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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you think ‘date nights’ are important?

99 replies

LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:26

Found out I was pregnant a few weeks ago felt grim for a bit but now thankfully feel a lot better. Me and OH have scheduled our first proper ‘date night’ in ages for tomorrow night and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve spent ages today picking out my dress - I need to get a life I know Grin I just feel id love to schedule regular date nights in now and visit as many different places as possible- just think this 1-1 couple time is really important. What are your views on it?

OP posts:
cheesecrackerz · 27/08/2021 19:28

Yes, obviously it is important

Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:29

My parents don’t really do it - they socialise - but not the two of them together

OP posts:
Cornishmumofone · 27/08/2021 19:30

I'd lived with DH for 18 years before getting pregnant so wasn't particularly fussed about date nights... but we did do a lot of running, cycling and swimming together in the year before we had DD as that is what we enjoy doing.

HumunaHey · 27/08/2021 19:31

Really important. When DS1 was born, it was over a year before DH and I went on a proper date and it felt brilliant.

We had left DS before that but only for 1-2hours at a time and I'd spend the whole tome anxious about DS' welfare. It took a long time before I could let go.

Lotts123 · 27/08/2021 19:32

Do it, dd is 2.5yrs and between finding babysitters and lockdowns we have managed about 3 date nights since she was born. Our date nights now are mostly a takeaway and movie at home 😂

Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:32

Cornishmumofone sounds good- I think it’s good to do a variety of different and active things

OP posts:
FoxesAtDawn · 27/08/2021 19:34

Very important. Lack of ‘us time’ and then Covid almost killed our relationship (we actually separated for 9 months). We are working on things again now and it’s better, but the romance dies quickly if you don’t continue to work at it. It doesn’t have to be date nights but it does need to be quality time alone.

Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:34

Lotts123 sometimes takeaway and movie at home are a great way to spend an evening ! Smile

OP posts:
Bellagonna · 27/08/2021 19:34

Do it! We have a 6yo and haven't been out since she was born as we don't have any childcare options. I miss the theatre and comedy shows etc.

IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves · 27/08/2021 19:35

If it's important to you then it's important to you and you should absolutely allocate time to it.

It's not important to me or my husband (23 years time served so far 😁) so we don't bother but everyone is different.

Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:35

HumanaHey glad it was such a good experience after all that time!

OP posts:
Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:36

FoxesAtDawn - totally agree with what you said about quality time

OP posts:
Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:36

Bellagonna hope you get the option soon!

OP posts:
Faevern · 27/08/2021 19:40

I think it’s important I think the term date night gets mocked by some people though.

However the idea of making time for each other is a good one. Too often couples don’t prioritise time for each other then realise it’s a long time since they did anything together because it’s no longer spontaneous. And then can’t be bothered.

I too enjoy getting dressed to go out or planning time away or even having a no social media evening, having a meal etc. I have a few friends who also arrange date nights.

LockdownCheeseToastie · 27/08/2021 19:42

You need time as a couple but it doesn’t need to be out of the house. It’s actually easier with smaller kids who go to bed at a decent time, hard with teenagers who go to bed later than you as you have to go out to get any time on your own!

PlanDeRaccordement · 27/08/2021 19:45

We don’t do date nights. Hate them. They’re not for everyone.

SkinnyMirror · 27/08/2021 19:45

It's very, very important to us.

SkinnyMirror · 27/08/2021 19:47

It we've never called them date nights. We just make sure we prioritise adult time occasionally.

Classica · 27/08/2021 19:49

I think one-on-one time as a couple where you're not simply discussing kids or household stuff is very important. Whether that' takes the form of a fancy 'date night', or walking the dog together, or the odd leisurely dinner as a couple once the kids are gone to bed.

Original poster
LBirch02 · 27/08/2021 19:52

I also think trying new things and activities/days out together is great as well

OP posts:
WeaningNewbiiee · 27/08/2021 20:01

Hubby and I are going on our first date night tomorrow in celebration of our wedding anniversary it'll be a year since our last date night as this was pre baby.

I do believe date nights are really important. I didn't realise how much I enjoyed and really valued the quality time together. If I could I would of tried to make them more frequent when I was pregnant.

knittingaddict · 27/08/2021 20:06

Yes it is. I think the best thing you can do for your children is to maintain a good relationship with each other and that means time alone together without children.

Obviously the amount of time varies between couples and we certainly didn't get weekly date nights when ours were little. We did however eat together every evening once the children were in bed so that we had time to talk and be with each other.

knittingaddict · 27/08/2021 20:07

Never called them date nighst though as that's a fairly new term that I don't love for some reason.

riotlady · 27/08/2021 20:10

I think it’s all about spending time together. We never really went out to restaurants or on date nights but we do always make time to hang out together in the evening.

Eralos · 27/08/2021 20:11

We let it drop off as the kids are you h but we’re trying to start it up again as I noticed a difference. Yes they are very important. I see them like team bonding.