Upset i'm the only single one in the office

[RainbowBriteUk]

I've realised that i'm the only single one in the office of eight other people. I've very recently finished for good with arsehole ex but because i'm fairly new to the role, no one at work knows my status they'll think i'm pathetic because i'm single. I regularly have days where I feel so ugly I switch my camera off on teams meetings and this will add to it. Late thirties and pathetically single.

…I doubt any person in that team gives a moments thought to your marital status.

Kindly, why would anyone at work give a fuck about that?

Get it together, they don't think you're pathetic. They probably barely care.

When I was the only single one in the office in my early 20s I thought that made me the cool one!

Ok, your feeling down after a break up, that's understandable. Be kind to yourself. But really, unless you work with very odd people, they are unlikely to think negatively about you because you are single.

These are your thoughts not theirs.

Breaking up is a very difficult time. It's not surprising you feel down.

But look on the bright side, you now don't have to deal with that arsehole.

But honestly, no one at work cares wether you are single or not. I don't know the relationship status of all the people who I share a room with when at work.

I do know one is long term single and no one thinks anything about it.

OP, I'm sure you don't think single people are pathetic, so why would they?

because i'm fairly new to the role, no one at work knows my status they'll think i'm pathetic because i'm single.

I'm sorry you're have a hard time, but you are being absolutely ridiculous. You are creating a narrative that doesn't even exist. Your colleagues couldn't give a fuck about your personal life, I assure you.

I've very recently finished for good with arsehole ex

Well done on your weight loss.

Be kind to yourself in maintenance mode and make sure your next weight gain in a few months time is not junk.

No one in work cares about your love life

I’m the only single person in my team at work. Seriously no one cares and no one thinks it pathetic.

They may find you are behaving a little bit off if you keep turning your camera off though. (It’s like someone wearing a paper bag on their head in the office.) Work meetings are there to discuss work - they are not a social so plaster a smile on and big up your achievements in work.

Now that one colleague has left, I am also the only single person in my team of 12. Divorced, 52 years old, unlikely to meet anyone now IMO - only got away from horrible exh 3.5 years ago. I am bitter about the lost time, but I really don’t care what anyone on my team thinks, or know if they are happy in their relationships.

So in my opinion late 30s is a great age and you have time to meet someone lovely if you want to be in another relationship. Plus I don’t think anyone cares who is single or not.

Why do you think you are ugly?

A year ago when you were with ex, did you feel contemptuous pity for your single workmates? I’m guessing not, I’m guessing that you judged them as individuals on their merits as I hope your new workmates are treating you.

If you did think that your single colleagues were pathetic then that possibly explains why you ended up with arsehole ex, so you need to work on that.

I have no such thoughts about single colleagues op.

Well done on finishing with your awful ex

This says way more about your attitude towards being single, than it does about your colleagues.

You think it's pathetic. It's not. Reframe how you feel about it, and you'll you might realise that nobody else really judges you based on your relationship status.

YABVU to think anyone else cares. Just do your job, be glad to becrid of your ex and stop worrying.

I agree that no one will be interested in your relationship status, but I’m sorry you’re feeling down.

The turning off the camera thing though. Does anyone else do it? This is unprofessional, and makes people wonder what on earth you’re actually doing behind your blank screen...

Yabu, But-do what I did, embellish, embellish, embellish if it makes you feel better. A night of half hearted (had to get tipsy to even get into it) at a club with a singles group transformed into ‘a night of cocktails and dancing’, etc. You’ll soon have your co-workers green with envy and wish They were single.

Politely, nobody gives a shit. Nobody is judging you on this. This is your issue.

I’m jealous of single people. Hth

Gosh I’ve been single for 5 years, I didn’t realise this made people think I’m “pathetic”

I work with a team of 6. Three are single, in their 40's and nobody cares. Your marital status does not define you. Turn your camera on. Be professional.

I'm the only single one in my team... I'm a single parent also. But there's another girl in my team who is the only one who doesn't have children...its swings and roundabouts and nobody gives two hoots about your love life, it doesn't define you as a person.

One place that I worked assumed that I was single because I never mentioned otherwise, and nobody thought anything of it, I certainly never got the impression that they thought less of me. Some of them were quite surprised when I mentioned my husband in passing about six months in though.

Can you explain why you think of single people as pathetic? I find that pretty offensive tbh.