but my relationship with my friends is so much easier. I prefer spending time with my friends, I think there's a lot more honesty.

ChiefAdjusterOfRubensShorts · 01/09/2021 19:37

Yes.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 19:40

If I had to choose, my sibling.

I can be totally myself with them whereas with friends I'm a bit more cautious about what I say and how I come across. I can also be totally honest with my sibling. So for example, if my sister and I were choosing a cafe to eat at and she choose one I didn't like, I'd just tell her. If that was a friend, I'd probably be more subtle

bonbonours · 01/09/2021 19:40

Absolutely. I have no issue with my brother and can have a perfectly pleasant conversation with him but we don't tend to choose to spend a lot of time together outside of family gatherings. If I had a problem or wanted a chat I would generally choose a friend over him.

bonbonours · 01/09/2021 19:42

I do hope my kids are closer as adults than me and my brother though.

babybythesea · 01/09/2021 19:45

My sister is my best friend. We live a few hours drive away from each other and so can't pop in but we holiday together several times a year, talk to each other most nights on the phone and the hardest part of lock down was that I couldn't see her.
We weren't close as kids, it's happened as adults. Our children are growing up with a very close relationship too which is lovely.

doadeer · 01/09/2021 19:46

No I love my siblings very much. No one else compares

hettysfeather · 01/09/2021 19:47

No. I prefer my sister

JoanWilderbeast · 01/09/2021 19:50

The author Armistead Maupin said: there are your biological family and your logical family. I happen to love my biological family but this is a wise statement.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 01/09/2021 20:15

Yes. My sister is a bully who has resented me all my life. Can't wait to go NC with her.

SunscreenCentral · 01/09/2021 20:23

Nope. My sis is my bestie

GoWalkabout · 01/09/2021 20:26

God yes

VestaTilley · 01/09/2021 21:08

Sadly, yes.

It’s a real shame but we have very little in common, and she can be a bit difficult (as I’m sure can I). I make the effort because she’s my younger DSis and because I adore my DNephew - but it’s never likely to be a very close or easy relationship, which I will probably always feel bad about.

Wrenna · 01/09/2021 21:10

Nope. I have one brother and we live hours away from each other but he would always come before my friends.

user1487194234 · 01/09/2021 21:11

No
Siblings are my best friends

maddening · 01/09/2021 21:17

I don't think there is one over the other, my child trumps everyone, then my parents, but all my other relationships Inc husband, friends and siblings all bring different things to my life and are unique to each other. Even between friends and between my 2 siblings.

89redballoons · 01/09/2021 21:17

My brother is one of my best friends. We have similar interests, politics, taste in music, taste in people - lots of my friends are now his friends too, and vice versa. His wife is also one of my best friends and they are my DC's legal guardians.

I think this is partly luck and partly the fact that we lost our dad in our late teens, which was a lot to go through and brought us closer together.

I'm not sure if I actually prefer him over all my friends, though, especially since I think there's something irreplaceable about female friendship that I obviously can't get from my brother.

Lostmarbles2021 · 01/09/2021 21:20

Dear god, yes!!!!

DukeOfEarlGrey · 01/09/2021 21:21

I love my siblings but am much closer to my friends. My sister is a very difficult, jealous character and I might be closer to my brother if she hadn’t been such a presence preventing it.

Comedycook · 01/09/2021 21:21

I also spend far more time with my sister than my friends...text her several times a day, phone each other most days, update each other on the most inconsequential things in our lives! Pop round to each others houses a couple of times a week. I wouldn't dream of bothering my friends that much Grin.

NerrSnerr · 01/09/2021 21:25

I see my brother once or twice a year (when I go and see my mum). We don't talk in between. I do like him but we wouldn't have been friends if we weren't siblings. My sister is dead but we would never have been friends. We got on ok but she was really jealous of my 'perfect' life (my life is far from perfect but she was a very chaotic alcoholic)

TeenWars · 01/09/2021 21:26

@Knittingupastorm

Yes. If my siblings weren’t my siblings, we wouldn’t be friends. I don’t hate them or anything, we just wouldn’t choose to be friends.
This...my siblings come from another planet.
Pinkspecs · 01/09/2021 21:27

I prefer my siblings.

Glitterblue · 01/09/2021 22:10

No, I adore my brother and we talk every day. But my best friend is like a sister to me.

YouMeandtheSpew · 01/09/2021 22:15

I think for some people the answer might depend on what you mean by ‘prefer’. E.g. do you mean ‘prefer to spend time with’ or ‘love’.