Page 6 | Have you given up on your weight since having children?

Plonkton · 2021-08-31T18:24:27+00:00

I've got a stubborn 2 stone to lose, before children I was a size 10, 5 times a week gym goer. Now I'm a fat mess that has just given up. I feel like this is me now for life. I'm single so don't have anyone to impress! Have you accepted your post children body for what it is?

DrSbaitso · 03/09/2021 14:47

[quote labradorsandgin]@DrSbaitso I don't think I'm amazing, far from it. I never intended any offence to anyone else. I saw others feeling how I felt just a few months ago and wanted to point out that change is possible, that's all. I was miserable a few months back and now I'm not, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be- I wanted to point that out to people so they felt they could do the same.

Thanks for taking the time to make me feel rubbish.[/quote]
I should let you know that crap emotional blackmail doesn't work on me, especially in response to a post that clearly doesn't warrant it. I could say exactly the same about how your original post clearly made at least one person feel, which I ignored initially because I assumed it was a wind up.

You didn't seem to understand why some people didn't respond favourably to what you said, so I explained it. There's not much to be done if you don't like that.

bellsbuss · 03/09/2021 14:48

No I made sure I got back to pre pregnancy shape after all 4 of my children. It's not easy but I didn't want to end up bigger with every baby I had and I always knew I wanted a large family. Also I was slim when I met DP so didn't think it was fair to let myself go as I wouldn't like it if he let himself go.

labradorsandgin · 03/09/2021 14:58

@DrSbaitso If my earlier post upset anyone then that wasn't my intention. My sincere apologies to anyone else if that's the case.

It is clearly however your intention to upset me. Call it emotional blackmail if you like- but the honest truth is you've upset me, and clearly intended to do so. I spent time posting here with the honest intention to be helpful, but clearly I worded myself incorrectly, for which I am sorry. You appear to be spending time in order to antagonise me.

DrSbaitso · 03/09/2021 15:08

[quote labradorsandgin]@DrSbaitso If my earlier post upset anyone then that wasn't my intention. My sincere apologies to anyone else if that's the case.

It is clearly however your intention to upset me. Call it emotional blackmail if you like- but the honest truth is you've upset me, and clearly intended to do so. I spent time posting here with the honest intention to be helpful, but clearly I worded myself incorrectly, for which I am sorry. You appear to be spending time in order to antagonise me. [/quote]
Please do not inform me what my intentions are.

I explained why your post obviously upset someone (not me, I didn't take it seriously), because you clearly didn't understand why. Now you do. Hooray.

Now you're spending time trying to emotionally blackmail me and get me to stop responding (as we all know, the internet argument winner is the one who gets the last word). I might well stop responding, I've got stuff to do and flame wars have a shelf life for usefulness, but it won't be because you managed to manipulate me into it as you're obviously trying to do.

Original poster

Plonkton · 03/09/2021 22:15

Hi everyone, hope you're well.
Since I started this thread, I've reflected a lot and want to be the best version OF myself, FOR myself. First things first and point I want to address, I'm not in agreement to those making inference that losing weight etc makes you a better mother or role model.. I'm not obese, I have 2 stone of post baby weight to lose which I've struggled to find the motivation to do due to circumstances. Aside from that, I'm an exceptional role model to my daughter.. I work full time in a front line services role, I live in my own mortgaged property and my daughter, whom I raise 100% on my own and have done since day 1, is absolutely thriving in life. She's a happy, health and amazing little girl who is kind, well mannered and makes me immensely proud to be her mother, and I know that is all because of me.
So, not withstanding those comments and back to the point, I've made some radical changes and for the past 3 days I've exercised before starting work, I'm back to doing Les Mills on Demand at home and I've always loved it, just needed a kick up the back side to get me on the upward trajectory. I have tracking my food intake on my fitness pal and have cut portion sizes right down as well as carb intake. I have my alarm set for 5.45am tomorrow to exercise before my daughter is awake. I've realised in order to get the results I need to make the modification to my schedule and if that means I have to get up an hour earlier to exercise before work, then I just need to suck it up and get on with it, no excuses. I'm going to take it day by day, I plan on exercising 4 days a week, I've changed my rota for the next month at work as we now have more recruits so I'm in the office Monday to Wednesday and home on Thursday and Friday, I work long shifts in a very stressful job and log on earlier when I work from home, I've been working 5 days in the office and not taking up home working because my job is easier in the office environment and I like seeing my colleagues as I'm a single household and I don't like my home being my workplace. Anyway, I digress... I'm looking forward to hopefully really finding that deep set willpower, I know I can do it, I've lost weight several times before and the smallest I have ever been was a size 8.
once I find the rhythm I know it'll be simple.

OP posts:

FlowerArranger · 03/09/2021 22:36

@Plonkton - glad to hear you are finding your motivation. One hour early in the morning before work - I'm impressed!! BUT I hope you won't overdo it - even 15-20 minutes can make a lot of difference in terms of feeling more energised and having a positive outlook.

I don't know how old you are, but I expect the menopause is a long way off. Take it from me - a woman in my 60s who still skis like someone half my age - that the groundwork you lay now will serve you in good stead in your 50s. Weight-bearing exercise is so important to maintain strong bones.

ChaneySays · 03/09/2021 22:37

I really hope it works for you, OP, but ultimately it couldn't be simpler for most people without diabetes etc. You just need to eat less.

Too many people turn it into some huge complicated issue, which is IMO often just a long winded form of making an excuse/self justifying it.

derekthe1adyhamster · 03/09/2021 22:40

Yes. I was a size 10 21 years ago. Now I'm a 12-14. Age 48. Can't be arsed anymore. Life is too short

ChaneySays · 03/09/2021 23:00

I think a common mistake is 'eating for two' when the baby is the size of a walnut. That's a one way trip to chubston vasey!

DrSbaitso · 04/09/2021 09:17

@ChaneySays

I think a common mistake is 'eating for two' when the baby is the size of a walnut. That's a one way trip to chubston vasey!

Nobody thinks that. Although very early pregnancy does sometimes make you very hungry and crave certain foods to relieve nausea, as any fule kno.

It's not common at all. What's far more common is women stressing about weight gain as soon as they get a positive pregnancy test.

The kind of person who does hold the view that this is common, and who also uses terms like "one way ticket to Chubston Vasey" which were dated, embarrassing and try-hard in 2005, is generally someone with not much experience of female bodies in any context at all. And entirely in keeping with the rubbish I've seen you plonking in other threads too.

Nosferatussidebit · 04/09/2021 11:18

@ChaneySays

I think a common mistake is 'eating for two' when the baby is the size of a walnut. That's a one way trip to chubston vasey!

I actually lost weight in pregnancy and was lighter 3 days post birth than 3 days post conception by half a stone. However weight absolutely piled on when I was breastfeeding as I was ravenous beast.

Stumpholecavern · 04/09/2021 11:49

I put on weight in both my pregnancies. Didn't suffer with morning sickness but instead extreme hunger and migraines linked to hunger. I worked hard to lose the weight with baby no 1 - low carb and hit exercise 3x weekly, lots of walking everywhere on maternity leave.

Baby no 2 - same issues in pregnancy therefore gained weight. Unable to lose after due to lack of time/ energy and opportunity juggling toddler and a baby and I really did try!

Youngest started school this week and I'm hoping this is again an opportunity to get back on it. I have struggled to keep my weight down all my life but it's been so much harder after children

ChaneySays · 04/09/2021 12:56

The kind of person who does hold the view that this is common, and who also uses terms like "one way ticket to Chubston Vasey" which were dated, embarrassing and try-hard in 2005, is generally someone with not much experience of female bodies in any context at all. And entirely in keeping with the rubbish I've seen you plonking in other threads too.

I've nothing against fat people, but I'm not going to tread on eggshells as seems to be the expectation on here. Smoking, excessive drinking, overeating is all down to the individual and removing personal culpability just adds to this ridiculous notion that it 'happens' rather than is allowed to happen.

DrSbaitso · 04/09/2021 12:58

@ChaneySays

The kind of person who does hold the view that this is common, and who also uses terms like "one way ticket to Chubston Vasey" which were dated, embarrassing and try-hard in 2005, is generally someone with not much experience of female bodies in any context at all. And entirely in keeping with the rubbish I've seen you plonking in other threads too.

I've nothing against fat people, but I'm not going to tread on eggshells as seems to be the expectation on here. Smoking, excessive drinking, overeating is all down to the individual and removing personal culpability just adds to this ridiculous notion that it 'happens' rather than is allowed to happen.

Congratulations on missing the point. You keep on saving people with your fearless tough talkin', mate!

ChaneySays · 04/09/2021 12:59

is generally someone with not much experience of female bodies in any context at all.

And what does this even mean? You think I'm trans? 😂

DrSbaitso · 04/09/2021 13:02

@ChaneySays

is generally someone with not much experience of female bodies in any context at all.

And what does this even mean? You think I'm trans? 😂

That's what you took from it?

Work it out while you keep on correcting the world, one tough talkin' post on Mumsnet at a time.

ChaneySays · 04/09/2021 13:07

I really don't care what people do, but just own your decisions IMO. I've got a few mates who keep talking about quitting smoking, and every time we meet up they seem to feel the need to qualify their habit with something like "I'm giving up again next month....it's been manic at work".

You're either a smoker or you're not. You don't get magically excused from the ill effects if you're a 'smoker who quit, started again, but only for a month and is going to quit again next month, but not until after submission deadline'.

ChaneySays · 04/09/2021 13:11

I'm not totally unsympathetic though. If somebody wants to come to the gym and learn how to deadlift I'll gladly show them. But most who I know would rather talk about the symptoms than solve the problem.

TheCanyon · 04/09/2021 13:15

I was very lucky with my 4dc and spring back really quickly, though I was pretty small with them all anyway and seemingly can fill my body with all manner of shite and not put weight on. My boobs on the otherhand, depleted.