To have a back up school bag?!

[amiasheep]

11 year old son chose a Smiggle bag for school. I suggested it was too young and he looked a bit hurt as he really liked it. So we bought it and I said it was lovely (it is).
I have just now ordered a bog standard black Nike one to tuck away as back up and I'm feeling guilty for not getting on board with individuality etc.

I'm not particularly conventional so not sure why I try to make him "fit it".

(It won't go to waste, I am in need of a new bag for walks etc)

We have several pairs of Nike Flyease trainers/baseball boots. We have tried the various elastic lace options.
The Nike range are great.

I must admit that I wouldn't have let dd take a smiggle bag to secondary. In your shoes I would suggest he takes the black bag for the first week and then see how he feels.he can swap over later once he has the lay of the land.
IMHO it's not squashing individuality. It's using your greater understanding of the way the world works to help him navigate it safely.

Agh can I just hijack a minute to ask of these velcro shoes are a no no? They are the only ones DS wanted in the whole bloomin shopping centre but I dont want him to be a target!

Now this is making me worry. My son is away with a graffiti bag with chunky zip but defo really patterened. His trainers for pe have mock laces and 1 velcro strap. They are adidas. This was a compromise from his clarks 3 strap trainers that he insists are his favourite shoes ever

Day one in Yr7 is just not the place to stand out. Once you've settled in and made friends individuality becomes so much easier

Smiggle bags and velcro shoes are sadly just setting them up to be an easy target. Not right but that's the way it is.

Possibly also worth mentioning sticky name labels, sharpie is the way to go at secondary school. Basically you want to avoid anything that looks like it belongs to a primary school child.

I'd agree. Dd has gone to school with a very plain black Nike rucksack and plain black shoes as has everyone else.

Shes my 4th and ime year 7 is such a tricky time and if they look like a primary school kid it will be noticed. It is sad but the way it is.

They do find small ways to express themselves individually as they go through theyears but they all are mindful they don't want to look too different

I wouldn't feel at all comfortable about my Y7 taking a Smiggle bag to school, I really wouldn't. A plain sports brand backpack is a far safer bet to start out with. Most kids are nice but some are so judgemental and relish the chance to sneer at someone for some "transgression". Kids who aren't NT are even more likely to get it in the neck through being a bit different to start with. I didn't get any guidance from my mum about school stuff (and cocked up big style), so it's great that you're looking out for your DS...

My son's school has implemented a strict policy of school backpacks only, you can have them embroidered with your child's initials or name but they MUST have the school one. Same for PE bags, and they have also implemented a school coat. It's supposed to be acceptable for kids to wear out of school too, so parents don't have to buy an additional coat, but I think we all know it's unlikely to work that way.

This policy is because a) some parents buy ridiculously expensive coats for their kids, like those Canada Goose ones, and b) there is so much strife about having the "right" school bag and kids were being laughed at for having the "wrong" style. Obviously kids who bully others will find other things to pick on them with but at least the school bags and PE bags are not an issue that we are fretting over.

I remember being 11/12 and my school bag broke at the bottom and I didn’t have a spare at home so I had to carry around all of my books etc. in a carrier bag for about a week. Always good to have a back up regardless of reason. YANBU.

I dont think boys care that much about shoes tbh. So the ones you have are fine. I would also suggest that those with children starting in year 7 this week do not take this thread too much too heart. The majority of your child's schoolmates will be perfectly nice children, not unlike the ones they knew in year 6. But you will find that anything that makes you stand out will be remarked on, this doesn't mean bullied per se, but it can get wearing. Unless you are very self confident or gregarious it's just easier to blend into the crowd.

I think it's OK to teach street smarts and age appropriate stuff. 'DS, I think that's too young for secondary school. If you want to take it I'm not going to stand in your way but be aware that as you go into teenage years its a natural stage your peers will go through of judging people on various things, one of them being their style. Most people don't care about that stuff, and they certainly won't when they are on into sixth form, but it takes a bit of confidence to be individual and stand out in the early years of secondary. I'm happy for you to be that person, but I want you to be aware so that you are ready for it '.

I would convince him that taking the Nike bag the first week is the way to go, then he can see what everyone else has and make his own decision from there.

Shoes, my experience is that what's 'in' for one school isn't what 'in' at another school. I wouldn't worry about the Velcro (yet) Y7 at the local school is very much 'Velcro' with a 'why bother with laces if you don't have to' but the y7 at the other school is 'Velcro? Grow up!'

@mummyof2boys30

Now this is making me worry. My son is away with a graffiti bag with chunky zip but defo really patterened. His trainers for pe have mock laces and 1 velcro strap. They are adidas. This was a compromise from his clarks 3 strap trainers that he insists are his favourite shoes ever

Some y7 carry Hype round here. My son started secondary with his y6 Hype bag (very bright and colourful design) then picked a black Nike bag in y8,

How is he with a tie @amiasheep?

@alrightfella

Day one in Yr7 is just not the place to stand out. Once you've settled in and made friends individuality becomes so much easier

Smiggle bags and velcro shoes are sadly just setting them up to be an easy target. Not right but that's the way it is.

Possibly also worth mentioning sticky name labels, sharpie is the way to go at secondary school. Basically you want to avoid anything that looks like it belongs to a primary school child.

Ah crap I've used sticky labels!!!

The majority of your child's schoolmates will be perfectly nice children, not unlike the ones they knew in year 6.

That's what I was thinking.... They can't all morph from lovely children to evil pre teens over the summer!!

That's what I was thinking.... They can't all morph from lovely children to evil pre teens over the summer!!

They won't but those who would usually defend him don't want to put their head above the parapet just yet. I would try to persuade him to take the Hype bag at first. Shoes I wouldn't panic about just yet, secondary school children are generally fairly tolerant of disabilities just prepare with him a statement that makes it clear that he needs to wear them.

One of mine perfected saying 'I wear these because of my ankles' . I did splash out and get DM boots because I knew that with crutches, boots, glasses etc. they might otherwise be a target. Actually school has been amazingly tolerant but it takes a little confidence and fitting in on the things that aren't major for your ds (bag choice) so the things he can't easily change (shoe choice) go under the radar.

DD (also using a crutch) has been practising 1 line pithy responses for the last week. "No, my foot is miraculously better. I'm now just using the crutch for fun", She's also developed a death stare that will be used at younger students. She can't choose not to use the crutch, but her
dearest desire is not to stick out. In year 7, you don't want to deal with this if you can avoid it.