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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Have you given up on your weight since having children?

144 replies

Plonkton · 31/08/2021 19:24

I've got a stubborn 2 stone to lose, before children I was a size 10, 5 times a week gym goer. Now I'm a fat mess that has just given up. I feel like this is me now for life. I'm single so don't have anyone to impress! Have you accepted your post children body for what it is?

OP posts:
Opus17 · 01/09/2021 12:03

I actually feel more motivation to get it off now as i want to be healthier for my son and be around for longer (I'm much more than 2 stone overweight though!)

PartridgeFeather · 01/09/2021 14:33

Do the 10min stretchy ones on Les Mills till you feel like getting back into it. Better value for money than a real gym. Completely saved me from crisp and wine damage during lockdown.

Polkadots2021 · 01/09/2021 14:38

@Plonkton

I've got a stubborn 2 stone to lose, before children I was a size 10, 5 times a week gym goer. Now I'm a fat mess that has just given up. I feel like this is me now for life. I'm single so don't have anyone to impress! Have you accepted your post children body for what it is?
No, but that's because being 'me' means exercising & eating healthy as it's just who I am, so I ended up the same as before kids. All my great memories are in gyms, fitness stuff, and so on, so it's my happy place (still doesn't make it easy to work out when it's early/cold out/I'm knackered,, etc) 😄
onetwothreeadventure · 01/09/2021 14:50

I did for a while but have got back on track recently. I gained less than a stone in each of my pregnancies but then really struggled after my youngest was born followed by the lockdowns/wfh with two toddlers/never getting a second to myself.

I knew I was much bigger than before but it was only when I weighed myself and my scales app flagged me as obese that I realised just how much I'd lost control. I've since lost 25lbs and am slowly getting back to myself. I still can't believe how easy it was to give up and go into denial with my leggings and baggy jumpers!

LoulaJ · 01/09/2021 15:47

Not a chance. I was a gym fit toned size 8 for 35 years - I'm not giving that up just because I had a baby. I'm currently more like a 10-12 and lots of toning to do and fitness to regain, but baby is only 5 months so I'll get there. I'm determined to be gym fit and toned again by the next summer.

LoulaJ · 01/09/2021 15:48

@DrSbaitso

No, no and thrice no. I worked so hard to lose all that weight before I had my daughter and I worked hard to lose the baby weight. I'm happily married but if I were single I'd still keep up the fight, for ME.

But I can't overstate the importance of having a supportive partner who does his fair share at home, with the child and so on. I would find it MUCH harder if I didn't have that.

Totally this. My DP encourages me to go for a run or go to the gym while he has baby for an hour or so. Fitness is and always has been a crucial part of my identity though so I need it for my mental health. I'm a better mum when I'm active and fit.

sheusesmagazines · 01/09/2021 16:06

No I’m thinner than ever. Was fattest ever 6 weeks after I gave birth, spent a year losing 5 stone, and now maintain lower than ever. I want to be a good example to my children so that motivates me plus we cook healthy veg filled family meals (before we ate takeaway constantly). I’m 40, 23 weeks pregnant and still weigh 10 pounds less than I did when before became pregnant the first time!

I also work full time out of the home in a stressful job which helps as there is no time to eat!

It’s really hard of course but it was just a whole mindset change for me after I had DS.

Menofsteel · 01/09/2021 17:26

No way! I did 10ks before I had my kid, and by pure luck avoided stretch marks or loose skin, I worked like crazy to get “me” back. I have a lot of muscle and love my 6 pack. I worked 12 hour shifts after splitting from her dad 6 days a week and found that exercise actually increased my energy. I felt a lot less exhausted eating right and exercising. Give yourself a break OP and start slow. Psychetruth on YouTube have all kinds of workouts from 10 minutes to an hour. Start small and you may find you suddenly feel an energy surge. Good luck!

Lurcherloves · 01/09/2021 20:09

Try doing some HIIT training it’s effective and very quick. You can get a quick workout in first thing. I exercise first thing even if I don’t feel like it im usually ok when I start.

Undisclosedlocation · 01/09/2021 20:53

It sounds like in your previous life, you burned off the excess calories at the gym. Have you cut those extra calories from your diet though now you no longer have the time to exercise?

Conservatively, you might have burnt 500 cals per gym session (I do 30 mins running and it logs 300 and you did 3 times that amount) That’s 2500 a week, a whole extra days worth of generous eating!

GiveMeAUserName123 · 01/09/2021 20:54

Yes, but then the youngest reaches school age and gym is a possibility again!

HangingChads · 01/09/2021 21:48

Ooh this is an interesting question. I've given up on worrying about my weight but have not, and will never, give up on my health. That's even more important now that I'm a mother, to stay healthy and happy for my DC!

89redballoons · 01/09/2021 21:59

My DS is 20 months. I was a size 14, BMI hovering around 25 when I got pregnant with him. Breastfeeding meant the baby weight dropped off me but I'm a good couple of stone heavier now Sad

It's partly not having time to exercise (I used to get up before 6 and go to the gym to lift weights before work! sounds hilarious now). It's also partly (mainly) comfort eating, to be honest. I've had to give up on a lot of my previous hobbies and interests because of a combination of new motherhood and lockdown, and cooking and eating have been one of my only outlets for stress this last 18 months. I know it's not brilliant but it is what it is.

I stopped BFing a few months ago and DS sleeps through reliably now. I started going to a couple of exercise classes I used to enjoy and eating a bit more healthily and my clothes did get a bit less tight. Aaand now I'm pregnant again and all I want to do is eat tangy cheese doritos and sleep all day...

I don't want more than 2 DC so hoping that in another few years the toddler madness will be over and I can focus on myself a bit more.

Itsbeen84yearss · 01/09/2021 22:02

I’ve given up until she starts sleeping better. Then I’ll give it a go. Hungry and exhausted won’t do

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 01/09/2021 22:07

I haven't given up

But right now I've called a ceasefire while I wait for reinforcements.

My problem is diet, my metabolism has changed and I simply can't eat what I used to, and I am still trying to slowly adapt how I eat. I've accepted that if a change is going to be sustainable it will be slow though and that's helping.

Mindyourbusiness22 · 01/09/2021 22:36

@Jangle33

No far from but gym 5 times a week is pretty selfish option with kids!
How on earth is that selfish?!
trancepants · 01/09/2021 22:44

I gave up. I was 'body positive' about my mum body. Then I saw a photograph of myself when I was 39 and at a stage where the jeans I'd bought, to replace the jeans I'd bought when my normal jeans were too small, were too tight. I either needed to go up a 4th size and enter my 40s, and probably the rest of my life with an ever expanding waist. Or take control. So I did. I fixed my diet, got to a healthy BMI before my 40th. Found my sport and became strong and athletic. I wear jeans 3 sizes smaller than my 'normal' jeans now.

Onairjunkie · 01/09/2021 22:44

No, I’m the shape I was before, potentially with better abs. But, it was something that triggered my prenatal depression so I kept up a strict (but enjoyable, I love exercise) regime while pregnant, wore a Belly Bandit immediately post birth and was back gently exercising by a couple weeks after my section.

I couldn’t give up. It seems ‘shallow’ to some people but the idea of not recognising myself post birth really, really worried me for some reason.

ChaneySays · 01/09/2021 22:57

Nobody is obliged to lose weight or should do it if they don't want to, but I don't understand why so many people seem to think that having kids automatically dictates that you're going to put more food in your mouth. You can just as easily not eat it.

GreyEyedWitch · 01/09/2021 23:05

No, I haven't given up! I have a 10 month old DC and I was 4 stone heavier at full term. I decided not to check my weight for a couple of months after giving birth as I didn't see the benefit. I was eating to keep energy levels up while being sleep deprived but tried to make up for it with daily walks.

Pre-pregnancy I was pretty athletic and weighed around 9.12 stone at 5'6. I'm 10.6 stone now and I fit in most of my old clothes but I'm obviously softer. I'm very comfortable with my body though and I know that I'll eventually get to where I want to be.

I also agree with PPs though, it's about diet rather than exercise OP.

Fispi · 01/09/2021 23:18

I haven't given up but I am struggling. The weight fell off after DC1 but it hasn't shifted at all after DC2. BF both times but doesn't seem to be helping weight loss second time around! DC1 is 3 and very full on, DC2 is 3 months. My diet has been atrocious but I am very motivated to change that as I have a wedding to go to soon. I miss exercise so much but even getting in a 10 minute YouTube video is stupidly hard at the moment. I need to get 2 stone off, ideally 2.5 stone. I want my lovely clothes back and to feel like me. It feels like there's a mountain to climb.

nc5698 · 01/09/2021 23:18

No! I like being slim. Size 10 is my limit. Apart from maternity clothes, I refused to buy any size over a 10 and forced myself to get back to pre-DC size so I had clothes to wear!

Ok, so I'm not as toned as I used to be, but I'm happy with my body.

labradorsandgin · 02/09/2021 06:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrSbaitso · 02/09/2021 06:22

@labradorsandgin

I don't get why people say they can't diet while looking after young children as they're too tired. I allowed myself a grace period for a couple of weeks while I recovered from my section, but since then I've just been tracking my calories and it's not hard.

And to those who said they can't be hungry and tired, eating in a calorie deficit doesn't mean you have to be hungry- you just use your calories wisely.

I just don't get it to be honest- it's pretty simple!

It's more about the headspace. It takes energy to watch your intake and plan meals etc. And the exhaustion means a lot of sugar temptation.
twinningatlife · 02/09/2021 06:31

I had twins - Im 50/50 - ive lost some of the weight but the other half of me is accepting that things will never go back as they are and im too knackered to do anything about it