Separated 6 years. Realise DH Aspie. Mad to attempt reconciliation?

[16purplecolour16]

We were chatting via text and it was an epiphany that he is definitely on the spectrum. Has ALL the best qualities- loyalty, integrity, hard worker, caring. AND all the qualities that make a relationship with an Aspie challenging and in reality, soul destroying for both parties. Total absence of empathy, sense of superiority to camouflage not being able to comprehend another person’s feelings, OCD, need for solitude, disappearing into imaginary worlds.

I love him dearly but I demonstrated the typical compromised mental health of the NT partner when I left him. I just got ground down by the feeling of indifference and sense that he was constantly slipping away.

YABU that a reconciliation is possible? Because he has drifted away and a close relationship was too much. I would be putting in all the effort and find myself feeling diminished again as consequence. It’s a fantasy. Move on?

YANBU - now I know how to frame personal issues, it is possible to work together to get the best from the situation, Is this even possible?

Otherwise I will have to walk away from this relationship when there is much possibility for something good.

You have been separated for 6 years already. You are not walking away from a relationship, you simply need to be able to move on with your life. 6 years is a long time to be in limbo as you sound.

Otherwise I will have to walk away from this relationship

I say this gently, there is no relationship. You've been split for 6 years

Both right. Move on lady.

Could you be a couple but live apart? Then you've both got space to retreat to when the other is driving you up the wall, but you keep companionship, sex, fun stuff too.