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Original poster

Have you given up on your weight since having children?

144 replies

Plonkton · 31/08/2021 19:24

I've got a stubborn 2 stone to lose, before children I was a size 10, 5 times a week gym goer. Now I'm a fat mess that has just given up. I feel like this is me now for life. I'm single so don't have anyone to impress! Have you accepted your post children body for what it is?

OP posts:
LaBellina · 02/09/2021 07:46

@ChaneySays

Nobody is obliged to lose weight or should do it if they don't want to, but I don't understand why so many people seem to think that having kids automatically dictates that you're going to put more food in your mouth. You can just as easily not eat it.
Do you have children ?

Pregnancy, no time for cooking with a new born, hormonal imbalance after birth etc. can all contribute to weight gain.
It’s called baby weight for a reason.

LaBellina · 02/09/2021 07:47

And to answer your question OP, no I haven’t given up, need to shed a few more pounds (currently on a diet) and then I’ll have my old weight back. I do feel it’s harder to lose weight then before I had DC but could also be age related.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 02/09/2021 08:07

It is hard to exercise with small kids and full time job

Some gyms offer childcare. It’s money we’ll spent (if you can afford it) as it benefits you mentally and physically

spicychickenwing · 02/09/2021 08:23

Hi OP. I think its about expectations-you are comparing exercise/healthy living success to what you were able to do in a different lifetime and assuming anything that isn't that is failure. I am having similar in so much as i am regularly exercising but a massive new job is meaning a one hour plus home session is much harder now and i need to go for the half hour options-and its been a battle for my mind to accept it as 'worth it'. This is simply my new reality. What could you achieve now? What would successfully working towards this look like in your life?

Dr Chatterjee (gp off the telly and books) talks about planning lifestyle changes for the bottom of the motivation curve and not the top. So that the chance of them sticking is higher.

Perhaps something like ensure 10,000 steps a day. Be mindful of portion sizes. And reduce snacking/sweet treats to alternate days. What low level changes would work for you?

With small changes mostly around food a good chunk of the 2 stone should come off and you may then need a plan for the rest. But also are any of us our pre baby weight? Is the two stone off weight you are your leanest ever gym five times a week self. If so would it be easier to set a different target-like one stone. Or half a stone or one dress size and then see how you feel?

vivainsomnia · 02/09/2021 08:36

You've go plenty of time to lose it. My mum has just lost one stone, going from 10 to 9 stones and she's 74! through a dietician led diet. Only because she wanted to be fitter and feel better about herself.

AlmightyBob · 02/09/2021 08:44

You seem fixated on exercise as a solution. Exercise is important for other reasons than weight loss, of course, but as lots of people have said now, diet is more important in this respect. If you are mostly sedentary you are probably eating more than you need. Watch portion sizes and try not to snack and you'll see a difference from those measures alone.

I exercise regularly (5-6 days a week) and have done for years, because I love it. My weight and body fat % has still fluctuated a lot depending on my diet.

DrSbaitso · 02/09/2021 09:07

As determined as I was to lose my baby weight, there was no way I could give it proper focus for a long time. I had serious PND and I was stitched up, bleeding, leaking, sobbing, exhausted and barely good for anything at all. I had both mums round and couldn't as much as rinse a teaspoon.

A lot of the weight just came off naturally in the first few months (although breastfeeding really wasn't the miracle everyone said it would be), but it was a year or so until I could start making active effort about it. Having a baby isn't just a layer of fat.

FlowerArranger · 02/09/2021 09:14

@Plonkton - do one, or preferably two - of these every day:

They are only 10 minutes each, but they'll make you look and feel so much better Smile

QueenofKattegat · 02/09/2021 09:22

No far from but gym 5 times a week is pretty selfish option with kids!

So true. Once you've reproduced you can't be so selfish as to have an hour at the gym 5 times a week to improve your physical and mental health. You must be at home, tied to the kitchen and/or sprogs.

Grim attitude.

DrSbaitso · 02/09/2021 09:32

I'm absolutely fine with being a little bit selfish in every aspect of my life. My experience is that it actually makes me a better person.

SafeMove · 02/09/2021 10:01

It's hard isn't it. We only have the outside of our bodies to look at but I think we would do better if we could see inside too. I would find that more motivating I think. I work in health research and the my perception of weight is changing. Fat around your vital organs is the key indicator of health and you can't see it! Fat on your bottom, thighs etc doesn't have that much bearing on your overall baseline health. It is the fat around your middle, heart and liver that is problematic and IMO the biggest indicator of your physical condition is insulin and how your body deals with that. I have just drank half a glass of orange juice and I worry about how that will flood my liver. I don't think focussing on the external condition of your body is that helpful, I think if we were taught to think about how sugar, alcohol and trans fats hurt our lungs, our heart and our brain we might fare better with the obesity crisis. Instead we focus on bingo wings etc.

I am about 10 stone and 5 foot 4 and have had 3 DC and I am a size 12. I probably look 'too heavy'. But I regularly walk up mountains because I love it, I am not sure that I am actually 'unhealthy' and I think inside I am pretty good as I cope really well with strenuous exercise. Is the ability to do that affected by my weight? DP is about 9 and a half stone and does lots of exercise but I think most of his good health is from his nutrition too - he works in theatres so he gets to see the organs up close and he declines to eat/drink certain things because of it. I think we wouldn't just give up if we could see what our choices actually do physiologically.

1990b · 02/09/2021 10:08

Yes. I hate my body and had my baby 6 months ago. I need help 😫

spanielsandfourbyfours · 02/09/2021 10:10

As people have said time and time again- stop fixating on exercise for now and change your diet. The idea of it is harder than the reality I find.

Eat more protein and fat, calculate your TDEE and eat in a calorie deficit. It's simple really!

spanielsandfourbyfours · 02/09/2021 10:11

Also I have two under 1.5, so yes it can be done with multiple young children.

FlowerArranger · 02/09/2021 10:19

@spanielsandfourbyfours

As people have said time and time again- stop fixating on exercise for now and change your diet. The idea of it is harder than the reality I find.

Eat more protein and fat, calculate your TDEE and eat in a calorie deficit. It's simple really!

Absolutely not!! Exercise is crucial. Not just because of how it makes you look, but because of how it makes you FEEL.

I'll go as far as saying that weighing a bit more than you 'should' is absolutely fine as long as you are fit.

Exercise energises you. Even 10-15 minutes can make all the difference.

spanielsandfourbyfours · 02/09/2021 10:23

@FlowerArranger no one's doubting that exercise makes you feel better, but OP keeps on stating that she can't lose weight as she doesn't have time to exercise and I'm just pointing out that weight loss is predominately down to diet, which should be affected by having a young baby.

spanielsandfourbyfours · 02/09/2021 10:23

*shouldn't

DrSbaitso · 02/09/2021 10:30

Diet was definitely affected by my young baby. Breastfeeding made me very hungry and having no sleep made me reach for sugar to function during the day. Not to mention the pressures of PND and physical recovery.

If losing weight were so easy with a baby, it would be even easier without one, yet it's clear many people struggle even in the best conditions. It's not complicated, but that doesn't mean it's easy.

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 02/09/2021 12:02

Diet is definitely affected by having a baby/toddler

It means you get less sleep than you need, lack of sleep can cause carb cravings for quick energy fixes

CFEC · 02/09/2021 12:16

OP, start doing the 16:8 intermittent fasting. Choose an 8 hour window to eat in and stick to it. Mine is 11am-7pm or 12-8pm depending on what time I have dinner. I downloaded the Fastic app which tracks my fasts and tells me how long I've been fasting for and gives me a notification when it's over and I can eat.

I've been doing it for 10 days now and have lost 3.5 lbs already and I'm only 8st something so not an awful lot to loose. The best bit is I eat fairly normally in my 8 hour window, even went out for a 3 course meal last weekend and still lost! I can easily go til 11/12/1pm now without eating.

Try it, no major dieting or exericse needed (I am active though and do get my 10,000 steps in each day)

TurquoiseDress · 02/09/2021 12:47

Absolutely not...never!

Trying to fit in exercise with small children is hard- maybe for now focus on things you can control like your diet?

I don't mean go on actual diet, just be more aware of what you are eating, the good and the bad!

I'm early 40s with 7&3 year old

Pre-kids I was size 8-10 lots of regular exercise, sport, gym going

Now I'm a size 10-12 and over the last months I've lost weight- around 4kg
Doesn't sound much but it's all relative

I feel much better already and have been inspired to do more exercise and try to lose more weight & eat more healthily

I am not and never have been a diet person, it's just not my thing

Good luck, I'd encourage you to go for it and make the changes you need to lose the weight which will help you in lots of other areas not to mention boost your self confidence!

Nosferatussidebit · 02/09/2021 15:46

I've given up. I'm literally on the go from 5.45am to 9pm. I just don't know how I can fit in exercise. And I'm struggling to cook healthy meals. The kids eat mainly at school and nursery and DH is an awful cook.

ChaneySays · 02/09/2021 20:32

@Nosferatussidebit

I've given up. I'm literally on the go from 5.45am to 9pm. I just don't know how I can fit in exercise. And I'm struggling to cook healthy meals. The kids eat mainly at school and nursery and DH is an awful cook.
But most of it is diet unless you're wanting to do squats/deadlifts etc to firm up your bum or whatever. The less time you have in general the less time you should have to eat so it doesn't make sense that you're finding time to massively overeat. When I don't have much time I just snack on bananas, protein shakes, huel, etc, which is presumably an option for you if the kids have usually already eaten. Eating less gives you more time.
BigButtons · 02/09/2021 22:46

@FlowerArranger agreed. People can find the time. I quite understand that it’s maybe not that appealing and an effort.

cherish123 · 02/09/2021 22:48

No. As you get older, it is harder to maintain weight. However, I don't actually believe having children affects your weight.