Have you given up on your weight since having children?

[Plonkton]

I've got a stubborn 2 stone to lose, before children I was a size 10, 5 times a week gym goer. Now I'm a fat mess that has just given up. I feel like this is me now for life. I'm single so don't have anyone to impress! Have you accepted your post children body for what it is?

Hi I put on 3 stone with my 2 pregnancies. Heaviest of my life at 47 with 2 dc. Had an epiphany, left my useless husband, now am.in best shape ever at 50.
My advice, cut out carbs. No bread, rice, pasta, mainly plant based diet. Exercise in the house, online stuff, kids are there but you can fit it around them.
Work.part time and claim benefit, single parenting easier and you get as much money as a ft job.
Bike and walk.only at weekends.
Oh and join an open water swim group with a creche!!

@Signoramarella

Hi I put on 3 stone with my 2 pregnancies. Heaviest of my life at 47 with 2 dc. Had an epiphany, left my useless husband, now am.in best shape ever at 50. My advice, cut out carbs. No bread, rice, pasta, mainly plant based diet. Exercise in the house, online stuff, kids are there but you can fit it around them. Work.part time and claim benefit, single parenting easier and you get as much money as a ft job. Bike and walk.only at weekends. Oh and join an open water swim group with a creche!!

No need to cut out carbs at all! And not healthy to. Just be sensible with them as they're so calorie expensive. So one slice of toast for breakfast not two, and measure out 75g of pasta for one serving etc.

Yesterday I ate a huge bowl of creamy pasta for lunch and a burger for dinner, on top of porridge for breakfast as well as snacks and I still only hit 1450 calories, and didn't feel like I was missing out on anything. It's just about making smart choices.

I'm in the same boat. I agree that diet is the key, not exercise. I'm planning on doing weight watchers after I give birth (am 12 weeks pregnant). I can't believe what I see when I look in the mirror sometimes. It's like looking at a woman 20 years older than I am! I used to be a size 8!

No, not at all. I exercise far more regularly now than I ever did before children. However, when they were as young as yours and I was son my own, that was nigh on impossible, and my size was largely due to genetics. I have never really dieted or has to lose a level amount.

Never! Had my second in May and was my heaviest ever at a BMI of 30. Weighed in today and hit a healthy BMI for the first time since last summer.

It's about how you feel. If your weight doesn't bother you, that's fine. If it does, you can do something about it.

Like PP I also do 16-8 intermittent fasting, it's easy and there is a very supportive reddit community. Working out helps mental health and helps tone up. I find exercise helps to keep me motivated to stick to my fast because I've put the effort in, if that makes sense.

@spanielsandfourbyfours

As people have said time and time again- stop fixating on exercise for now and change your diet. The idea of it is harder than the reality I find.

Eat more protein and fat, calculate your TDEE and eat in a calorie deficit. It's simple really!

I could not agree with this more! It really is that simple (not easy, but straightforward).

I gave up for 7 years after the birth of my 3rd child. It was easier to say I was tired, too busy etc while eating lots of cake every day, but really I just couldn't be arsed. Once the motivation hit me last year there was nothing stopping me. I lost 45lb and an in the best shape of my life. Age and having children has nothing to do with it.

No way! I’m 45, it’s difficult to stay slim but not impossible. It does require sacrifice however and in general if you’re not prepared to do that, you’ll stay fat. I find intermittent fasting brilliant and easy. I try to choose low carb options most of the time and only drink water and tea at home. I can have treats but I have to pay close attention

@babouchette

I'm in the same boat. I agree that diet is the key, not exercise. I'm planning on doing weight watchers after I give birth (am 12 weeks pregnant). I can't believe what I see when I look in the mirror sometimes. It's like looking at a woman 20 years older than I am! I used to be a size 8!

Why would you go to weight watchers, paying someone with zero qualifications who won’t teach you how to maintain the weight you lose over a qualified nutritionist?

@labradorsandgin

I don't get why people say they can't diet while looking after young children as they're too tired. I allowed myself a grace period for a couple of weeks while I recovered from my section, but since then I've just been tracking my calories and it's not hard.

And to those who said they can't be hungry and tired, eating in a calorie deficit doesn't mean you have to be hungry- you just use your calories wisely.

I just don't get it to be honest- it's pretty simple!

Piss off

Don't see why people are getting annoyed. Being overweight actually takes effort as you need to overeat. It's not like you put on weight by not finding the time to eat. It's poor food choices and excuses in 99% of cases.

@Itsbeen84yearss defensive, much?

As you say you don’t get it. Most people who over eat are emotional eaters and it’s like any eating disorder it comes from mental health problems. So no it’s not pretty simple at all.

@Itsbeen84yearss

As you say you don’t get it. Most people who over eat are emotional eaters and it’s like any eating disorder it comes from mental health problems. So no it’s not pretty simple at all.

If someone genuinely has binge eating disorder then I very much feel for them, but that's not a product of having children. This thread is about regaining pre baby weights/bodies. In which case it's a simple matter of people choosing to eat too much. There was no need to get rude about it- I'm sorry it's such an emotive topic for you.

In which case it's a simple matter of people choosing to eat too much.

It's not eating too much, but eating too many calories. Someone said to me up thread they didn't understand how I could be eating too much yet not have time to cook. It's simple- quick and easy foods are higher in calories. Yes I snack on fruit, but fruit doesn't fill you up for long due to lack of protein. Peanut butter on toast is quick and filling but also calorific. A stir-fry is quick, but you have to stand by the hob to make it. A microwave meal allows you to get on with other jobs at the same time, but is more calorific and less nutritious. DC1 fed almost constantly so I was only using 1 hand to do stuff so needed easy to cook/ eat stuff and the exhaustion meant I was living off sugar and caffeine. It was a very bad diet and I do eat less sugar now but I'm someone who does much better off 3 proper meals a day than through grazing. It's not 1 size fits all.

@labradorsandgin it may have been simple for you, but many people seem to struggle.

Saying it should not be hard is not a helpful comment for those for whom it IS hard

Personally, for me, it was not hard as I had time to do exercise, and as exercise promotes feel good hormones and better sleep, I felt a lot less tempted by snacks abd biscuits.

People often say it’s all about diet, but in my ver limited experience I have found that those who do exercise, are in better shape physically and mentally.

You can’t look at the body in isolation, as a droefste entity from the mind. For mind snd body exercise is essential. You would not dream of not exercising your dog, for example, and just give them less food. Doing that would lead to dogs making poor decisions out of boredom and frustration. Humans are not that different from other mammals really

To be honest, @labradorsandgin, I assumed you were on the wind up with that comment, which is why I ignored it. It was so facile, self-congratulatory and tone deaf in the context, that I didn't see how it could have any other purpose. You always get those remarks in weight loss conversations.

If weight loss and maintenance were so easy, we wouldn't have an obesity problem and a massive, multi-zillion pound weight loss industry. And most people who want to lose weight don't have the stress and exhaustion, not to mention physical recovery, of a new baby and recent labour.

I've lost a lot of weight, maintained it and lost my baby weight, so I know how it's done and I know it isn't complicated. But that doesn't mean it's easy, or there would be no overweight people. And actually it can be complicated if what is required is a total overhaul of the way you cook and prepare food.

Agree with PPs that exercise is important. It's just that you can't run off a bad diet. But I find I naturally make healthier choices when I'm exercising as it's so good for my mental state, which is where weight loss really happens.

OK, I think I need to rephrase. It is a simple fact that eating less/better will cause weight loss, and is the main driver (much more so than exercise). OP has stated she doesn't have time for exercise- obviously this isn't ideal but the point is that she can choose to lose weight through diet alone.

The change in mind set is hard, that's true. Especially when sleep deprived, recovering from a traumatic birth etc, I know that all too well. But once you start eating well and in a deficit, I personally don't find it hard to continue.

And maybe I did come across as self-congratulatory- I don't see why I shouldn't. I'm rightly proud of myself and it's a lovely feeling- others can choose to do the same and I hope they would feel proud of themselves too.

For now I have and i can’t see a way out to be honest. I feel so low about it.

I have newborn twins, they are 6 weeks but it’s fucked my body up so bad this time. Last time I was back down easily, I’m not breastfeeding anymore which doesn’t help.

My stomach is horrific. I weigh 12 and a half stone. I’m only 5ft 4ish.

Saving up for a tummy tuck and I hope I will be able to get fit again in a few months. My clothes dont fit and I look horrendous.

@labradorsandgin

OK, I think I need to rephrase. It is a simple fact that eating less/better will cause weight loss, and is the main driver (much more so than exercise). OP has stated she doesn't have time for exercise- obviously this isn't ideal but the point is that she can choose to lose weight through diet alone.

The change in mind set is hard, that's true. Especially when sleep deprived, recovering from a traumatic birth etc, I know that all too well. But once you start eating well and in a deficit, I personally don't find it hard to continue.

And maybe I did come across as self-congratulatory- I don't see why I shouldn't. I'm rightly proud of myself and it's a lovely feeling- others can choose to do the same and I hope they would feel proud of themselves too.

I'm very proud of my weight loss. I'm proud because it was bloody hard. Knowing how hard it is is why I wouldn't tell others that I don't see why they can't just be as amazing as I am. Because it's hard. And many people don't have the helpful environment that I had.

If you don't find weight loss hard, great, but I don't see why you'd be proud and self congratulatory over something that you found easy. On the other hand, if it was hard, it shouldn't be difficult to see why not everyone manages it.

@Mamatotwinsplusone

For now I have and i can’t see a way out to be honest. I feel so low about it.

I have newborn twins, they are 6 weeks but it’s fucked my body up so bad this time. Last time I was back down easily, I’m not breastfeeding anymore which doesn’t help.

My stomach is horrific. I weigh 12 and a half stone. I’m only 5ft 4ish.

Saving up for a tummy tuck and I hope I will be able to get fit again in a few months. My clothes dont fit and I look horrendous.

Please be kind on yourself. Your babies are still so, so young, and you had twins!

After my second pregnancy I was so sad about my post partum body and was convinced it would never go back to even close to what it had been before. I think this is because like you after DC1 my body sprang back really quickly, so when it didn't second time around I felt so despondent. But it did go back, it just took a few months instead of a couple of weeks!

@labradorsandgin thank you that’s interesting you found it harder the second time too. I don’t remember it being this bad, I am worried as I had a c section this time. My stomach seems to hang in a way it didn’t last time with my singleton. I’m not sure if it’s due to my scar or just my extra weight gain. Plus the stretch marks are insane because my bump was so big with the twins. It’s early days so time will tell. Definitely don’t feel strong enough to exercise or even stop eating biscuits yet.

@DrSbaitso I don't think I'm amazing, far from it. I never intended any offence to anyone else. I saw others feeling how I felt just a few months ago and wanted to point out that change is possible, that's all. I was miserable a few months back and now I'm not, and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be- I wanted to point that out to people so they felt they could do the same.

Thanks for taking the time to make me feel rubbish.

[quote Mamatotwinsplusone]@labradorsandgin thank you that’s interesting you found it harder the second time too. I don’t remember it being this bad, I am worried as I had a c section this time. My stomach seems to hang in a way it didn’t last time with my singleton. I’m not sure if it’s due to my scar or just my extra weight gain. Plus the stretch marks are insane because my bump was so big with the twins. It’s early days so time will tell. Definitely don’t feel strong enough to exercise or even stop eating biscuits yet.[/quote]
That's the same as me- had my first section for DC2. I too wondered if it was the section that did it, but I think in hindsight it was probably just the fact that it was a second pregnancy.

Your stomach will go back down in time. Eat all the biscuits you need right now and be kind to yourself. And know that when you're ready and have the energy to, that you can get your old body back. I know it feels impossible though- I've been there!